Ok Lyra, I know this Monkey thing is old but...

“http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=ourWorldNews&storyID=5192624" TARGET="_blank">monkey school”

“Lyras Monkey has simian herpes? maybe he shouldn't be getting that close....”

“"Bad Luck Streak In Monkey School"

(Warren Zevon's first draft)”

“"At the end of a long day, the student simians relax by watching the Food Network, newscasts, cartoons and even at times wildlife network Animal Planet..."


I'd have thought they would be FOX News fans.”

“that was just mean, Violin!

everyone knows monkeys like the commercials best.”

“Fox news IS commercials (for the right).”

“Don't take this from the TT riff-raff, lyra!

Go ahead, LOVE YOUR MONKEYS!”

“

Touch my monkey! TOUCH HIM! LOVE HIM!”

“Man, the dieter guy sure is some kinda kook!

He and mango should get hitched and have a buncha younguns! Wouldn't that be a hoot!”

“So maybe one of your Orangutan friends might spice things up?


”

“Scary spice has really let herself go...”

“No. I think it's abuse. If she stops with the botox and steroids everything might be OK.”

“Oh my, oh my.
The one thing I have learned from 'Her Adorableness' is that apes are not monkeys. ;-)”

“Nah... Monkey got tail.”

“Don't you know you're going to shock the monkey?”

“awww, you people did miss me! i just got back from a week in the Outer Banks. i was going to Leave TT if i didn't see at least one thread up w/my name in it! for real. ;-)”

“awww, you people did miss me! i just got back from a week in the Outer Banks. i was going to Leave TT if i didn't see at least one thread up w/my name in it! for real. ;-)”

“Missed you until this double post. ;)”

“Damn, another opportunity to be rid of her is missed ;op”

“""At the end of a long day, the student simians relax by watching the Food Network, newscasts, cartoons and even at times wildlife network Animal Planet..."

LOL! Honey Dog loves Animal Planet! When I have to leave her alone I always leave the TV on for her to watch. Emergency Vets is her favorite program.”

“You wanted to get rid of her, Y2?Maybe I should have captioned the photo "Lyra and her new vehicle"?”

“that's a hot outfit.”

“Doing hard time in monkey jail

PATIALA, India -- The thief threatened children with bricks and ripped the buttons off shirts. He stole tomatoes from one home and snatched bread from another. Down the street, he briefly fled with a differential equations book and beat a calculator with his fist.

He was one bad monkey. And last week he was sentenced to life in prison for his crimes, inmate No. 13 at the country's only known monkey jail, where very bad monkeys are sent to live out their remaining years.

"He used to eat our guavas," said Bhagwanti Devi, a neighbor who was harassed by the monkey. "He would throw stones and try to hit us. Until we gave him flat bread, he wouldn't leave."

This jail is Punjab state's answer to the monkey menace in India, where killing monkeys is forbidden. Hindus consider monkeys sacred, living representatives of the monkey god Hanuman. Thousands of temples are dedicated to Hanuman, and many people feed monkeys in the hopes of divine rewards.

Monkeys have invaded government ministries in New Delhi, ridden elevators and climbed along windowsills. Monkeys slapped students inside a girls school in a south Bengal suburb. A gang of monkeys in the city of Chandigarh ripped up lawns, broke flowerpots and yanked sheets off beds.

Some monkeys, mostly loners, have bitten people, injuring and even killing small children.

"Monkeys are very furious," said Ujagar Singh, the Patiala district spokesman. "They are dangerous animals."

Officials have tried many tactics to fight the monkeys, mostly of the pink-faced rhesus variety. They have told people to stop feeding the animals. They have given monkeys an herbal contraceptive mixed in with cashew nuts. Hundreds of troublesome monkeys have been sent to wildlife sanctuaries. Last fall, the Supreme Court even decreed that New Delhi should be monkey-free.

<snip>”

“In related news, yesterday was the 38th anniversary of the premier of "The Monkees".”

“Quit monkeying around with Her Adorableness.”

“monkeys loooove to slap, what can ya do!”

“But eating guavas?!!

Ohhh... the humanity!”

“Monkey jails for very bad monkeys ... hmmmm, I wonder whether Dubya ...

No, that would be cruel to the monkeys.”

“yeah, he should totally have known those guavas "belonged" to someone! not!”

“you're right Geo, that is an insult to monkeys!”

“Okay, let me apologize sincerely to any and all simians I may have offended with that remark. I am truly sorry.”

“How come monkeys can invade a school and slap girls but when I did it I had to flee Bengal?”

“Ummm, you're not good enough to be a monkey?”

“Is that an insult from a nation that reveres cows?”

“Well if you're not good enough to be a monkey, how would you ever expect to be good enough to be a cow?”

“Good point. I want to be reincarnated as a Bengalese monkey!”

“Mmmm. Guavas. Yum.”

“Too bad Charlie Manson didn't get a job with The Monkees.”

“This takes thread degeneration to a new (low) level.”

“sometimes it pays to be a gorrilla”

“ROFLMFAO!”

“eeeek, i'm nude!!”

“The artist Walton Ford speaking of Sir Richard Burton (not the actor...):

“His language studies continued unabated and his interest in the science of the spoken word led him to conduct an interestin experiment with some pet monkeys. Curious as to whether primates used some form of speech to communicate, he gathered together forty monkeys of various ages and species and installed them in his house in an attempt to compile a vocabulary of monkey language. He learned to imitate their sounds, repeating them over and over. And he believed they understood some of them. Each monkey had a name, Isabel, his wife, explained. He had his doctor, his chaplain, his secretary, his aide-de-camp, his agent, and one tiny one, very pretty, small and silky looking monkey he used to call his wife and put pearls in her ears. His great amusement was to keep a kind of refectory for them where they all sat down on chairs at mealtimes and the servants waited on them and each had its bowl and plate with the food and drink proper for them. He sat at the head of the table and the pretty little monkey sat by him in a baby’s high chair.”

PBS.org / art:21 / Walton Ford”

“I'll bet lyra does that too.”

“Check out the monkey paintings..... they're grrrrrrrrreat!”

“Tiltypoo, where have you been all my life? you've been forsaking TT! i've always wanted some highchairs for the monkeys...shhhhh, don't tell anyone.

hmmm, pizza and monkeys are my two favorite things in the world, but not exactly in that form...

why don't YOU eat it, Violin!!! :-)”

“Does anyone know what monkey tastes like? perhaps Lyra knows?”