Librarians are terrorists

“"They'd like to create a terrorist safety zone in the library," said Mark Corallo, director of public affairs for the Justice Department.

This in response to librarians asking for part of the USA Patriot(Nazi) Act to be rescinded. So, now the official stance of the shrub administration is that librarians are knowingly trying to aid terrorists! Is it too late to impeach this whole bunch of morons, Nazis, homophobes and real terrorist-lovers? (Republicans are terrorist-lovers? Yes. Prick, I mean Dick, Cheney voted as a congressman to allow plastic pistols which evade metal detectors, fully automatic assault weapons, cop-killer bullets, and no waiting periods or background checks. So in Dick Cheney's perfect world, Charles Manson or Osama bin Laden, etc could walk into a gun shop tomorrow and walk out with a Bushmaster (great name), just like the kind used by the DC snipers! Scary, isn't it?)”

“It�s the new McCarthyism.”

“Let me see if I have this right....

The Government has the right to go to Barns and Nobles and the public library and get the records of what books I've read in the last 10 years.

If you buy a AK47, they want to destroy the records of the back ground check because it's an invasion of your privacy.


Am I missing something here?”

“Guns don't kill people, knowledge does.”

“Bills don't take away your rights, the attorney general does.”

“Bush and the right wing can check your library records, but if you are an elected official serving the public (Bush & Cheney), your records concerning what you were doing pertaining to Energy Task Force and what you knew prior to 9/11 are somehow none of the publics business.

And god forbid we should look into the medical records of a right wing drug dealer.”

“if:

You never have your library card, and then you cough on me while explaining that you don't even have an ID on you.

You refuse to learn to use the computers for yourself, and get impatient when I dont know your yahoo password.

You stare blankly as I check in your 40 books so you can pay a five-cent fine.

You contest a five-cent fine.

You call me "dear" and "doll" and "sweetie".

You physically turn my computer monitor around to watch my screen if I'm helping you. appalling.

You want to know why we dont order the paperbacks you want, after the ten letters you've written to our superiors.

You refuse to ever, ever, ever buy a book.

You angrily explain you need this book more than other people do, as you are in a prestigious "book club".

You are over sixty and compliment my eyes/smile, and wink.

You smell worse than the garbage that keeps you warm.

You put out your cigarette on your way in.

You light your cigarette in the lobby on the way out.

On good days you smell like actual vodka rather than scope.

You rearrange the items on my desk.

You pick up the book you saw me put down to assist you, and start to read.

You are banging on the door to get in, so you can save 50 cents on the newspaper.

You cut up the newspaper.

You steal the newspaper. we only have one newspaper you know.

You want a particular book a friend recommended, but you dont know the title or author or year of publication, and your friend has recently passed on.

You say anything other than "no #&%!$, right?" when you catch me yawning.

..Such as "are we BORING YOU?"- the answer is, yes.

You let your child scream for more than 30 seconds without escorting him out.

Your stroller needs WD40.

When your child starts hysterically bawling, and we dont have to look at a clock to know it is precisely 11am. take him to the #&%!$ing park.

Your computer starts making a beeping noise because of your disk, so you just leave it for us to figure out. You play dumb: we are on to you. Your disk has your name on it, jackass.

You state loudly that librarians shouldnt have peircings. They shouldnt be #&%!$ing on their desks after-hours either, I suppose?

You believe that being ancient means you can be an #&%!$.


the end.










dickheads.”

“MarkO's hell on earth?”

“probably”

“just like the kind used by the DC snipers! Scary, isn't it?)”
Slugman

Listen F%$KWAD, now that your done venting your spleen with empty rhetoric that probably sounds better to yourself every time you read it, kindly take your garbage to a fuego thread. Unlike You, Obviously, some of us lived through that. I also happened to know the young man that got shot in the stomach at the elementary school in Bowie. If you actually did any research. The F%$ker that did the shooting was anti government and a MUSLIM terrorist.”

“You're going to have to type louder! He wrote that almost 4 years ago.
last edited: 11/03/07 10:46:32 PM”

“jackstraws anger reaches back in time”

“I haven't been in a public library in many years.

Gotta open the joint today at noon.

Even in this cooler weather some of the women show remarkable amounts of skin.”

“what kind of library do you work at?”

“State University library”

“I was just venting my spleen too. Sorry. I'll check the date next time. Hugs?”

“I love our library, but seriously, there are some very valid points on that rant. Especially the screaming kid one.”

“oh my gosh crash - I seriously didn't think your pictures could get any gayer. I was wrong. Now stop saying I never admit when I'm wrong. That is definitely gayer than the giggling cats.”

“I visit our public library at least once a week, but I rarely stay more than 30 minutes at a time so I don't see all that stuff on the list. I am sure it happens though. I once walked up to one of the check out stations right after a librarian finished serving someone. I though he would be right back. The other librarian finished checking out her line and looked over at me, but I was lost in thought about something or other and wasn't paying attention. I was patiently waiting for the other guy to come back. After about 30 seconds she walked down and snippishly said "you could have come over to where I was" as she began checking me out. I felt very small LOL. Whats that commercial about "wanting to get away"?”

“Is this the recalled beef and chinnese toy pile?”

“You knew this was coming ----



Librarian Action Figure!!

The American Phobia Foundation did a study on the nation's most feared professions. #1 was Public Librarian. #2 was Undertaker. And #3 was School Librarian. (Now we know why they don't have libraries in funeral homes.)

We're not surprised at the results of this study for two reasons. First, we made it up. And second, we all know how tough librarians can be. These literary tyrants enforce more rules than the International Olympic Committee... No Talking, No Smoking, No Drinking, No Cell Phones, No Eating, No Pets, No Gum Chewing, No Unsanctioned Stapling, No Overdue Books, No Underdue Books,and on and on and on.

The Librarian Action Figure captures librarians' fierce yet friendly spirit. It's modeled after Nancy Pearl, a real-life librarian currently working in the Seattle area. The 5-inch posable figure is made of durable plastic, so she's rugged enough to leap tall book shelves and wrestle with Melvil Dewey (of Decimal System fame).

REALISTIC SHUSHING ACTION!

When you press the button on the Librarian's back, her arm moves toward her mouth in a "shushing action." No, she doesn't talk... but no self-respecting librarian has to. A cold stare and firm gesture can shut down even the boldest blabbermouth.



COMPLETE WITH BOOKS
AND OTHER STUFF!

(and we all know how scary and dangerous books can be)

As an extra bonus, each package includes a miniature stack of random literature. You also get a brief history of libraries and a realistic check-out card in a classic library sleeve. Plus, you get two bookmarks and -- best of all -- a Nancy Pearl trading card! That, my friend, is a LOT of stuff.”

“We're not surprised at the results of this study for two reasons. First, we made it up

hahaha, that should be the mission statement of TT”

“Librarians..... and cows.”

“My daughter is a librarian...and she is a GREAT person!!!..and dealing with the public can be stressful!!!!”

“The Hell-Oh Kitty was for Crash Bang, by the way.

There are a couple of librarians here who would look pretty good in black leather bikini with a whip, but only a couple.

Then there are a couple who remind me more of this kind of Bikini.
”

“

Sign on the office door at Los Alamos....

                "Gone Fission"

”