Happy Crappy Christmas!

“So my wife comes home from Christmas shopping all excited and she says, “Look what I got for Uncle Earl!”. She pulls out one of those led flashlights that has no batteries but you sit there and crank it up with a little crank on the back. I took one look at it and said, “No. Anytime you need a flashlight is not a time when you want to sit there and crank something for minutes at a time and it sounds like a New Years cranker.”. She got all disappointed and said, “OK, I guess I’ll take yours back too then.”.

Shewww! Dodged a bullet there!


Anyone else have any near misses or not near misses?”

“"Fine then, you can do all the damn Christmas shopping ...."
last edited: 11/17/04 8:59:38 AM”

“way to early to be shopping for Christmas”

“How come I'm not surprised that Nigal has an Uncle named Earl?”

“He's actually my wife's uncle but he is so cool I claim him as my blood uncle. He lives up in Michigan I go up all the time to fish and kayak with him. He is the hardest damn man to buy for though. We normally get him a certificate to Cabelas which he loves. LOL!

My wife knows better than to trust me with all the shopping. I'm a Dec 24th shopper.”

“One christmas I was with the mistress under the mistletoe. Unfortunately the misses walked in.

Fortunatly, I was able to dodge the missiles my misses launched at me and the mistress.
last edited: 11/17/04 9:16:34 AM”

“LOL at Bearmagnet”

“Nigal, maybe your wife is telling you that you need to be better prepared for when the lights go out... :-)”

“One year my mother in law, knowing that I enjoy camping, decided she was going to buy me a new sleeping bag. Ugh! She bought one of those 8lb 40 degree bags that you'd probably freeze in at 60 degrees from Wally World or something. It rolled up small enough to just squeeze it in the back of my pathfinder LOL”

“Somewhere there's a thread for all the funny stuff that people who know "you're into camping" get you for presents...lol...”

“lmfao... Indiana John!”

“I got a stove stand for my duel burner stove for car camping once.”

“my mom inlaw got us a big fat queen sized inflatable air matress - since "we like to go camping and hiking and this way we don't have to sleep on the ground"

dam thing weighs 25lbs and uses an A.C. air pump!”

“All I want is a Super Sweedish Suregrip Suck Machine.”

“I usually wait until Xmas eve to do my shopping. Only the men are out and know exactly what they want, so there are not many lines and all the crazy women shoppers have already finished their shopping!

My parents got me an 8 lb backpacking tent for xmas one year. They have no clue....”

“all i want is love, peace and harmony on TT and in the world.”

“I like online shopping. No people, no lines, no traffic, and when I'm done I don't feel like killing anyone.”

““all i want is love, peace and harmony on TT and in the world.”
lee
12:18:49 PM
11/17/04

Hey Lee, all most men want is
some love,
a piece,
and a hummer

forget xmas, anytime.”

“Nice to see ya'll forgot what xmas is all about.

It's not about what kind of crappy, commercialistic gift you got in the past but about spreading joy and good will and cheer and all that.







In order to do that I would like a nekkid stripper under my tree.....or a bow laced stripper on my tree......or any hottie with or without a bow enjoying my tree.....
last edited: 11/17/04 12:31:06 PM”

“BM, which side of 300lbs do you like that nekkid stripper ??




Engineers - it is all about specifications -
last edited: 11/17/04 1:07:35 PM”

“About 200lbs shy would do nicely, thank you..


BTW - never seen and hope to never see a 300lb. stripper.”

“Hey, she might be kinda sexy, if she was 7 feet tall.”

“"Ugh! She bought one of those 8lb 40 degree bags that you'd probably freeze in at 60 degrees from Wally World or something."

What he said: Oh thank you so much!

What he was thinking: This is going in the first garage sale of the summer!!”

“I too prefer to shop on xmas eve. Haven't been able to do it for the last 3 years, though. I like to have a somewhat liquid lunch...then haphazardly roam through the stores. Those were the good ole days.”

“See, being socially-challenged gives me a leg up in this position.

Clueless giftgiver: Here, I got this for you!

Me: Thanks, but it's totally inappropriate for the kind of camping I do.

CG: (somewhat dismayed) Oh, really? I'm sorry...

Me: (ignoring their dismay) It's okay, I'm sure I can use it somehow. Maybe give it to a homeless person or something like that. It's better than nothing. Well, until it gets wet anyway. (laughing)

CG: (red-faced and almost angry) Oh, well, alright. I am sorry.

Me: No really, thank you. It's not like I don't already have a garage-full of crap. This'll just go on the pile. Say you don't still have the receipt, do you?

CG: No, sorry I don't. (thinking: and if I did, I wouldn't give it to you, a$$hole)

Me: Here I got you something too.

CG: Oh gee thanks, what is it?

Me: A breakdown on how much money you could be saving if you stopped wasting it on makeup. It's not helping, you know.

CG: (throws it back in my face and walks away)

Me: What did I do?”

“my sister bought me my first headlamp - it looks archaic compared to the ones I have now, but it was a nice gift!
The wool hat she bought the next year (I asked for one) wasn't so nice - it had a pom pom and ear things and was too fru fru for camping...”

“But on the other hand there are those rare times when you get blown away. Like when my buddy Larry bought me a SD Clipflashlight tent. WOW!”

“The ones I always just love to death are the ones where you get a little post card that says, "$20 has been donated to the [insert enviro-socialist group here].".

Um, gee thanks. What are ya gonna get me for my birthday? Maybe have a star named after me?”

“It is all in the expectation training.

I have taught my entire extended family that the ONLY things I appreciate are consumables.

- Get me a 1lb of good coffee and I am truly appreciative.

- A bottle of aged port (no not nighttrain) or Baileys IC and I am estatic.

This has worked, I heve received silver palate chocolate sauce (Mmmm), and a couple of years ago a 12oz lexan coffee press, but mostly 1lb bags of various coffees.
I really look forward to xmas and birthdays now as I never know exactly what coffee I am going to get but it is all good.”

“dood, how much coffe do you drink?

who are you tweak? (from south park)”

“Love Thanksgiving, hate Christmas.”

“Hey I just saw an led light you shake to operate. Imagine trying to focus the beam on something and having to shake it at the same time, lol.”

“LOL @ Sass. Yeah, that would give me a headache, not to mention curious stares.”

“dood, how much coffe do you drink?

who are you tweak? (from south park)”
sacco
2:17:00 PM
11/17/04

Not much Sacco - gotta set my expectations also, there are only about 3 people in the world who would consider getting me a gift anyway, the rest think I am an A$$hole, ask Phaedrus or Twinks LOL.”

“lol at bit”

“I got the worst gift from my wife this fall.

She served me papers...........

I opened them up...."Oh look, a free pass to go backpacking anytime I want to, drink beer till I have to go to work in the morning, watch football in my underware, and make frequent trips to HOOTERS!"

Now that's one gift I'd like to return. What a #&%!$.

Oh Well, life goes on.”

“That letter is a riot Gemini!

I'm actually looking forward to the holidays this year...

I got a "get outta jail free" card last year, so I'm off the hook for family gatherings. Since we have a fairly expensive trip to Florida planned for next April, we're not doing adult gifts (about time!) and I've got a bunch of cool science and nature gifts for the kidlets. Stocking stuffers and kids gifts will make the shopping much more fun!
last edited: 11/17/04 3:16:33 PM”

“Merry Syphilis and Happy Gonorrhea.”

“My best gift, and I don't remember what occassion if any I got it for was headphones for the bedroom tv. When hubby goes to sleep, I can lay next to him and watch tv without making noise. If it's a talk show, you can even turn the tv off so there is no light in the room and still hear the program through the headphones.”

“Last year I made gift baskets for my buds. They had things like mini biners, led lights, maps, hot coco, stuff sacks, power gel and those kinds of goodies. They went over big.”

“People love those things, I think because you get more than one gift in them. They rock.”

“Alcohol always makes a great gift. I got a huge bottle of Grey Goose from my one boss and cuban cigars from my other boss.”

“That doesn't suck.”

“"Love Thanksgiving, hate Christmas.”
bbw

gaaaaaawwd dammit. for the second time in two days im in complete agreement with this guy.”

“I love Christmas. Having small kids rocks during the Holidays.”

“Everyone agrees with me at some point, but it takes a man to admit it.”

“My first ex knows what I like ...he sent me about 5 lbs of chocolate......a bunch of homemade fudge and a big bottle of Baileys.....YUMMMMMM”

“dont get too big a head bbw. youre wrong a lot more than youre right. but you seem to be a tad more civil than when you were bacpac. trying to get a new start?”

“gee, i hope somebody who shall remain nameless doesnt think that post was too emotional. if i get called a silly twat twice in one day i might have to call oprah.”