Lyra, do you know where you monkeys are?

“Of course she knows where they are. They're at Bob Evans!”

“MESA, Ariz. (AP) - The Mesa Police Department is looking to add some primal instinct to its SWAT team. And to do that, it's looking to a monkey.

"Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it," said Mesa Officer Sean Truelove, who builds and operates tactical robots for the suburban Phoenix SWAT team. "It would change the way we do business."

Truelove is spearheading the department's request to purchase and train a capuchin monkey, considered the second smartest primate to the chimpanzee. The department is seeking about $100,000 in federal grant money to put the idea to use in Mesa SWAT operations.

The monkey, which costs $15,000, is what Truelove envisions as the ultimate SWAT reconnaissance tool.

Since 1979, capuchin monkeys have been trained to be companions for people who are quadriplegics by performing daily tasks, such as serving food, opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, retrieving objects and brushing hair.

Truelove hopes the same training could prepare a monkey for special-ops intelligence.

Weighing only 3 to 8 pounds with tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills, Truelove said it could unlock doors, search buildings and find suicide victims on command. Dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go.”

“bitpusher, still the number one hoser!”

“Are you the fat guy, bit?”

“lol, no...although the guy hosing him down does look amazingly like me, I am not, in fact, in that picture.”

“Hose on, brother!!”

“I could have subtitled it "bitpusher hosing down TownDawg" and I bet a lot of folks would have fallen for it.”

“I was TTless yesterday.

You retain your title as #1 purveyor of #2.”

“Wow! A testimonial from FiddleBoy.”

“TOKYO - Japanese officials are struggling to capture a rogue monkey roaming the streets of Tokyo. Believed to be a Japanese macaque that has come out of the wild, the monkey has been sighted at least 11 times since April 30 perched atop roofs, telephone poles and scampering among trees in backyards.

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Though it has caused little damage — yet — police and animal welfare officials are in hot pursuit of the monkey, which has been traversing some of the capital's most densely populated neighborhoods.
[...]
The Asahi newspaper quoted a priest at a nearby temple who saw the monkey scattering flowers left on graves.
[...]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050519/ap_on_fe_st/japan_roaming_monkey”

“lyra, you might look on the short yellow bus : )”

“run like the wind, little monkey!!

why don't i not, and say i didn't, IJ. ;-) i don't think i can handle that thread, LOL.”

“

Monkey escapes after 'family row'

A monkey which escaped from Belfast Zoo after an "argument" with his dad is still on the loose.

Police officers have joined staff in the search for the Colobus monkey which escaped from its enclosure on Sunday night.

A man living near the zoo raised the alarm after spotting the two feet tall, black and white animal in his garden shortly after 2200 BST.

The public is urged not to approach the monkey but to contact the authorities.

Johnny Owens, the owner of the house where the monkey was spotted, said he could not believe what he was seeing.

"I was sitting there last night watching television and just happened to look out the window and saw this beautiful black and white monkey going up and down the gazebo and I couldn't believe my eyes," Mr Owens said.

"I phoned my nieces and they stayed for a couple of hours and fed it."

He said he contacted the police, who notified the zoo.

"They in turn said it had settled down nicely for the night and they'd start their search in the morning."

Mark Challis, the zoo's acting manager, said he was hopeful the young male monkey will be returned safely to his enclosure.

It appeared the monkey had "a set-to with his dad" and then fled the enclosure, he said.

"He's out of his normal environment, he's likely to want to hide. They are a relatively shy, nervous species.

"They come from the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro, so they are quite a tough species of monkey. The cool air nights shouldn't bother them too much," Mr Challis added.

"We have a very capable and trained escape team in the zoo. We wouldn't want people to approach him too closely, but if they can keep an eye on him and see what he's up to that would be ideal."

A red panda escaped from the zoo in December 2002...


Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/northern_ireland/4592973.stm

Published: 2005/05/31 08:20:37 GMT

© BBC MMV”

“Monkey research leads to prostitution

Registration required. The article is long, so I'll post the relevant paragraph:

Something else happened during that chaotic scene, something that convinced Chen of the monkeys' true grasp of money. Perhaps the most distinguishing characteristic of money, after all, is its fungibility, the fact that it can be used to buy not just food but anything. During the chaos in the monkey cage, Chen saw something out of the corner of his eye that he would later try to play down but in his heart of hearts he knew to be true. What he witnessed was probably the first observed exchange of money for sex in the history of monkeykind. (Further proof that the monkeys truly understood money: the monkey who was paid for sex immediately traded the token in for a grape.)

”

“Thinking of you, Lyra! People around here got a show at the Jacksonville zoo yesterday.
http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/local/news-article.aspx?storyid=40350”

“howdy treebait! :-)

hmmm, sex for one grape, now that's a deal if i ever heard of one.

FREE THE MONKEYS!”

“Why does bit want to have so much sex with lyra's monkeys?

Weird. ;-)”

“haha, burn!”

“What can I say, I'm desperate.”

“I don't know how this darn monkey business started, but you all know that I do collect monkey tshirts right??

I think I have close to 15 right now.
Just thought I mention that...not sure why...

I still need one that says "this monkey backpacks".... and some smart comment on the back...”

“you have monkey t-shirts?! Gemini, we are soul sistas!
:-D”

“yeahhhh!! I got lots of monky shirts.

http://www.bobbyjackbrand.com/bobbyjack.html

”

“(note to self: hahahahahahahahahaha....monkey shirts???)”

“oh SHUT UP!!!!I luv my monkey shirts...they are so much fun!!

Traildays I had one that said: "gone crazy, be right back"

I wear them depending on my moods...
I also have one saying "cranky"

keep it up and I'll be wearing that today!!!”

“I luv my monkey shirts...I wear them depending on my moods...
Gemini
7:05:21 PM
7/13/05

So many one-liners, so little time....”

“I'll shut up now...it's prolly best. :-P

look what you made me do...

last edited: 7/13/05 6:14:15 PM”

“Please report to the "makeovers are da bomb" thread...LOL.”

“lyra your mokeys are reading your email again. and so should you
you have mail”

“oh cool, thanks for telling me! i never check that account.”

“Hey Lyra,

I found some ice skating monkeys for ya.

http://www.chron.com/disp/dispcomp2.mpl?cid=952606”

“Jeez what an ugly woman!

Oh, monkey.”

“Hmmmm, looks like Tonya Harding has a little facial hair problem, there!”

“wide dual bladed skates - ain't much as ice skating goes - more like walking on ice”

“oh i am crying so hard now!!!! i cannot believe they dressed that monkey up in fur!!!!

i wonder if it made it sad to know that it was being kept warm by something that came from another animal. probably that is why it looks so sad. or maybe its just angry at the evil people who put the fur on it.

either way people are evil! evil evil evil!”

“Ahh the ice-skating monkey in its natural habitat. WOW...just what I have been...looking for?
;-)”

“So what's up with you, Rockman?”

“You are the monkey queen, your adorableness.”

“Don't forget the pics ...

http://www.advergraphics.nl/beeksebergen/Beer_vs_Aap.pdf
(oops)
last edited: 5/15/06 4:51:01 PM”

“Awesome!”

“I thought you were going to post this:

”

“Why is a Bear from the Indian Subcontinent hanging out with an African Monkey?”

“I give up. Why is a bear from the Indian Subcontinent hanging out with an African monkey?”