Signs You Might Be a Liberal

“Signs You Might Be a Liberal

1. You think Ted Koppel's Hair is real!
2. You like to give to charities - with other people's money.
3. You think free love is sheik and still wonder why your third marriage just went down the toilet.
4. Whenever an intern disappears in Washington, you say it's all about sex.
5. Your father wore flowers and your mother wore army boots in the sixties.
6. You think Al Gore won the election in 2000.
7. You fondly recall Stalin as "Uncle Joe".
8. You think the second amendment is the right to keep and bear a white flag.
9. Whenever you hear Rush Limbaugh's name mentioned you foam at the mouth and your knee jerks.
10. When hooligans throw rocks at police, you call it civil disobedience, when Republicans protest a fixed election you call it a riot.
11. If you nod your head and genuflect when Ted Kennedy speaks (or belches) then you might be a liberal.
12. If you went to prep school, got your bachelor's, master's, doctorate; you teach in a university, and still imagine that you know all about the real world, then you might be a liberal.
13. If you think evangelical is a dirty word you might be a liberal.
14. If you make sure to invite a lone conservative to your chic (not sheik) party because you want to show people how open-minded you are then you might be a liberal.
15. If you think alcoholics are disabled and deserve Social Security (or should be elected to be the senior senator from Massachussettes) then you might be a liberal.
16. If you eat granola bars for breakfast, salad greens for lunch, quiche for supper and then wake up hungry in the middle of the night and eat a whole quart of ice cream...and still think you are eating healthy, then you might be a liberal.
17. If you think rats, mice and houseflies are people, too, then you might be a liberal.
18. If you burried your dead goldfish in the compost bin because you thought it would be good for the environment then you might be a liberal.
19. If you think the government can solve your personal problems then you might be a liberal.
20. And our favorite: You might be a liberal if your FIVE-YEAR-OLD tells YOU what to do!
21. "You might be a liberal if you give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway, but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout."”

“Bravo.”

“22. Your trail name is chili36”

“the twins are back”

“"the twins are back"

Siamies sharing one brain? It is a funny list though. In all fairness to humor's sake I humbly subit the following...

Fifteen signs You're married to a Right Winger (formerly liberal)

15. Pro life but pro tobacco, pro guns, and pro death penalty.

14. In your wedding vows, "love, honor, and cherish" were replaced with "condescend, enrich, and respect his/her freshly starched pajama suits."

13. His white T-shirt has a pointy hood.

12. Supported Bush for President in 2000, because he promised to lead us into the 20th century.

11. Cheats on your taxes, then donates the refund check to the Moral Majority.

10. Has the National Rifle Association on speed dial.

9. Delays your funeral until the estate tax is repealed.

8. Every time you try to get frisky, she asks why you can't be more like Bob Dole.

7. Whenever you have to make a tough decision, she mutters "What would Nancy Reagan do?"

6. Refers to your children as "deduction one and deduction two."

5. Refers to sex as "the once a year duty to berth more Republicans."

4. At the height of passion, cries out, "Exploit my natural resources!!!"

3. Blames the Holocaust on failed attempts to restrict German gun rights.

2. Constantly scolds your dog by screeching, "dirty little nudist animal"

and the Number 1 Sign You're Married to a Conservative...

1. He/She's got the kids playing "slumlords exploit tenant revenue streams" again. Three more posted by a responder:

foreplay consists of low, evocative readings of the turner diaries

wore a camo tuxedo at the wedding and took you to freeman's town for your honeymoon

thinks " head start" is what the cops should give all them mud people before firing”

“You Might Be a Liberal If...



You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.

You named your children Moonglow and Arizona.

You think the really alarming violence takes place outside the abortion clinic.

You've ever referred to the ''root cause'' of something.

You pray to ''The Woman Upstairs.''

You think we never gave peace a chance.

You had to be told that ''Manhattan,'' ''menopause,'' and ''boycott'' were not sexist words.

You begin sentences with the words ''I feel.''

Your driver's license has a hyphen because for you one last name just isn't enough.

You don't think ''All in the Family'' is a very funny program, but watch it anyway because Meathead makes a lot of sense.

You think O.J. is out looking for the real killers.

You think Julia Sugarbaker is an astute social commentator.

You think it takes a village.

You think that the words ''to promote the general welfare'' in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.

You think that, even though more people voted against him than for him in both the 1992 and the 1996 presidential elections, Bill Clinton had a mandate.

You think that conservatives, like preservatives, ought to be federally regulated.

You ever wore earth shoes.

You have ever wondered out loud, ''Why can't we all just get along?''

You think the New York Times prints all the news that's fit.

You think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer.

You spent Columbus Day reading ''Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.''

You reach the limits of your talent and then complain that you ran into a glass ceiling.

You wear more ribbons on your lapel than in your hair.

You think that the really dangerous McCarthy was Joe, not Eugene.

You blame the Unabomber's parents.

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand.”

“21. "You might be a liberal if you give money to the homeless man on the corner of the freeway, but you turn up your nose every time you see a boy scout.""

Sorry Nancy Boy, I prefer women.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that Tom the Terrible! Now get back to putting those books away! We already know where you fall in this!”

“You can fall for a Boy Scout if'n ya like UU.....just watch out for Ashcroft, he's on to ya.”

“you know you're a conservative when:
1. you don't know how to distinguish propaganda by who is profiting from it
2. you applaud pre-emtive strikes as the only way to get things done
3. if you are a man,you believe women are property-again
4. if you are a women, you support your man's political views (especially if he is rich)
5. you think gay rights are the same as animal rights
6. you think that 11th century Muslim beliefs should be followed instead of 8th century beliefs
7. you think that US resources should be exploited as soon as possible
8. you think that stock values are the only important economic factors in your budget planning
9. you think that interest rates should rise so that your money can be working like it should
10. you only listen to rushie so that you can justify yourself in the mirror every morning
(not taken cut and paste from anything) :)”

“TT Maybe you should check out some self help books for yourself.”

“Maybe I should put some of those books.........






wait for it!!!



















Up Urs!!!!”

“TT or Mark which one do you go by?”

“
...you just might be a Liberal. ;-)”

“Dang...a RED CROSS???? not really pissed more...Cross about it....(LOL)”

“worst trolling ever!”

“we get it stove. liberals are un-american”

“If this picture turns you on....

...you might be StoveStomper.;-)”

“LOL
I see kleeny was pissed off. LOL”

“Nothing like a chipmunk in the skivvies to get your day going.”