When flowers aren't enough...

“Flowers and Dinner Must Not Have Been Enough

EDMOND, Okla. (AP) — A man staged a fake home invasion so he could impress his wife by chasing off the supposed bad guys, police said.

On Monday night, a 27-year-old man and his 31-year-old wife reported that two males in ski masks broke into the house, bound her hands with duct tape and put her in the bathroom.

The man was not home at the time.

He told police he came home and scared the men away, hitting one of them with a two-by-four.

Police spokeswoman Glynda Chu said the invaders were a juvenile and an 18-year-old man, who had been told it was a practical joke by the woman's husband.

One told his parents what happened, and they notified police.

Chu said the homeowner told police it was a hoax when he was questioned Tuesday. He told police he was trying to convince his wife he was a hero, and had asked the two teenagers to stage the break-in, police said.

No arrests were made and police did not release the names of the people involved.

Fourth story down”

“Don't think he will be getting any tonight.”

“That's an understatement.

As long as "any" doesn't mean "An earful of shyte from his wife".”

“or a rolling pin upside the head.”

“Opie, you were correct.”