A woman's point of view....

“Written by a woman:
> > We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years
> > old, only to find that
> > anything coming in contact with those tender,
> > blooming buds hurts so bad it
> > brings us to tears.
> >
> > Enter... the almighty, uncomfortable training bra
> > contraption the boys in
> > school will snap until we have calluses on our
> > backs.
> >
> > Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens
> > (or sooner). Along with
> > those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get
> > the hormone crankies,
> > have to wear little mattresses between our legs or
> > insert tubular, packed
> > cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
> >
> > Our next little rite of passage is having sex for
> > the first time which is
> > about as much fun as having a ramrod push your
> > uterus through your nostrils,
> > leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
> >
> > Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live
> > on dry crackers and water
> > for a few months so we don't spend the entire day
> > leaning over Brother John.
> >
> > Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we
> > are), we learn to live ith
> > the growing little angels inside us steadily
> > kicking our innards night and
> > day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's
> > Baby.
> >
> > Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a
> > watermelon whole and we
> > pee our pants every time we sneeze.
> >
> > When the big moment arrives, the dam inside our
> > blessed Nether Regions will
> > invariably burst right in the middle of the mall
> > and we'll waddle with our
> > big cartoon feet, moaning in pain,all the way to
> > the ER.
> >
> > Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB
> > says, "Please stop
> > screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push.
> > Just one more good push (or 10)"
> > warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to
> > punch the jerk (and hubby)
> > square in the nose for making us cram awiggling,
> > mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling
> > ball out through a keyhole!
> >
> > After that, it's time to raise those angels...only
> > to find that when all
> > that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings
> > morph into walking,
> > jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking
> > little poop mchines.
> >
> > And....The teen years. Need I say more?
> >
> > The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our
> > voracious sexual prime
> > in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his
> > somewhere around
> > his 18th birthday.
> >
> > Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause", the
> > Grandmother of all
> > womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance
> > cancer in those now seasoned "buds"
> > or the aforementioned "Nether Regions," or sweat
> > like a hog in July, wash
> > your sheets and pillowcases daily, and bite the
> > head off anything that moves.
> >
> > So, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful
> > than men, when men get off
> > so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's
> > cake....being able to pee in the woods
> > without soaking their socks...?
> >
> > Now, I love being a woman, but "Womanhood" would
> > make the Great Gandhi a
> > tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah
> > right.......Bite me!
> >”

“We would get off easier if y'all could stop beeotchin. :p”

“I didn't write this!!!!.........I'm glad I'm a woman :)”

“Ahhhh. I was going to ask you "what man put you through what hell?" Friend of yours?”

“being able to pee in the woods
> > without soaking their socks...?

I must admit....I sure wish I could accomplish this......maybe with some practice......”

“Take your socks off, duh! :D”

“duh...silly me.....lol.....”

“yeah, but why are they all so EEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!?”

“lean up against a tree div.”

“Yay, Div! I love ya, girl!!!!”

“what ya mean? You all pee on your socks??? dang...I'm good!!”

“That's what's wrong when we gave women the right to vote....they start having "points of view".

Go get me a beer.... :o)”

“Lookin out on the morning rain
(Ah - ooo)
I used to feel so uninspired
(Ah - ooo)
And when I knew I had to face another day
(Ah - ooo)
Lord it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you
Life was so unkind
But your love the key to my piece of mind

Cause you make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel
Like a natural woman (woman)

When my soul was in the lost and found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful
Of what I'm livin' for
And if I make you happy
I don't need to do more

Cause you make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel like a natural woman (woman)

Oh baby what you done to me!
(What you done to me!)
You make me feel so good inside
(Good inside)
And I just wanna be
(Wanna be)
Close to you
You make me feel so alive

You make me feel
You make me feel
You make me feel like a natural woman (woman)

You make me feel (hey)
You make me feel
You make me feel like a natural woman (woman)
FADES -
You make me feel (hey)
You make me feel...”

“Thank-you, Aretha Franklin!”

“(Ah - ooo)!”

“Mental picture of Bobo in a shimmery Aretha sequin dress prancin around on stage singing that darn song.”

“Evil?!!! Jeez strat....you're really showing your ass. Mysogynist too.”

“Actually, Carole King wrote "Natural Woman."”

“a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils,

Does not sound like one-inch-wang's partner”

“From that email, it looks like it ain't no fun on the other side of the fence. I don't understand why you guys just don't end it after yer twenties.....







I'M KIDDING!

I think that it's great that after thousands of years, women are now gettin` the repect they deserve. It's been a mans world for far too long, let's have the ladies take a shot!”

“let's have the ladies take a shot!"
laqtis
09:39:22 AM
06/09/04


or 2 or 3 shots...

candy is dandy
but liquor is quicker”

“Get over your self-hatred.”

“goot one, manuka!”

“"goot" slipping into your Gropenfuehrer persona ??”

“Sorry, nope. I'm not him. I did a show with some Orthodox Jews a couple of months ago and one of the charaters was a eastern Euro Jew with a heavy accent. "Goot" kinda stuck after that.

I think "Gropenfuehrer" was exposed already?”

“This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark

This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys
Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys
And after man has made everything, everything he can
You know that man makes money to buy from other man

This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness”

“I had a GF who could pee her name in the snow. God I should have married her!”

“Wow, you women really are victims.

No wonder so many of you lead bitter lives poisoned by hatred of men.

;-)”

“I don't pee on my socks. are you peeing in the wind, Div?”

“I hear your pain, but have you ever zipped up a foreskin?”

“Mental picture of Bobo in a shimmery Aretha sequin dress prancin around on stage singing that darn song."
ScorchFire
05:45:21 AM
06/09/04.


LOL..hahahahahahaahahaha”

“You can get them with zippers in them?”

“"I hear your pain, but have you ever zipped up a foreskin?"
Snake Eyes
02:32:22 PM
06/09/04

no but I can relate after having 3 breast fed children......cracking...bleeding....and the child still having to be fed.........

( but in the long run it was wonderful...to finally cradle the little thing you carried and caressed while in your belly, in your arms....touch their little faces and hold their tiny hands while they nurse.....a joy only a woman will ever know....all the pain of being a woman is worth it....)”

“LMAO BIT.......LOL>.hahahahaha”

“we all winced at SE's last post.....”

“Hey, they only reason us guys can't hold their little hands while they nurse is because one hand is holding the kid and the other hand is holding the bottle...”

“when my son was getting potty trained, he lifted the lid.

the lid did not stay lifted.

OUCH

poor little guy, as his mom I didint know what to do.”

“Just as long as you didn't...


...no I can't...”

“LOL

im a mom, but not that kind of MOM.”

“I remember in grade school an incident in the boys bathroom. They carried the kid out screaming and we were all wondering what the heck happened. I can't remember who told us but it came out that he zipped his wee-wee up in his pants. Course being the naive 6 year old I was, I was almost sure he'd cut it off.”

“Shades of "There's Something About Mary"!”

“Just ask this guy!!
”

“lol, good find, Aero!”

“I took up nursing in college but it only lasted for about a week, cause my teets started killing me!”

“did you wear the Aretha dress????”

“(Ah - ooo)!”

“






”

“My wife’s cousin zipped his junk in his zipper and ended up going to the hospital for stitches.

He made his mother promise not to tell anyone.

Little does he know, we all call him “Frankenweinie” behind his back.”

“I loved the Movie "Frankenweinie"!!!”

“Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cos I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.

So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.”