Son, learn how to cook!

“This would be my advice to my son. Learn how to cook!

There are three major reasons to learn how to cook.

1. It is cheaper to cook for yourself and eat at home than to go out every night, in both money and calories.

2. You are no longer dependent upon a woman to fix you a decent meal. I have met men who married for no reason other than they wanted a good home-cooked meal. This is a poor reason to get married.

3. When you do meet a nice girl, there is nothing more impressive than cooking her a good meal at your house. This is how I was able to snag my own wife.

I shall devote this thread to easy lesson in instructing young men to cook.

Learn to cook! You have nothing to lose except your chains!”

“In order to create good meals, you must have decent tools to cook with. Most single guys have either nothing other than a pot they heat up soup or tap ashes into, and a spatula that their mom gave them when they moved out, in hopes that they would use it for something other than scraping frost off of their windshield.

Basics:

Pots: You need at least 4 good pots with lids. A large 3-4 qt pot for boiling pasta, 2 2 qt pots for sauces, veggies and boiling smaller volumes of liquid, and 1 1 qt pot for warming up soups. They do not have to be Calphalon. My first set was an inexpensive 9-piece set of Revere Ware. They're not as good as they used to be, but are still quite serviceable.

Pans: 1 10in cast iron skillet. You can buy these already seasoned, and I recommend you do so, since seasoning, while simple, is something that novices shouldn't try. I also like to have a 12in heavy aluminum skillet, but it's not 100% necessary until you get to preparing larger volumes of food. A good non-stick griddle is good too.

Baking items: Start with a good 16x20 (or thereabouts) cookie sheet. I personally love my Black Beauty. Steel is fine, although heavy aluminum is better. They are supposed to turn black. It's okay. Also get a 10x14 or 9x13 baking dish. A lot of recipes call for things being baked in something this size. This can be either steel or pyrex, either is good. A casserole is something that you will need in the future, but not right now. Muffin tins also fall into this category.

Utensils: 1 metal spatula, one plastic spatula for the non-stick stuff. Large plastic or metal stirring spoons. A potato masher. A slotted serving spoon. A non-slotted serving spoon. For eating, I'm assuming you have something. If not, go to Big Lots or some discount place and find some inexpensive boxed sets. Get at least four, and preferable eight, of a set that has knife, salad fork, dinner fork, tablespoon, teaspoon. Also get a set of decent steak knives. As for plates, look at the same place if you don't have anything. You can pick a nice 8-place setting of dinner plates, salad plates, and bowls for not a lot of money.

Food Prep: Get two cutting boards, one for meat, one for veggies. The veggie one can be wooden, make sure that it is at least 3/4in thick and about 10x14in in size. Don't wash it in the dishwasher. As for the meat cutting board, one of the large 16x20 white plastic boards with a large blood groove running around the edge is best. Always wash it with lots of soap and hot water when you're done. A set of mixing bowls is also necessary.

Knives: You need at least 3, a large cook's knife, a thinner meat slicing knife, and a paring knife. You also need a steel to keep their edges sharp with. I have a steel which is a couple of washers on a plastic base. When you draw the knife between the washers (they overlap) it sharpens the knife quite effectively.

Incidentals: 2 liquid measuring cups, a 2 cup and a 1 cup, preferably Pyrex. A set of plastic or metal dry measuring cups. A set of metal or plastic measuring spoons.

Power tools: An electric handheld mixer is required. Get a good one with a couple of different kinds of beaters. A basic model will work, but you'll probably just want to upgrade in a few years anyway. A stand mixer is very good, but expensive and unnecessary this stage in your education.

I think this is fairly complete. Of course, there are literally thousands of other kitchen implements. I know, I have a lot of them. But this list should be good enough to get you started.”

“so granola bars, mcdonalds, wendy's and burger king are not viable sources of nutrition?”

“Foghorn Leghorn teaches cooking? This could get interesting...”

“my favorite things to cook are french toast and pig in a pokes”

“I can cook a pretty good meal with a lot less equipment than that. A wooden cutting board will collect less bacteria from meat than a board made out of artificial material.

Here is a good recipe for guys:

1 round steak
1 onion
3 potatoes
salt & pepper
1/3 cup water

Put water in the bottom of a pot. Add steak, add coarsly chopped onion and potatoes season. Put in oven at 325 for an hour.”

“Don't buy plastic spatulas, try the new silicon ones. You can use them in temps up to 450°, so you get more use out of them. And don't forget a can opener. ;)”

“I love it! A "learn to cook" thread in a forum dedicated to eating recostituted dehydrated food, only skill needed to prepare: boil water!

Just stock the pantry with Enertia and Mountain House!”

“don't forget the candles”

“Lesson 1: Boiling water. If you learn this well, then no one will be able to "He can't cook, he even burns water."

Step 1: Fill a pot to 2/3 full with water. DO NOT FILL THE POT COMPLETELY, IT WILL BOIL OVER. Put the pot on the eye of your stove that most closely corresponds to the size of your pot.

Step 2. Put a little salt in the water.

Step 3: Turn the burner on high. Boiling water or heating soup are the only times you should ever turn the burner on high, unless you are heating a skillet to sear meat, and if you're learning anything here, searing meat in a skillet is a long way down the road for you.

Step 4: Wait. Remember the old adage about a watched pot never boiling? It's true. Go watch TV for a few minutes. Don't go outside though, you won't hear the water starting to boil.

Step 5: Voila! Boiled water. Turn off the eye, unless you intend to cook something else in the boiled water, in which case turn it down to half, or whatever setting will keep it boiling.

Important safety point: Boiling water is extremely hot. Do not spill it on you, or put your hand into it to retrieve a dropped spoon. It will burn you.


How does this come in handy? Well, lots of things are cooked in boiled water. Corn on the cob, for instance, which can be introduced at this point and cooked for 5-7 minutes, depending on how crunchy you like it. Boiled cabbage can also be cooked this way, duh. Hard-boiled eggs. Spaghetti (covered in lesson 2) and other pastas, with the additional ingredient of a little oil in the water.

If you successfully completed this lesson and got boiling water, excellent! If not, well, don't get discouraged. Try again until you get it right.”

“Sorry somebuddy had to ask.”

“lol bit, have I told you that you're my favorite lately?”

“Bit--
I beg to differ in thought on the pots.

My family grew up using a "dutch oven" type pot as our "main staple"... it's a good all-purpose pot-- for everythign from boiling water, to making stews to stir-frying, to making pancakes.. :-)

Non-stick is okay, but actually, if you heat your pot properly, nothing should ever stick to it.... I don't really like non-stick because, no matter how careful you are, eventually, you may accidentally over-heat and ruin the surface or accidentally nick it with one of your utensils and ruin the coating... it will then start to flake into the food (albeit in minute amounts) which is NOT good for you!

The reason for using a dutch oven is that because the edge is a little higher, you dont' have to worry so much about getting oil or other sauces splashing out of the pot when simmering... :-)

Also, it is always good to have a small saucepan (maybe about 1-1/2 to 2 quart) for heating small quantities of sauces, soups, and water for boiling eggs, etc. :-)”

“Having too few pots is a pain-- because then it takes longer to make your food.... (and some will get cold while others are piping hot!)”

“"pig in a pokes”

Exsqueeze me?”

“Isn't the title of this lesson wrong ??

See step 2. Title should be "how to boil SALT water"

Disclaimer should note that using this water for coffee, tea, hot chocolate will produce disgusting results depending on how the apprentice cook interprets that precise measurement "a little". How much is a little? teaspooful ? tablespoonful? cup (8oz) ? I would hope less than 1/4 the volume of water.

How long to hard boil eggs - 20 minutes and the police could use them for crowd control as rubber bullets.

Just funnin with ya! but your new cook book may need a leetle editing before the nationwide book signing tour. :-)

This is all way to complicated for me.
I shared a house when I was a student and made a deal with housemates. They cook and clean all week, and I will cook a roast dinner for them and their girlfriends Saturday night. They went for it.

Voila - aluminum foil.
Smash garlic and mix with butter, smear all over alu foil. Dump in roast deJour (chicken, venison, lamb, beef) put in oven at 250F. Go to pub, order pitcher of beer, spend afternoon at pub (pub was on beach).
Go home boil potatoes, carrots, squash or pumpkin for 8-10 minutes, drain, wrap in foil and throw in oven with meat.
1 hour later - dinner for many.

All the GF's thought this must have taken me all day.”

“Oooh, good point on the salt.

I'm trying to couch these lessons in terms that someone who is unaware that the funny looking thing in the kitchen that pots go on actually heats food. I'll have to be more careful.”

“I never put salt in my water (even when cooking pasta.) It still boils with no problem.... :-)

Manuka is right about the salting thing. Isn't it actually a "pinch" of salt?

BTW, for the "un-initiated" there is an actual measure for a "dash" and a "pinch" (if you look really hard, you can sometimes find measuring spoons in those sizes... I just put the herbs in my palm and whatever 1 pinch is, I count it that. A figure that a dash is about twice that amount and a smidgen is about 1/2....LOL )

Just for fun, you can ACTUALLY get spoons in those sizes, for the cooking-impaired:

http://www.kitchenkapers.com/14846.html

”

“LOL! I can't finish this recipe, I've lost my Dash spoon!


BTW- I know many women who can't cook. maybe it's a city thing?
last edited: 11/23/04 10:23:33 AM”

“I was thinking along these lines this weekend, while observing a bunch of Tim Allen type dads try to cook for their scout kids over a fire. The poor tired looking scoutmaster stepped in and took over, saving the scarmbled eggs and bacon from certain ruin.”

“I think it's a small-family thing. With a large family, Mom can't do it all, and the older kids have to help. With a smaller family and a smaller volume of food to prepare, Mom can easily cook the whole meal by herself. Add in an on-the-go lifestyle, and there's no time to teach kids how to cook.

I'm already showing my kids how to do simple stuff.”

“LOL!

Bear-- it might be--although, if they grew up in households where mom (or dad) nuked the food, vs. cooking it, that might be the bigger issue... LOL”

“From big Sicilian family reunions I learned one very important cooking lesson - the best marinade for I-talian sausage cooking on the grill is beer.”

“This is all a man needs to know about cooking:


Tasty Tortillas SPAM Roll-Ups
Ingredients:
1 (12-ounce) can SPAM luncheon meat, ground
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese
¼ cup diced green onion
¼ cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1 (4-ounce) can chopped black olives
6-8 flour tortillas

Cooking Directions:
Mix SPAM, cream cheese, Cheddar cheese, green onions, and olives together. Spread lightly over tortillas. Roll. Chill. Slice in ½ inch slices before serving.

Pon Pon SPAM
Ingredients:
1 (12-ounce) can SPAM luncheon meat
2 cups assorted vegetables
Sweet and Sour Sauce:
2 tablespoons vinegar
1-1/2 tablespoons ketchup
1 teaspoon soy sauce
7 tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 cup water
1 tablespoon cornstarch
Mix all ingredients and cook over medium heat until thick.

Cooking Directions:
Prepare Sweet and Sour Sauce. Cut SPAM into ½ x ½" squares and cook in skillet with vegetables for 5 minutes. Pour Sweet and Sour Sauce over SPAM and vegetables.

SPAM Cupcakes
Ingredients
For Cupcakes:
2 (12-ounce) cans SPAM luncheon meat
2 eggs, slightly beaten
2/3 cup quick cooking oatmeal
¾ cup milk
For Glaze:
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon prepared mustard
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 tablespoon water
4 cups prepared instant mashed potatoes
Snipped fresh chives, for garnish

Cooking Directions:
Preheat oven to 350°F. For cupcakes, in large bowl, grate SPAM. Add eggs, oatmeal and milk; mix well. Lightly spray a regular size muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray. Fill each muffin tin two-thirds full with SPAM mixture. Using the back of a spoon, lightly press mixture into tins. In small bowl, whisk together the brown sugar, mustard, vinegar and water. Lightly spoon glaze mixture over SPAM mixture. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until mixture is set. Meanwhile, prepare 4 cups of instant mashed potatoes. Remove cupcakes from oven. Place oven rack 2-3 inches from heat source and heat broiler. Top each cupcake with potatoes. Return muffin tin to oven. Broil 2-3 minutes or until potatoes are lightly browned. Garnish with fresh chives and serve. Serves 12.


SPAM and Rice Casserole

1 (12-ounce) can SPAM® luncheon meat, cubed
2 cups cooked rice
1/2 cup sliced celery
1/2 cup chopped water chestnuts
1/4 cup sliced green onion
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 (10¾-ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
1/3 cup mayonnaise or salad dressing

Heat oven to 350°F. In bowl, combine SPAM®, rice, celery, water chestnuts, green onion, and pepper. In small bowl, combine soup and mayonnaise; mix with SPAMTM mixture. Spoon into 1½-quart casserole. Bake 35 to 40 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Serves 4 to 6.

New-Fashioned SPAM Scalloped Potatoes
Nonstick cooking spray
1 (10-3/4-ounce) can 99% fat-free condensed cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup skim milk
1 (2-ounce) jar diced pimientos, drained
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 (12-ounce) can SPAM® Lite luncheon meat, cubed
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup frozen peas
41/2 cups potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
1 tablespoon dry bread crumbs
1 tablespoon chopped parsley

Heat oven to 350°F. Spray a 2-quart casserole with vegetable cooking spray. In medium bowl, combine soup, milk, pimiento, and pepper. In casserole, layer half of each of SPAM®, onion, peas, potatoes, and sauce. Repeat layers. Cover. Bake 60 minutes or until potatoes are nearly tender. Combine bread crumbs and parsley; sprinkle over casserole. Bake, uncovered, 15 minutes longer or until potatoes are tender. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Serves 6.

SPAM Nachos

1 (10½-ounce) bag tortilla chips
1 (12-ounce) can SPAM® luncheon meat, cubed
1 (15-ounce) can refried beans
1 (16-ounce) jar salsa
1 (8-ounce) package shredded Mexican pasteurized processed cheese

Heat oven to 425°F. Place chips on baking sheet. Sprinkle SPAM® over chips. In bowl, combine refried beans and salsa; pour over chips. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake 6 to 7 minutes or until cheese is melted. Serve immediately. Makes 10 appetizer serving


For more delicious recipes go to:


http://www.spam.com/”

“If you are only going to have one skillet I would NOT make it cast iron. There are a lot of dishes that just do not work well in a cast iron skillet... like anything with an acidic sauce (i.e. citrus or lemonly sauce). A good non-stick or stainless steel skillet would be a MUCH better choie if you were only wanting one skillet. Personally I use both cast iron and a good non-stick, they each have their uses.”

“Bit-- we cross-posted!

My mom held a full-time job AND cooked almost every meal in our household.. only 3 kids, though... :-)

I learned by watching her cook. I'm also the oldest, so that probably makes a difference as well--my sister never really learned because she was the middle kid, and only home without me for 3 years. My brother learned a little, only because he is 6 yrs younger than my sister, so he was at home alone for a longer period of time... Of course, my mom is still traditional in some aspects, so I imagine that he never really paid attention to how to cook....”

“My mom was frustrated by the fact she had no daughters, so she taught me to cook. I'm the oldest of 4, so she definitely needed some help. Well, that's still true.”

“I don't use either cast iron OR non-stick. Used to use the non-stick but for the reasons I mentioned above, I dont' any more...

I prefer a good stainless steel or anodized aluminum pot to cook in.

For the single people out there, a crock pot would be a very good (and cheap) addition to the basics....

You can make soup, or roasts, or stews in it and it's pretty much no-fuss--no muss cooking....


BTW--SPAM isn't real food.... LOL
last edited: 11/23/04 10:43:03 AM”

“LOL-- did you notice how many times the SPAM mobile will be hitting TEXAS?!
Maybe that's why people from TX are so loopy! :-) too much sodium and fat clogging their arteries and wreaking havoc on their brains...”

“I consider myself a pretty good cook. I don't usually use a recipe just start throwing stuff together. Every once in awhile things come out in a mess, but not often. I generally use a recipe when things need to set up or need a certain amount of liquid to cook.”

“BTW Bit, this is a fun thread”

“lol ok good.”

“Indiana John.

Agreed--I do the "throw it together" method, myself.

The secret is to learn the right combination of herbs and spices for foods from different cultures and regions....
I usually view cookbook recipes as "guidelines" and often tweak them with a little more or less spice/ingredients...

However, I ALWAYS use a recipe when baking...the chemistry behind cakes and cookies is pretty cut & dried--I will add extra ingredients into my cakes, breads & cookies, but I won't alter the primary batter chemistry....

The one thing I caution people is to never cook a new recipe out of a cookbook for company if you've never tried it out.... I've read somewhere that there are often typos in recipe books, so making sure to test out a new recipe before feeding it to guests is crucial... :-)”

“BTW--SPAM isn't real food.... LOL
last edited: 11/23/04 10:43:03 AM”
pinkbubelz
10:42:23 AM
11/23/04


pink, Spam is real food. Compare Spam's ingredients to Potted Meat. The tell me why it isn't


SPAM
Ingredients:
Chopped pork shoulder meat with ham meat added.
Salt (for binding, flavour, and firmness)
Water (to help in mixing)
Sugar (for flavour)
Sodium Nitrite (for colour and as a preservative)

Armour Potted Meat Product

Ingredients:
Mechanically Separated Chicken,
Beef Tripe,
Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue,
Beef Hearts,
Water,
Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue
Salt.
Less than 2 percent:
Mustard,
Natural Flavorings
Dried Garlic
Dextrose,
Sodium Erythorbate,
Sodium Nitrite”

“Bit - did your mom also dress you up?”

“When I cook with things i've picked out of the woods I always test them out on family and friends first. 24-hours is a pretty good rule of thumb.”

“bm, you should see him in his hiking kilt”

“ewker-- just joking about the SPAM... potted meat product isn't good for you either... LOL”

“lol no...”

“he hikes in a kilt? He takes up the rear, yes?”

“Spam must be good,

Monty Python has a song about it

Monty Python Spam Song
Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word "spam" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!”

“I've never tasted spam. Well, at least not that I know of.

My mom taught me how to cook. By the time I was ten I made Wed night dinner every week. Had to plan the meal, make a shopping list etc. It's a priceless gift, imo. I'll do the same for my daughter and if I ever have a son him too.”

“I had a lot of recipes that my mother had given me. There were quite a few holiday desserts like Jam cake, Pecan pie and others. I even had a recipe cookbook that I had made for her when I was in the 4th grade.
My ex mother in law was a good cook and she had given me recipes to use. One of my favorites from her was a recipe for zucchini bread and homemade crescent rolls.

I went to get them one day this past summer before I had moved out. They were gone. I asked the spouse where they were. She said she was cleaning and decided to pitch them. I was so pissed at her. Years of recipes of food that I grew up with gone in a flash.”

“Ewker, you should have told her that you had just been told by a friend that Antiques Roadshow just appraised the same old cookbook at $11,000 and you want to sell it and put the money toward a new car.”

“Women do like to be cooked for it seems.”

“Hey! I retired you!”

“So what have I missed here? Bit is a mama's boy?”

“Aparently his mom wanted a girl.”

“lol!”

“I'm with you on the cooking thing bit. I really enjoy cooking. Can't understand those who don't.”