Random thoughts for the day

“1. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It make's the neighbor's
dog
run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

2. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

3. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

4. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

5. A penny saved is a government oversight.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. He who hesitates is probably right.

8. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

9. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
blame.

10. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
he's
really in trouble.

11. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

12. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!

13. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

14. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

15. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way,
if
he gets mad, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.

16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to
a
garage makes you a mechanic.

17. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

18. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

20. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

21. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

22. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

23. If you look like your passport photo, you probably need the trip.

24. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

25. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it”

“"Kids, you tried your hardest, and you failed miserably. The moral of the story is...never try..."
-Homer Simpson”

“The early bird might catch the worm, but it's the late worm that doesn't get eaten.”

“Hard work will pay off in the end

But procrastination pays off immediately”

“Ice cream”

“I introduced my 1-year-old daughter to a lady bug the other day. She watched in facination as it crawled across her hand and then up her arm....it was something new...something exciting..

..and then, in her awe and excitment she reached to pick the litte bugger up and crushed him by mistake..

...and I wondered how this relates to other things in life...”

“Hey, at least she didn't eat it. We went through that phase.”

“My brother did that with a duckling, so count yourself lucky, IJ.”

“bit-- eating it or squashing it?”

“..my thought here was that maybe we as adults are sometimes guilty of the same thing. We see something we like and we jump on it and suck the life out of it or damage it before we take the time to see how delicate it really is. This could apply to a lot of things, relationships, nature, careers etc..

anyway, i was just blabbering”

“And was it cooked duck?”

“.....That's deep Indiana.....”

“When looking at the world through a child's eyes,
We see the beauty, un-marred by disillusionment.
The windows through which we perceive the world are crystal clear,
Not yet clouded by harsh judgements and biased opinions.

Each new day embarked upon becomes an enlightning adventure,
With all of nature bringing its wonders to thrill the watching eye.
A time of learning and discovery of the simplistic things in life,
Taking time to nourish all those feelings and storing them for future recall.

--Julie Grace”

“Um, both.”

“Why is it that we will let a lady bug crawl on us and accept it as a nice creature, but if it were an ant or waterbug, we would not feel the same when a bug is bug? It must have to do with the coloring.”

“lh - Do you mean waterbug or "waterbug"?

We see something we like and we jump on it and suck the life out of it
Indiana John
4:30:34 PM
12/14/04

Sorry, sometimes I can't help but think with my other head.”

“wow...you guys have really trashed this thread!!!!”

“You oughta go read the movie rental thread. Now THAT thread has been trashed!”

“Has anyone figured out how to shoot blasters at right angles to reality?”

“Indiana...aren't children wonderous creatures????.....they see life as an adventure....and everything is magical.....we adults get so busy with life, we forget to live.....and enjoy.....”

“But It wasn't my fault!”

“Bear, waterbugs are those big black bugs. I don't know if they are the same as what's in Florida. Those are called palmetto bugs.

That's what Indiana Jones should have his kid hold. They are more sturdy than ladybugs, lol:)”

“You can't spell slaughter without laughter”

“Everyone should check out the Rockies before we loose them to tourism.”

“no, they should all stay away so i can have them to myself

mwhahahahaha!”

“Reality is an illusion.”

“illusions are real”

“If we didn't really exist, how would we know?”

“Since down is so light, why isn't it called called up?”

“M.C. Escher smoked a pipe.”

“Pop a wheelie.”

“you posted this on another thread. it wasn't funny in the prior context and it's not funny in this one. the fact that you intentionally dug this picture up is even more disturbing than the fact that you felt the need to share your find with other people.”

“Whatchu talk'n 'bout 'Willis?


last edited: 3/02/08 8:58:05 PM”

“
Something familiar, something peculiar
Something for everyone: a comedy tonight
Something appealing, something appalling
Something for everyone: a comedy tonight

      -- Sondheim

”

“As I watch Gorillas in the Mist, I am left hoping either the natives or the monkeys tear Sigorney a new one. Who does she think she is?”

“Oh man, ... just a moment later ...”

“Hey, you disgusting POS.   The pic you posted on this thread March 2nd is still there.”

“What about it? There's a water shortage and the guy is trying to wash his hair. Why do you hate reality? Maybe if we close our eyes it will all go away and we could sit around and smoke dope. You hippies need to stop closing your eyes to reality and get with the program. If you're so disgusted then why don't you stand up and do something about it instead of whining.”

“Hell yeah! Let's do something!

Lets start by raping the environment then move on to spending more to fight a war than we will ever spend on humanity!

Yeah!”

“woo hoo! That's the spirit chili!”

“$50.00 for a little platinum bowl?

ah carumba!”