Old Married Farts

“I would like to hearby open this club and simultaneously invite Opie for the begining. I'm a bit too wrecked (drunk), to state the charter and rules for now, however.”

“I am 53 an married for over than 26 years. That should qualify me for at least a position as an officer of the club.”

“uh.. wait a minute, wrong thread.”

“I move that we invite Fritz to join us in the drowning of our sorrows.

Cheers!”

“I'm not really old, but I've been married 10 years as of 8/6/04. My wife and I have been together since I was in the 11th grade and are hitting about 15.5 years together. We're getting close to being together half my life.”

“thats pretty cool dayhiker!”

“Thanks, we think so.”

“I'll be married 23 years in November.

I fart in your general direction......salut!”

“MarkO - I fart in your specific direction!”

“Ah!!!

Men are such pigs!!

Viva el Puerco!!”

“ok guys..scorch has posted on 456 threads hints that her and batman luke are getting married soon.”

“if only I could join your thread....alas, it will be at least another year....”

“OPIE - scorchie isn't exactly hinting.”

“SG's getting HITCHED! WOOOOO_HOOOOO! =D

Have ya started looking at rings yet?!


Okay, hitched 8 years, co-habitating 11, best friends for 16. I was wondering what the smell was everywhere I went. Apparently I'm turning into an old fart.”

“Good point Sass, I left out the most important one. Best friends for 15 too.”

“Girls fart?”

“Um, well, yes, maybe we have, but the ring won't come for another year, I'm guessing. I keep telling myself that all good things come in time. Ug, I hate being patient!!”

“I'm available for secret trysts anytime. Just don't tell my wife of 21 years.”

“I just turned 57, married 34 years. Fart? let me just say growing old has at least one downside.”

“Of course not MarkO. I was just joking. ;) No farting, no burping and never ever do we get the hic-ups! We're all just like Princess Dianna.”

“bitpusher, reportin' for duty!”

“Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.”

“I think there is enough gas in Sass' house without her farting and burping. She is married to Birch, after all. ;)”

“Burp and Gassafras?”

“A farting Birch? Must be why it burns so well.”

“After years of my wife declaring that she "doesn't fart", I was walking around the corner of the living room towards the kitchen when I heard "it"...

pffffttt!

If I didn't hear it with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed it. Women DO fart and it DIDN'T smell like a rose!”

“I can officially say I don't fit into that mold anymore. I am now just an old single fart.”

“I’ll be celebrating my 15th next month. It’s been the best years of my life. But I’m not old being just 34.95, er, 35 I mean. We are like the old couple that doesn't even have speak to know what the other is thinking or wanting to say.”

“Say it with roses, I mean farts.”

“Nigal has your relationship moved to hallway sex yet?”

“Hallway sex? Is that where she makes me wait in the hall until she's done?”

“No it's where you pass each other in the hallway and say "f*** you!"”

“LOL! Our pet names for each other are "bltch" and "prlck".”

“Our 15th is comin' up next May. Being an avid runner, I think it was meant to be. After all, we were married on the 36th anniversary of when Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile! And I'm almost 43 - is that old?”

“Yes, Bowlderman it is damn old. If your have to attend a graveside service for a deceased acquaintance there really isn't much point to you going home. J/k...I'm 59.5 and 13 days.”

“Dang! Couchtater beat me by one year on both counts!

33 years married to my best friend.”

“My hubby (Thinkbubelz) & I have been married 12 years as of 09/05/04... :-) We met 3 days after starting college--got married about 20 days short of 7 years later...

We've known each other for 19 years now.. and are 37. so MORE than 1/2 of our lives...

To top it off-- he was my first (and only boyfriend... :-) ) AND we when we were engaged, we found out that we were baptized on the same day!!!

We are the best of friends!”

“Thanks a lot, snake!”

“some guy named treebeard is stalking me!”

“Where is One Inch Wang when you need him?”

“Well I'm married (8 yrs) and I fart (plenty) but at 44 I look younger than a lot of 35 year olds.

Do I qualify?”

“Up yours, pal!”

“I freed both of mine as soon as I sobered up!”

“One Inch Wang busy at moment.

He said something about doing some new exercises. He call them boner push-ups.

Hey! I alway say better to be pissed off then pissed on.”

“Were y'all farts to start with? Do single farts only marry other farts and become newly married farts first?

Or can one convert to fartdom?”

“Bearmagnet, you'll know you've become an old fart when a younger driver cuts you off in traffic, and the first thing you say "Damn crazy kids, they oughta raise the driving age to 18!"”

“Nothing shows yer love to your spouse more than saying "Danm. I can't believe I've been tappin` the same ass for almost 8 years now!".

I just smiled!







I'm kidding...I was me that said it, but in jest. My wife is tops above all!

I've said it once and I'll say it again:

She's the breastest!”

“Married 23 years as of August 15, 2004, and have been together for 29 years, since the 9th grade.”

“Johnny Pissoff, are you sure you ain't the ghost of Johnny Ramone?”

“Married 35 years this September 27th.

If it wasnt for my wife, I would be dead or in jail by now....hell, about 20 years ago.

We're actually getting along better now then ever. Do it right and it just gets better.

Shame it took me 56 years to figure that out.”