Bizarre Movie Premises

“What's the deal with this movie "White Chicks"? The Wayans Bros. look like two Michael Jackson clones with blonde wigs --”

“Garbage in garbage out.”

“Hey, I liked 'In Living Color'.... <G>”

“I always liked the skit, "In this old box."

Uhh sir, would you like to cut the turkey.

Don't mind if I do, I've already cut the cheese.”

“That WAS a pickle in that jar....... wasn't it?”

“This Old Box was a F----in` classic!”

“I WAS a pickle. That was a good skit too.


Ova heauh, we have the bathroom.

Look heauh is the toilet ”

“Oops, IT WAS....”

“I could see the idea behind White Chicks being a funny skit, but not as a movie.”

“Modern movie-making works like this:

1) Come up with a premise that you can make a good trailer around. If it's a comedy, show all the funny stuff in the movie in the trailer. If it's a disaster film, show all your great effects in the trailer.

2) Saturate the media with your trailer, stars doing interviews about the movie, paid reviewers saying how funny it is, etc.

3) Open on as many screens as you possibly can the first weekend, so that people who liked the trailer can get in to see the movie before word-of-mouth gets out.

4) Laugh all the way to the bank as you count your money, which has been cleverly hidden by standard "Hollywood accounting" tricks that show you made no profit on your bomb.

Very simple. Oh, and you should actually make a movie in there somewhere, not sure where that step goes.”

“Bit you forgot step 0.5:

Copy idea from an existing movie or television show.”

“Men on Sports! Or David Allen Greer as the old blues guy. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go...

I thought Living Color was hysterical. It ranks right up there with The Simpsons and South Park for me, and just below Monty Python's Flying Circus.

I'll probably wait for this one to come out on dvd.


Want bizarre movie premises? Check out Liquid Sky, Eraserhead, or Nakid Lunch. Good golly Miss Molly!!!”

“Steely Dan Strikes From Afar ---”

““So ya think you’re pretty smart there don’tcha? WELL LEMME SHOW YA SOMETHING! Let’s say you’re hanging your autographed pitcher of Chubaka and you accidentally nail through a nitro line and you freeze your hand solid and then hit it with a hammer shattering it! What are ya gonna do then?”

-Fire Marshall Bill

I loved the one where Jim Carry was playing Bush Sr. in a dinner eatting soup and he asks the waitress, "Do you serve crackers?"..."Oh sure baby! We serve everybody up in here!".

Best show sense Dave Chapelle came along..."I'm Rick James bltch!". Anyone see his skit about what would happen if slave reperations actually happened? I was pissing my pants!”

“I thought Fire Marshall Bill would be a big hit as a Halloween character.... might piss off the bar manager or homeowner when the pyrotechnics started, tho'...


Dave Chappelle will be live at the Township Auditorium in Columbia SC in a couple of weeks ---

I'll be on the lookout for the Reparations sketch. After seeing the one about the blind black KKK dude... There's no telling what that guy will come up with next.”

“They start with a news report from the street the day the checks are sent out and there’s a line around the block at the liquor store. Then this Kool cigarette truck comes by and the lady asks the black truck driver if he was going to quit being a truck driver now that his check came in, “Truck driver? I’m a janitor. I just bought all these cigarettes. I got enough smokes to last me and my family the rest of our lives beeatch! [HONK HONK]”. Then it kind of goes down hill from there with a report from Wallstreet about KFC and Fubu stock going through the roof.”