Unca Gremlin's freaking out!

“I'm posting this in the 'fuego' category because I'm going to go to Hell!

I't finally raining up here and it's getting warm enough to give me hope that I'll have water some time this week-end.

If it gets any warmer, my Gawddemmed students will be NEKKID! I don't know where to look when I'm in class.

Just had to share.”

“Shouldn't this be in the posting while drunk thread?”

“Ohhhhhhh Canada!”

“A visual buffet. Ahhh.”

“Unca Gremlin, if you don't know where to look, you're too far gone. Unless you teach an all boys class.”

“I've got 16 16 and 17 years old girls and two boys in this class.

Jeans and mini skirts ride so low in front you can see they shave.

It's end of term and we're watching 'The Birdcage'. Half the class is wearing ini micro skirts (belts) so I can't sit in front. When I go to the back of the class to watch the movie, the other half has g-sterings, tatoos and half the crack of their arses showing.

Jeeeezuz!”

“Just remember if you are going to hell that Canadian Hell is only about 70% of American Hell because of the exchange rate.”

“daaaang, we would NOT have gotten away with that at my high school!”

“Now what's a redblooded American Canadian male supposed to do in a situation like this?”

“Oh to be 16 again.

Just remember "15 gets you 30".”

“Think of Roseanne Barr.

Wait until they are legal then ask them out.”

“I'll mesh this with my digital camera thread: Bring your digital camera to school, put it in continuous capture mode and leave it on your desk.

Take it home, upload the results to your computer, and well, you know the rest.”

“... well, you know the rest.
In 5 minutes the feds are busting down your door for having kiddy porn.”

“Hey, a court just ruled that a video showing an underage girl baring her breasts with no physical contact wasn't porn. Grem's students are dressed, just dressed sluttily. Can't see how that's porn!”

“Once again, Zac's on the money, er,the exchange rate. Now, that IS good news.

Lizs, it drive the teachers crazy (to get serious for a moment), especially the women. They tear their hair out inventing new rules and short of the burka, they're impossible to enforce fairly and the kids know it.

Oh well (sigh).”

“Look... Unca Gremlin's got a new webpage... with photos....

$29.95 a month? WTF?”

“The girls are talking about the Graduation Ball and it's all clear now. They're trolling. If they can get a senior to invite them to the ball, their 'chick status' goes through the roof among their peers.”

“I don't suppose that has the same double entendre in French as it does in English?”

“Suddenly a career in education seems appealing. Maybe just a little older though.”

“that's gross, bitpusher!

and did you just mistake me for Lizs, Gremlin? EEWWWW!!
j/k :-D

but for real, we couldn't even wear tank-tops, we'd be sent home to change.”

“Never change, Lyra.”

“hardy-har-har! ;-)”

“How about tube tops, lyra?”

“Yes lyra, I like you just the way you are! >;^O”

“".....it drive the teachers crazy (to get serious for a moment), especially the women. They tear their hair out...."

The girls know better, they just shave it.”

“Especially in a tank top!”

“NO TUBE TOPS!

and may you remain forever nuttier than a fruitcake, as well, MarkO.
:-)”

“Thanks, lyra!


Life is like a fruitcake.....


....somehow.”

“I'm in the wrong profession.”

“Sorry, Lyra. BTW, the girls wear open shirts to hide the belly and the b++bs and take them off when they figure they won't be caught. Male teachers are in a bind here, because we're a lot safer if we just don't 'notice'.

The girls know they can complain about male teachers 'looking' at them.”

“and complain they will - and make you look like a dirty old man.”

“I thought gremlin was already a dirty old man.
jk”

“Mini Skirts

by John Lee Hooker
recording of 1968, New York
from Tantalizing The Blues (MCA 1686), copyright notice

(spoken:
Mini skirts and tight dresses,
you know they're so tight they can hardly wiggle
Ha, and big legs too you know)

Everywhere I go, there's a mini skirt there
Everywhere I go, there's a mini skirt there
Tight skirts, tight skirts, everywhere
Oh yeah

I go walkin' in the park, there's a mini skirt there
I go walkin' in the park, there's a mini skirt there
Mini skirt, tight skirts, everywhere

Yeah yeah, mini skirt, mini skirt, way up above the knee
Way up, above the knee, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, above

I go to strollin' in the park, I see mini skirts out there
I go out in the park, I see mini skirts out there
Mini skirts, mini skirts, everywhere

Yeah, look-a here now
I go walking down the avenue, I see out there, mini skirts
Way up 'bove the knee
Mini skirts, mini skirts, everywhere
Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout, mini skirt
And tight, skirt,
and big legs
Strollin' down the avenue
I can't stand it”

“I'M A HYPOCRITE!”

“I had that album. I believe it also had 'Drug Store Women'.”

“Hypocrite? Naw, I don't think so.

Red Blooded Heterosexual? YAH!

not that's there's anything wrong with that...”

“Gremlin, I feel for ya(wink, wink!).

At least here at the university they are old enough to, uh,......ya know!”

“I hope you're still working on your leer....”

“and you might as well seam seal the fly while your tent pole is up!”

“I am a proud dirty old man! And wouldn't last long where you work. I would defend my "leering", though:

"If a women decides to throw her sexuality in my face what else can I do? Goodbye."”

“That was a good one, Capn.

I'm lucky that I teach the older kids and can even allow myself to joke about it - there's a line, though.

It's 6.0 pm and I just finished training my boys' Midget rugby team. I have a young, former student coaching the Midget girls. That's the age group where you can get into trouble, especially coaching a contact sport.

My female colleague who helps me coach is pregnant, but she'll be back helping me next year. It's a good thing as the young lad will be going away to university.

Good night, All.”

“I'm now visualizing what can only be described as a slightly twisted "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" rerun.

Woah is me.”

“I'm just hoping a woman decided to throw her sexuality in my face :op”

“I'd just like to apologise for the nature and content of my last comment :o) it's been a long day.”

“ynami, try as you might, you're a gentleman.


Take solace, pal.”

“BTW, this is thread 30001.”

“Hey rugby taping gremlin guy -

two questions

1. Can you tape a bruised rib?

2. If so, is there a point to doing that?”

“what did your doctor tell you to do”

“Obviously my doctor didn't address this aspect of recovery. The doctor I saw is an orthopedic surgeon, and said there is nothing they can do. She is not, on the other hand, a physical therapist. If you're at all into sports, you understand that what doctors are good at is world's apart from what trainers are good at.”

“hmmm then call me silly, but go see a physical therapis.”