News Flash: Prosecutor for Senate

“Former NFL coach Mike Ditka said he won't run for the U.S. Senate, leaving Republicans scrambling for a candidate as a challenger against Democrat Barack Obama since the winner of the GOP primary, investment banker Jack Ryan, dropped out following embarrassing sex club allegations.

"There was a moment when I said, God, I'd like to take this and run with it, and then I said, you know, put your head on straight and think about what you're getting into," Ditka said.
Ditka enthusiasm among Republicans had been building for the last two days as the former coach mulled the possibility of a late-blooming political career.

Now the party is turning to one of their long time supporters, and well known activists, Prosecutor. Prosecutor jumped at the opportunity. “I always knew it would come to this,” he stated.

Prosecutor, who recently retired, had devoted his time to cooking and backpacking. While eager to enter the political arena, he was obviously tearful about the trail time he would be missing. He declared a platform of two items, homeland security and wilderness preservation.

Many Trail Talk people were just as exited about Prosecutor’s decision, thinking it would boost attention to wilderness and trail issues.

Some weren’t so sure, however. They thought the increased attention to trail issues would only increase congestion of some already overcrowded trails. And on a personal note, his closest hiking friends said bluntly, “I am going to miss his taquitos.””

“How can he throw his hat in the ring if BP2go never gave him one?”

“Hell, even I'd vote for Prosecutor!”