Forgiveness

“I agree with you Sass. Especially denying that it happened.”

“Tango, my forgiveness tends to stop when innocent people are hurt in bad ways. It's in a different league and if forgiveness eventually occurs, it will have evolved over a very, very long time when all possibility of further harm is gone.”

“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

That saying applies to some cases. If a person is truly repentent, then I believe in giving a person a second chance, BUT if the person has a personality defect, you can't believe that it will change with an "I'm sorry".

When it comes to women, we generally want to hear an "I'm sorry", WITH acknowledgement that the person understood why they hurt us. It's only then that we can trust that person will not hurt us again.”

“Where would anyone be among friends, family, co-workers, or trail partners without the ability or interest to forgive? Afterall, "a faithful man, who can find?" Just as with "fairness," there's no such thing in an absolute sense.

Personally, I think one of the toughest things to do is forgive yourself.”

“"What about the person who tosses off "I'm sorry" repeatedly and casually."

What's the old saying? It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission?”

“Can forgiveness become medicine’s newest tool in the rehabilitation process? One study of the medical rehabilitation of spinal cord patients says yes. Forgiveness was found to improve health and those more forgiving of themselves and of others reported more life satisfaction.

Forgiveness is a factor in low blood pressure, especially in poorer Blacks. Forgiveness linked to low blood pressure and, first study connecting forgiveness and health to survey racially and socio-economically diverse individuals shows that, for low socio-economic status Blacks, forgiveness is linked to low blood pressure and low levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Forgiveness research highlights new realities in the battle of the sexes. A new study finds that women are more likely to forgive than men, but both are equal in seeking revenge.

When counseling forgiveness in victims of child sexual abuse, there is no such thing as an open and shut case of forgive and forget. An ongoing ten-year study on the long-term impact of child sexual abuse found that reconciling with the offender might not be a healthy choice, especially when the mother and child are not close. Going beyond certain steps in the forgiveness process was shown to be detrimental in cases of child sexual abuse.

Forgiveness is linked to less back pain and depression. New study demonstrates that among people who have chronic back pain, those who have forgiven others experience lower levels of pain and less associated psychological problems like anger and depression than those who have not forgiven.”

“Everything needs to be paid back. you phuck with me, i phuck you right back.

Gemini
6:41:41 PM
11/18/04

So you want to be on top for the seconds Gemini ? I am OK with that. j/k”

“Bleeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
NOW you're on my SHlT list.


j/k”

“On the topic of trust, I rock climb and the expression "I would trust xx with my life" is literally true with your belayer.

Very cautious with climbing partners, that they take climbing as seriously as I do.
Also make sure I do not do anything that could seriously pi$$ them off, their wives and daughters really are off limits.”

“Whoa dude! I wasn't meaning you were gullible. I was meaning about letting a stranger with a board hit you a second time. When it's someone you know or love and it's not to direct as hitting you in the head with a board it is a lot different.”


thanks for clarifying Nigal.but I got that same feeling from a couple others posts too.”

“Gem,

No! please no! not the SHlT list

anything

anything

but not the SHlT list
last edited: 11/19/04 8:37:53 AM”

“My motto use to be...Treat me good, I'll treat you twice as good, phuck with me, I'll kill ya.

Perhaps I've mellowed in my old age, now I'll give everyone a chance to make up for a mistake....it seems I've made a few myself and figure they deserve the same chance.

"It's not about the mistakes we make, it's about what we have learned from them"”

“I hear ya partner!

I had a run in with one of these guys in college. I was sitting in the student center after my first class on the first day my freshmen year. The baseball star that picked on me comes into the room I was in, sees me and sits down right next to me. He starts talking to me like we were best friends. He was also wearing his letterman's jacket.

I ask him why is he talking with me. I was never good enough to talk or be friends with you in high school, why am I now?

He gave me the most pathetic look, got up and left. I found out later in the day that I had a class with him. We kissed and made up. I appoligized for my behavior.

A couple of years later, he was working as a utility worker fixing street lights as a summer job. A drunk hit the truck and he fell from the bucket, head fits onto the pavement. His hard hat saved his life.

As some said above, I would have felt terrible if I never appoligized to him. From then on I have tried to treat all people with respect, especially those I am close to. You never know when they may be taken from us.”

“WK,

My dad and sis havent spoken in 4 years. I have tried to remind my sister that he'll be dead soon but she is set in her ways. I can gaurantee that she'll be sorry.

Its a cliche I know but life really is too short.”

“While I'm on the subject, I haven't forgiven my ex for things she inflicted on our kids. I appreciate that she has changed a good deal, but she has never really apologized to them - and I see some signs of her old way. I wonder if the only reason her behavior has changed is because they are bigger than her now - and can yell louder.”

“Crud - Somehow I lost a long post I made.

My ex. had some deep resentment of her Dad, who I thought was a great guy. I'd only met him twice and talked on the phone a bit, but we clicked. He was an Israeli and a hero, poet and historian of the founding of the country. There is a street in Jerusalem named after him.

In Jewish tradition the New Year's week, which goes from Rosh Hashana to Yom Kippur, is a period for self-examination and repentance. The period is called the "days of awe" - the gates of repentance are said to be open, and there is a chance to change one's life and one's destiny. There is a saying that, "what is written on Rosh Hashana is sealed on Yom Kippur."

One of my, then, wife's Israeli cousins called on Rosh Hashana to wish her a happy New Year. I begged her to call her Dad. I knew it would be very easy for her to strengthen their relationship. She refused, I asked her a couple more times, but she still refused. On Yom Kippur, he died while walking on the beach.

Recently, she took one of my sons to Israel and they visited a museum dealing with the founding of Israel. She saw a fair amount about, and by, her Dad there. My son tells me he felt really proud of his grandfather - especially when the museum staff became excitd about having this man's daughter and grandson there. I wonder if her joy was diminished by the failure to reconcile.

On a separate note, my sons are eligible to join the Sons of the Confederacy (on my side) and are grandchildren of a hero of the Zionist undergroung. I wonder how many kids have that mixed heritage.”

“Ped, I wonder if she was molested as a child. It is amazing how pedophiles are so engaging in social situations and usually are charismatic. Just a thought.”

“Nigal, if someone doesn't mean they are sorry, you just limit contact with that person. A person who keeps saying they are sorry is being abusive, like a person that hits his wife, then keeps apologizing. Apologizing just gives them another chance at
doing wrong again.

birch, I don't believe a child should reconnect with an abusive parent just because they are very old, but in your case your dad must be okay for you to want your sister to talk with him again.”

“life really is too short.”
birch

i disagree. i say life is too wide around the middle, and too narrow about the neck and ankles.”

“Ped, thats too bad about your ex. And dang what a crazy mix for your kids...it begs the question can Johnny Reb be a Zionist or is it Johnny Schlomo...LOL!”

“Tango - I don't believe she was molested as a child. We were married along time, and pretty open with each other - so I'm sure she had no memories. Also, she was mostly angry about how he let his second wife dominate his home and how her step-mother treated her. Also, she blamed him for some distance between them - and only found out after he died that her mother had pushed very hard to keep him at arms length and keep him uninvolved. Her mother was a doctor, so she didn't need money from her ex- (also she was also a Zionist and felt guilty about not going back to Israel and didn't want to take money from someone who was back and involved in building the, still, new nation).”

“Crud - this is Ped - every time I try to troll... I get bust myself. Please forgive me??? I saw the idea and ran with it earlier on.”

“Your trolls are showing!”

“LOL at Birch, too.
I should give up trying to troll for good - but I'll prolly try again some time and bust myself again, too.

I wonder what else I posted as Bubbha Beer, by mistake?”

“Prolly should have used the edit function instead of fessing up, but it musta been the guilt that got to me... and since I'm not trully repetant, I should prolly not be forgiven.”

“I never figure out who the trolls are so you should actually should be forgiven because you made my day! I figured out a TROLL!!!”

“ped - We have a nut job in our local Kiwanis club that likes to have weird speakers. A year ago he got a guy involved with Son of Confederacy to speak. This particular guy wasn't a historian, he was racist. He spent most of the time talking about how the Old South wasn't racist by giving examples of blacks, gypsies, and jews fighting for the south. Seems like there was a Jewish general. I don't recall since most of us were poking each other in the ribs to harass each other or just staring at the floor. Some folks wanted to walk out, but didn't.”

“LOL! BUSTED!!!”

“Yeah... it is funny. I'm too impulsive about posting to be a decent troll.
last edited: 11/20/04 1:13:48 PM”

“DH, whats the matter, didn't they have the balls to walk out?
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it is so much more. Sitting there mentally trying to ratioalize (which is what I suggest you folks may have been doing (so as not to be "rude")) seems to me to be going along with the deception. Yes, you're allowing this schmo to affect you.
jmho”