Louisiana to Ban Butt Cracks

“WAIST CASE
Staking out the high moral ground, a bill would punish those wearing low-riding jeans

By Michelle Krupa The Times-Picayune

With her hip-hugging jeans fastened low enough to show off the sparkly strings of her thong, Britney Spears could be a common criminal when she comes home to Louisiana to put on a show.

And Nelly's baggy jeans, if they happen to slip and show his drawers, could get him booted from the rap circuit to a New Orleans jail cell if state lawmakers approve a bill filed Tuesday in the House that would make it a crime to wear pants below the waist.

Even plumbers could get canned under the draft law that state Rep. Derrick Shepherd, D-Marrero, said he filed because he was tired of catching glimpses of boxer shorts and G-strings over the low-slung belt lines of young adults.

House Bill 1626 would punish anyone caught wearing low-riding pants with a fine of as much as $500 or as many as six months in jail, or both.

"I'm sick of seeing it," said Shepherd, a first-term legislator, who added he's gotten similar complaints from ministers in his district. "The community's outraged. And if parents can't do their job, if parents can't regulate what their children wear, then there should be a law."

continued...”

“This law discriminates against plumbers and refrigerator repairmen.”

“These people crack me up!”

“ludacris!”

“Next they'll ban the crack of dawn, seeing as how they've already banned the crack of Dawn.”

“i am speechless!!”

“Say no to crack!”

“All I can say is Thank gawd Ohio passed that concealed wepons bill, now I don't have to walk around with my johnson exposed.”

“Somehow I think it was all a miss understanding. It was supposed to an anti-drug law.”

“Wonder how the vote will go on this bill. Wouldn't be surprised if they are split right down the middle!”

“Treebeard, I can almost hear the drummer doing a rim shot from here. Which nightclub will you be playing tonight?”

“Thank you, Thank you!

Hey, is this microphone on?

I can hear you breathing out there.

Thank you for coming down to the Idiot's Lounge! I'll be here all week!”

“but, really folks.....”

“(dodging the tomato)

Hey, is that all ya got, Lady? I can toss my cookies farther than that!

My dog throws better than that! And he's a southpaw!”

“It is every plumber's constitutional right to show butt crack. These people are trampling the constitution!”

“That law will just make it harder to see butt tattoos.

If cracks are outlawed, only outlaws will have cracks.”

“If they can ban butt cracks, will wise cracks be next?”

“buh, bye, treebeard!”

“Gee, this is tough room to play!”

“Go ahead, slap my cheeks! Butt, in the end, I will just split!”

“Just don't make any gaseous noises and all will be okay!”

“OK, you win! Conflatulations!”

“P-U”

“All right, I'm putting on my wind breaker and blowing this place!”

“All right, I'm putting on my wind breaker and blowing this place!”

“Sounds like TB is fixin' to blow the whole house...








...whatta sport.”

“Are they tryin' to wipe out crack?”

“argh.”

“One more crack like that and I'm gonna.........”

“How will this effect Mardi Gras????????”

“A few weeks ago as I was wolfing down a Harvey's hamberger, some fat broad sat down in front of me (facing the other way) and her ugly butt crack was showing...I nearly upchucked.”

“Yumm-Oh!

Hmmmmm, I can't think of anything wise to say.

Treebeard, why don't you take a crack at it.”

“I knew crack made ya skinny, but I didn't think of it working that way...”

“Good one bit. Now I don't need to stick my finger down my throat to upchuck.”

“Went to the local mall's food court to have lunch with my wife today.

Saw plenty of young girls in low-rider jeans, but no crack.

Maybe it's just a bigger problem in Louisiana.”

“Was it a female version of this:



”

“...there went a decent roast beef sandwich, thanks treebeard!”

“Nothing like a vertical smile to complement your food, eh Bit?”

“They're going to enforce that law right after they enforce the drinking and driving law, right?”

“Close treebeard, very close. :o)”

“Then, you have my heartfelt sympathies! :)”

“Are you sure this guy is not a republican?”

“Yeah Tango...that's real romantic. :o)”