Scientific Evaluation of Hell

“The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen
over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving
only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"”

“sounds like an urban legend to me... :-)”

“I posted that as a troll and got a lively discussion out of it.”

“LOL! However, I would have failed the student fo his first dangerous assumption:

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to
Hell, it will not leave”

“Buddha Bear is dayhiker's troll??”

“Ewker-- you said what I was thinking...

Is Buddha Bear dayhiker's troll?
and does he really have the fuzzy topknot?
last edited: 11/22/04 1:50:46 PM”

“I posted this about a year ago with a troll. Since a discussion hadn't yet taken place I figured yall would know I meant in the past.”

“PS. Real men don't wear visors, therefore, I'm not BB.”

“but day, you could be just saying that only to throw us off... LOL”

“...so we can safely derive that neither of them is a troll.”

“But have you ever seen as together? Ok, TC 2 doesn't count. Let's see, I'm 5'-10", BB is 6'-14". We do look similar. We both live in Red states. What else?”

“you both have the lettersk, "h,a,r,d,e" in your name, does that count?!”

“Well, I do get alot of blue pill spam emails. I'll bet BB does too.

Those commercials crack me up. If your erection last more than 4 hours....brag.”

“If you see blue, it's time to go to the doc.”