Women and balloon tricks

“Last night after work (restaurant), a bunch of us hung out at the bar. It was "Redneck Thursday"; $1 PBR, Rocks, Busch, Beast, etc.

It was 3 straight guys, 1 straight women, 1 gay women, and the gay bartender when he had time.

We started talking about sex and how to get people off, what we like, and tricks.

Now, I have many years of experience and I will pat my ego when I say the lesbian was quite impressed with my knowledge/techniques and we were "comparing notes". Who better to speak to in regards to pleasing a women?

Then she shocked me by describing a technique I had never heard of! I was humbled.

it involves a ballon and the female vagina. She said it was guaranteed to drive women wild.

Anyone ever here of this?

Going to the store shortly for my new toys. Maybe I should have asked her if certain shapes work better than others?”

“ah-ha..I know who you are! eh eh eh,,just read this on,,drum roll..the other side..”

“Yes, I get "exposed" every other day at the least. Some things need to be shared for all.”

“Don't let bbw read this thread. He is liable to report you to the Bush administration for crimes against humanity.”

“anyway, back to the subject at hand..balloons, huh..anyone pulled one of those on me and I'd be laughing so hard the mood would be broken..I can see letting the air out slowly could make it interesting for some, however..are you gonna give away any clues?”

“I'm not sure, this could be a tightly held trade secret. Always love to show women a new thing. I mean, if I explain it here then Y2 & Bison get a hold of it and soon all of Metro DC knows about it.

It's quite simple, maybe that's why it can be overlooked?

Hmmmmmmmm. I just recalled one other variation I was not aware of involving pleasing a women. maybe I should explain it first?

In the meantime the ONE big conclusion we all agreed on was: Speak the Freak up Women! Tell your partners what you want! Most of mine have been very open but some haven't...that's why I'm still learning!”

“did you just call Y2 & Bison sluts?”

“Okay, I'm dense. What are you talking about?”

“LOL Lyra! maybe not sluts, how 'bout loudmouth drunkards? ;)

Balloon trick. Simplicity at it's best: You insert a slightly inflated balloon, and then blow into it at various degrees depending on the females personal preferences. The vibration of the balloon skin against the sensitive areas of the female, when done right, can result in orgasm.

Variation on oral technique: Both the straight and gay women agreed, a female in control, especially in regards to her legs and preferably on top is the best way to go. That wasn't news for me. The news was they both really liked it if they had a wall to press against during the act. Something to do with "support".

I have at least 3 good walls in my apt for this. Soon I'll have balloons. Before last night I was only worried about condoms and a full liquor cabinent! ;)”

“:X”

“there is also one trick involving a straw”

“OMG...I shouldnt be reading this lol Of my virgin eyes!”

“BM - ever heard of a headboard on a bed. Sheesh, amatuer.”

“Straw? maybe I should have titled this thread differently? Give up the straw!

BM - ever heard of a headboard on a bed. Sheesh, amatuer.”
dayhiker
11:08:42 AM
11/05/04

LMAO!!!!!!! Actually, I can't really think of a time when I was in a bed where the headboard was high enough for this. Nor a bed with the head against the wall?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
last edited: 11/05/04 10:11:19 AM”

“Sex education class for backpackers. This
could be a book in the making. Bearmagnet,
you got an agent ??”

“guess you haven't use the straw before, not something to give up”

“My agent needs to give ewker a working over!”

“Ewk breaks out the patented move concept. Didn't Seinfeld have an episode on this. One of them had, "The Move," and didn't want to give it up. Something about a twirl with a leg. Maybe it was George.”

“bm, ask your friend what she thinks about the "bullet"”

“She has several bullets that vibrate.
last edited: 11/05/04 10:17:38 AM”

““LOL Lyra! maybe not sluts, how 'bout loudmouth drunkards? ;)"

Most women I know prefer a little less talk and a little more action ;op

Anyhow, the really skilled can craft a balloon giraffe in the process ;o)”

“ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

I'll learn the giraffe trick with my hands cuffed behind my back, dammit!”

“LMFAO,,, you really like patting your ego dontcha BM. And for some reason the way you talk about it makes me believe you are half the man you say you are.

BTW,,what kind of women are you dating that you can insert a semi-inflated ballon it into and not ruin the moment?

I have a feeling you are all talk,, son.”

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, wolfeyes creates a "Bearmagnet" thread and now, I think this might be the first personal attack on me by a Troll! Both occuring on a Friday no less!

TT! I HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE ALL Y'ALL!!!!!

I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I imagine a balloon bursting "in" the aforementioned scenario could have DIRE consequences.”

“I'm pretty sure the balloon is never fully inflated or anywhere near capacity.

I wonder if any ladies here have had accidents involving "equipment failure"?”

“You may also want to ask about any allergies....of course, that may come up in a conversation about condoms anyway....”

“Good point, SG! I can't wear latex gloves for lab work.”

“somwhere in here there's a really funny joke about helium filled balloons and squeaky voices or something.

or maybe queefing and the farty sound of a balloon letting it's air out.

you people must not be trying hard enough. this topic is funnier than this thread so far - i just know it.”

“We were waiting for you, master. Show us the way, please. ;)”

“no, not me. i'm not a very funny guy. i'm ok at stealing jokes and taking credit for them, but really someone else has to think of them first.

so back to you bmag.”

“I can't speak for everywoman but I'd be willing to bet a plain old B.O.B would go over better than a balloon.”

“my motto: gotta try everything at least once :)”

“BOB?”

“sacco doesnt know BOB?”

“um... wouldn't a condom be pretty much the same as a balloon? I've seen them inflated and tossed about like balloons before...”

“ive used condoms as balloons before :)”

“Battery operated boyfriend aka: vibrater, dildo.”

“i knew what bob meant. i was just playin.”

“Bearmagnet realized his latest easy pickup was going to need something more substantial

(I hope this works)”

“he just wanted to see if he could someone to say dildo.”

“Imagination and variety are key to keeping sex great, Sas.

Now, on the balloon technique. This is coming from a lesbian with a plethora of toys, experience, and a live in partner of 2yrs.

For some reason I might take her word on this over anyone else and check it out.”

“I might have an answer. E-mail me.”

“I guess there's the issue of static build-up from the hair ;o)”

“I guess there's the issue of static build-up from the hair ;o)”
Y2
2:26:06 PM
11/05/04

Good idea. Wouldn't need batteries for an extra kick, eh?”

“I wish you luck in your, um, experiment, bearmagnet. I'd think the guy was a freak if he suggested the balloon thing.”

“LOL! Thanks and I'll try not to experiment too early on, K?”

“How about a compressor in the backyard and just run a hose with an airgun into the bedroom.

Forget about a wimpy baloon, have a blast.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/pump.htm”

“I thought there was a danger from air being blown into the cervix, maybe its an old wives tail.”

“OW! OW! OW!!!!!!”