More News of the Weird

“Woman, 39, assaulted with three-foot alligator

By Alicia A. Caldwell
Orlando Sentinel
Posted July 17 2004

PORT ORANGE · A 41-year-old man fighting with his girlfriend Friday morning grabbed the 3-foot alligator he was keeping in the bathtub and swung it at her, police said.

(click on headline for more)



So many possible punchlines; so little time!!

"It's a do-it-yourself alligator handbag kit!"

"We were wondering why they hadn't bathed in a while...."

"I suppose there's no law on the books about carrying a concealed alligator..."

"Is that an alligator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"”

“I saw something about that on the news this morning.

I guess she wouldnt give him some of that snapper so he gave her some!!LOL”

“The paper said the cops didn't know Which End of the alligator he swung at her... LOLOL

I'd say that makes a pretty big difference --- though I hear getting whacked by the tail can hurt like hell too!”

“Speaking of tabloid news, I was just working on a list of musical terms and it looks like Fuoco means "fire" in Italian.

So Joey Buttafuoco had worse problems than we thought, LOL”

“You sayin' Joey had a hot tail?”

“I dunno... Does this mean we have to loop back to one of Mike's Burnin' Ring of Fire threads?”