DATS PUNNY

“backpackers are IN TENTS
(get it? intents = intense)


are you punny this morning?”

“This place could use more humor. There seems to be a lot of negative energy around this place.”

“I love Puns...THAT is a great one...good for a bumper sticker!!!”

“------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
.....Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA


One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."
.....Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long
have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
answered . "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive."

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady
upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly
said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but
the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
------------------------------------------------------------------------”

“File SENILE.COM found ... Out of memory.”

“Those are pretty funny, Abilene!”

“i think its berry punny mr nice guy and troll420 posting within less than 90 seconds of each other at a time when traffic is very low”

“Oh geeze, here we go again.


BTW, very punny guys!”

“I don't like ground coffee," Tom said instantly

I don't want to sleep in a cabin," Tom said with intent

I don't like curse words," Tom discussed

I should have written down the proposed food supplies," Tom said listlessly”

“One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river."
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence to cross this river."
And Poof! God turned him Buddur. He looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.”

“Little Black Sambo turned the tiger into budder...”

“Buddur, you changed it bunches!”

“your a real sherlack holmes stormbringer”

“Most of that is 2/3 of a pun

PU!”

“So the guy at work last night had Discovery Health on and this show about transgender surgery was on. I’m reading my book when I hear something to the effect of, “…some simply do not want the baggage of their male genitalia…”.

And of course I said, “I like my baggage. Where the hell else am I gonna carry my nuts?”.”

“That took some balls.”