Dating Tips

“I liked Seinfeld a lot .. .but was not a regular viewer until it was too late.


I did, hwever, see the episode where Elaine "yada yada ed" over sex.


Wait . ..I found the script:


George: Listen to this. Marcy comes up and she tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night, and "yada yada yada, I'm really tired today." You don't think she yada yada'd sex.

Elaine: (Raising hand) I've yada yada'd sex.

George: Really?

Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisk, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.

Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part.

Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisk.”

“Elaine's tone of voice and facial expression during that exchange is hilarious.”

“oh man, this just keeps getting better.

oohhhh ccaarrllleeetttteee.

i see you enjoy my ggrrrrr line.

i'm just the man for you. our first date can be cutting down a tree in your yard (i'm a pro). i'll do it for you, or show you how so you will be more prepared in the future. your choice.

ggrrrrrrrrrr, first date, chainsaws and just a trunk. and a blind date at that.

i think i might go do some spot welding. be back in a while.”

“You don't often see the words "blind date", "trunk" and "chainsaw" combined for the ideal first date huh?”

“Maybe if you're Ed Gein.”

“I'm spooked.”

“Did the Dahmer's have a second child?”

“Who is this bag boy? I just got back from Food Lion..while standing in line I pondered who it may be.”

“Who are the candidates Carlette?”

“or should I say suspects?”

“candidates for what? Cutting down my tree?”

“For cutting any of your limbs.”

“who you think it is?”

“I don't know....

plus da bag boy just *poof* shows up then disappears when I actually post.

HEY BAG BOY...go ahead and have at the tree I'm tired of figuring out if I can cut it down or not.”

“Speaking of chains and whatnot .. .


I still like my idea of a dinner date to a BDSM dungeon.


At least you'd know where theings stood.”

“Good for you IJ! If my wife left me now, I would not know where to begin.

Perhaps I could troll the "other site" and impress newbie chicks with images of knee gravy?”

“Lee, what is that? For us'n kuntry folk here”

“Imagine a date with Bearmagnet Lizs.”

““Lee, what is that? For us'n kuntry folk here”
lizs
3:12:09 PM
7/22/05

lizs, do a Goggle Image search.
Be sure to turn off all filtering. LOL”

“It may take Lizs a little while to come back from the trip she's on!”

“I think I heard a BIG "Eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk" from towards IA/MN. ;-)”

“am NOT googling that, you creeps!!!

>8-O”

“I think we have been set up, lee.
lizsbaby is what, in her late 30s/early 40s? No one is that naive in today's world, even in the cornfields of Iowa. LOL”

“I bet she does goggle it tonight, away from work, LOL.”

“From what I can tell .. ..that stuff all goes on OUT there.

Sure, the folks in NYC dress funny, and have piercing and all . . ..but that is their public life . .not much else goes on.



Its edith and martha, and ethel, and betsy sue (and lizs?) down on the farm with nothing better to do. They dress in gingham during the day and get out the whips at night.”

“I'm going to back slowly away from this thread......

lizsbaby might pick you some REAL Dating tips from visiting those sites. ;-)”

“Desperate Housewives was pretty hilarious when it dealth with this stuff.”

“When CSI did it, it was a little more serious. And not just because someone died.”

“There are too many posts to read, so just let me say if it hasn't been said, don't bring up marriage on the first date. Men shouldn't do it eiher. No one likes a person who is too clingy usually.”

“Right. I know it's really a bummer for the girls I date when I tell them right off the bat that I'm married.

Save it for the fifth or sixth date.”

“bit, why tell them at all that you are married. Just start treating them like crap on the 5th or 6th date and they will leave on their own, that is unless you get one with a real low self-esteem, lol:)”

“as treating a woman meanly has never been successful for a guy.”

“Oh you boys just have no idea what happens in the heartland. phhhht!”

“Oh come on now.

I'm pretty sure lizsbaby would never marry a cow.

She might have a cow, but that's another thing.”

“You'll have to show me someday Lizs ;o)”

“You all keep having fun without me.


(BTW NonCon, it was supposed to be snow shoeing guy. But I like the idea of showing my shoes as well.)
last edited: 7/22/05 5:21:59 PM”

“Yes, I've seen your shoe posts! LOL.”

“ok so what tips did I miss? must I read?....”

“D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink f! or single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.


M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ..Can we get naked now?.

BUYAGRA
Injec table stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him”

“Carlette, that's an easy question. TT men tips for dating are "get naked".”

“Wanna get out of a date?

Don't do this...”

“LMAO!”

“Was the attack hypothetical?
last edited: 10/07/05 5:23:33 PM”

“How much you wanna bet the guy still wants her back after the drama?????

ROTFLMAO”

“seems a pretty good indication that she's not interested.”

“she should of used just one of the above, not all!”

“dork”