mean spirited political jokes

“Ugly?

”

“She does bear a striking resemblance to miss piggy.”

“Ugly? - Violin

How about "cosmetically challenged"?”

“What do ya get when you cross a Nixon with a potato?





A Dick Tater”

“OF course we all know what really happened to Buddy the Lab ...the story was he ran out in front of a car..the truth was he jumped up on Hillarys lap and froze to death.”

“
Q: What do you get when you cross a liberal with a progressive?
















A: An abortion.”

“Ronnie Reagan was at a function with then mayor Marion Berry and thought he'd ask a little sex advice.

Berry tells him that before he gets into bed he raps his ding-a-ling against the bedpost a couple of times to get things goin'.

Later that night Ronnie is prepared for bed and decides to whoop it out and take Berry's advice.

"Whap-Whap!"

sez Nancy, "Marion, is that you?"”

“Here's something fascinating. Honda has announced it's developed technology that links a person's thoughts to a machine. It uses brain signals to control a robot's movements, to which Al Gore said, "Been there, done that." - Jay Leno”

“

I know, I know....a bad joke played on the whole country.
last edited: 6/08/06 9:57:07 AM”

“Way to hose the thread Noobie.”

“What can I say? The man is larger than life!”

“The Alfred E. likeness shines.”

“It ain't so funny anymore.”

“Ha Ha
Thread Hoser
DORK!”

“Hey kleeth, lear to re-size your images, dumb ass.”

“hey, chadnsc, learn to go phuck yourself.”

“bump for cats”

“A Special Birthday This Week.

Can you believe it? Monica Lewinsky turned 31 this week. It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees.



They grow up so fast.”

“NON...didn't she move up to NY and get even LARGER?”

“i've always felt that america would have been much more forgiving if she'd been half way decent looking- or at least had a nice ass”

“She gots a world wide ass?”

“Yep, I know what you're saying sacco.....kinda like those hot-looking teacher babes that have been doing their male students.”

“wondering if Bill smoked that cigar”

“She committed the only major sin, she ran counter to the MACHINE. When the MACHINE says you may damage it...YOU are as good as dead.”

““i've always felt that america would have been much more forgiving if she'd been half way decent looking- or at least had a nice ass”
sacco
8:13:24 AM
6/26/06

I keep saying, JFK's image was less tarnished, because he had real affairs with real women.

Clinton had this half way sex with a powerless, confused kid.

"It is not your sin, but your mediocrity in sinning that cries to Heaven." Nietzsche”

“XL - That makes no sense whatsoever.”

“Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily
briefing. He concludes by saying "Yesterday, three
Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"

"OH NO!" the President exclaims."That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion,
nervously watching as Bush sits, head in hands.

Finally the President looks up and asks.........."How
many is a Brazillion?"”

“Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while hewas stabbing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to discuss it with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus. It's all Bush's fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer: BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Git-r-Dun Dad! Can I shoot the next one?!"
Wife: "You aren't taking that to the taxidermist!"”

“LOL....Take em down with a couple center of mass shots....then grab them by the Hair lift them up and administer the coup-de-grace.”

“Only it turned out it wasn't an Islamic terrorist, it was a Hindu student, from India. And it wasn't a knife, but a mobile phone, and he hadn't been praising allah, just asking for directions to the pharmacist to pick up his asthema medication.
last edited: 7/06/06 12:44:38 PM”

“Y2 would fit right in at Democratic Underground.
[BG]”

“I must have been born in the south.”

“It is dark, he raises an item that looks like a WEAPON, screaming obscenities he runs at you. (Hindus don't praise Allah I guess you know)

Deadly force: three factors necessary


According to Stephen P. Wenger’s book, Defensive Use of Firearms, several factors must be present for someone to claim they were in direct fear for their life or safety.


The first, Wegner writes, is that an assailant must have the ability to cause harm through the use of a weapon, professional fighting skills or even taking part in a group attack. Secondly, the assailant must have access to your person, meaning they cannot be threatening you from some location where they cannot immediately reach you.


Lastly, an assailant must be behaving in such a way that a reasonable person, at the time of an assault, would conclude he was in imminent jeopardy.

http://www.doverpost.com/PostArchives/03-09-05/pages/newforce.html[/b][/i]

Y2 in the above case you satisfy all three. It is dark, the subject raised what LOOKED like a weapon and rushed you screaming ....in your case...I think the best Offical Comment to the Hindu guy would be...'Dude, sucks to be you."”

““I must have been born in the south.”
Wounded Knee
2:24:50 PM
7/06/06

So must have I. Then again there are people in my town that have Confederate flags painted on the tailgate of their trucks. Maybe be I’ve lived in the South all along and didn’t even know it.
last edited: 7/06/06 1:35:11 PM”

“The latest mean-spirited political joke to come into focus is..... (drumroll, please).....

David Addington

(more?)


Happy trails....
”

“Hey, look what 'mean spirited political joke' just showed up!
[VBG]”

“

Been copying my HTML habits?

LOL”

“Happy trails....
LOL
last edited: 7/06/06 1:37:43 PM”

“

Check out the article.... {GRIN]

Be forewarned; it is kinda long... Dave is a busy guy and has his fingers in everything.




JEEeeeeez..... How many 'close italics' doodads is it going to take?


last edited: 7/06/06 1:40:04 PM”

“Oh I'm sorry boys, did I dare question your dumb joke?

XL - this is the south we're talking about, they won't need all those details to declare it self-defence. ;op”

““Only it turned out it wasn't an Islamic terrorist, it was a Hindu student, from India. And it wasn't a knife, but a mobile phone, and he hadn't been praising allah, just asking for directions to the pharmacist to pick up his asthema medication."

HAHA! Now that's funny! Good one Y2.”

“yes he was shouting 'Asthema Asthema' and not 'Alah Akbar' ;o)”

“XL - this is the south we're talking about, they won't need all those details to declare it self-defence. ;op”
Y2
3:43:00 PM
7/06/06


Well isn't that an enlightened statement (LOL)...as a matter of fact that IS the policy of deadly force used in the South. I am sure in the CIVIL north there aren't real threats that self protection is needed....unless some loon grabs two poersaws and cuts a guys chest open...but then that WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN THE ENLIGHTEND YANKEE LAND>”

“I just don't get the whole southern redneck stereo type. People in the south are some of the best people you'll ever find. Even the shirtless, tattooed Jerry Springer types are nice.”

“Nigal, thanks, I have lived here in the Southeast for most of my life. I have had a car break down an hour or so from Atlanta. Limped in this backwoods gas station and the guy on duty (Deliverance the Later Years) looks at the car asks me where I am headed ( I was in a suit and tie in the middle of Summer). I explained I had a speech to deliver he tells me it will be at LEAST two hours to fix the car. Then he throws me the keys to his pickup. It was full of gas, told me he lived with his family behind the store.
I returned 6 hours later, he had the car ready I refilled the gas tank and he REFUSED to take any money for the use of the Truck.

Please show me that in say...Downtown Boston”

“How come republicans never get convicted of anything?






They all have the same DNA, and none of them have any dental records.”

“I went into this breakfast place down south called Waffle House and when I walked in every single waitress and cook turned around and said, "Good morning!".

LOL!”

“I walked into a diner in the civilized NORTH and I said, "Good Morning" ...every cook and waitress turned and said to me,"WHAT thu F#^k is it to ya?"
last edited: 7/07/06 8:17:54 AM”