Unusual Alcohol Abuse

“Anyone ever try this?

1. Take a large shotglass and turn it upside down
2. Fill the bottom indentation with Cuervo
3. Lift to face.
4. Snort it up a nostril
5. Enjoy as Cuervo instantly seeps straight to the brain.

Warning: Do not try this at home. This was done by Professional Drinkers at College in their prime. The tolerable limit is unknown, possibly forgotten.”

“That sounds like part of a pledge hazing...”

“bear are you going to the Ithaca trip or not??”

“Nope we did it for "fun". Although we also played a lot of a$$ho!e in college. Once, Two Freshmen who decided to play with Bottom shelf shnapps & tequila ended up going to the Hospital. I think it had something to do with the location of the college - Potsdam, NY. As cold and isolated as the Arctic circle.”

“I responded on the other thread - I want to so bad but I'll be in Yellowstone with the Grizzlies!”

“ok”

“How about you change the date for me? :)”

“Never tried that. YIKES!”

“Who got the worm?”

“The worm! What a great idea!”

“Yow.”

“1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after having. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy
hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers,
fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set it in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a
coffee filter. Mix with warm
water and rinse your mouth. Don't swallow.

12. Using a Q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore ! to help it dry out.

13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.

14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your
scalp and let dry.

15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that is causing pain in your ear.

16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

19. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

20. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain. If all else fails, just turn the bottle
up and drink it, nothing will matter anymore anyway!”

“This message brought to you by the American Council For Vodka Consumption.”

“1-19 isn't unusual alcohol abuse it's waste and therefore crimminal abuse!”

“American? Wouldn't it be Russian?”

“Good info Prosector!



8p”

“The Russians are doing a pretty good job of vodka consumption just drinking it. They don't need any more ideas!”

“Did you realize that Russia has two orders of magnitude more annual deaths by alcohol poisoning that the US?”

“I think they would be horrified at those uses!”

“I hate vodka do what ever you want with it. I'd rather drink tequila.”

“I think I can, and have, consumed most types of liquor straight. I'm not a heavy drinker anymore, but my "tolerance" has increased”

“Always remember its good for ya!


8)”

“I don't think I've ever had gin.

My cousin's husband spent a couple of years writing a book on Poland. He brought back some slivovitz that had been produced in the area he visited to interview people. He brought it out once when I was visiting them. The stuff smelled awful, like it was full of fusel oils or methanol or whatnot. I wasn't brave enough to drink it.

My cousin used it as a weedkiller.”

“Love Tanqueray (sp?) Gin straight!”

“I'll trade you must hike! Used to love tequila. That was until I got in the habit of drinking a 1/5 every party I went to.”

“If you only go to one party a year, that's not so bad...”

“ is it time for a yet?”

“As we say in Lower Alabama,,,,


Hell yeah!!!!”

“My dream girl.”

“Alcohol Consumption : FDA Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead/knees.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.”

“I honestly have never made The Phone call, and I know where the rug burns on my knees came from - bonus was she wasn't scary in the morning. Unfortunatly, she had a different opinion of me.”

“Wow. I've never been on the opposite end of a Coyote Date, LOL”

“BITPUSHER!

Slivovitz is grand stuff. If we ever go hiking, we're taking some. Also, you need to get a gin and tonic. It's a classic drink for a reason. The stuff kicks ass!”

“What's a "coyote date"

Gin & Tonic - nothing better in the summer.”

“That's when you wake up and your arm is under your date... and she's so scary you'd rather chew your arm off than wake her up. Kinda like a coyote in a trap...

Don't tell you never heard that one, LOL



Ah, yes... Ginnan Tonnix at the beach while flying stunt kites. Extremely large fun!

(Douglas Adams' spelling)”

“The smell of gin makes me want to vomit.”

“I gotta try some then...”

“I put alcohol in a stove once...AND COOKED WITH IT.”

“Bit, you didn't taste the slivovitz? Oh, man, you just lost youer kewl points. Even TARABULL drinks slivovitz. Pbthfft!”

“LOL! I see, Tilt. If you've never been the opposite of a coyote date then you've never scored well above your means! I wasn't upset that she wanted nothing to do with me because I've done it and she was and probably still is the hottest thing I've been with!”

“eewwww, that vodka mouthwash sounds heinous! puke.

and i think having to smell Cuervo going into my nose would cause instant projectile vomiting.

bit, you've NEVER had gin? you crazy SOB! you should get Bombay Saphire, it's pine-y and delicious!”

“Instant projectile vomitting............YEAH!”

“Quick! A shot of Cuervo for lyra!

This is gonna be so cool!”

“wait, let me eat something red!”

“No, I didn't even taste the slivovitz. This stuff had been distilled in an old car radiator and smelled like kerosene. So I decided to keep my vision and give it a miss, lol...”

“..and chunky!”

“How about some of those red twizzlers?

My kid O.D.'ed on that crap when he was about 8.

You shoulda seen that red puke!”

“At one party and long time ago and while drinking Cuervo and Heinikins (bad spelling) I had the sudden urge to eat carrots. Before too long, I ate the whole bag then I finished the bottle.

What came up was not pretty.”

“Put it on a slab of bread and, voila!”