What? No Bernie Kerik thread?

“Oh man! That is hilarious! lmao”

“Beauty --- LMAO”

“"That's right!"

"You tell 'em!"

"Right on V!"










Sheep...”

“Blow me, Nigal! I thought it was funny.”

“Don’t anyone laugh.

You’ll upset angry Uncle Nigal.”

“It doesn't upset me V. The guy was crooked as a dog's hind leg. I was just pointing out the irony of the circlejerk that was denied yesterday.

"You tell 'em V!"”

“Former New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani suspects he was poisoned when he attended a recent White House dinner. Giuliani believes this was done as retaliation for his recommendation of Bernard Kerik as director of homeland security.

“At first I thought it was just indigestion, but then I recall that Karl Rove stood off in a corner and carefully watched as I ate,” Giuliana told a reporter who reached him at home. Giuliana says he apologized to Bush for the botched nomination and assured him he had no prior knowledge of Kerik’s adulterous affair with the entire NY Giants cheerleading squad, suspected shady business deals with Tony Soprano, heavy use of steroids and lewd acts in uniform with a loofah.

Giuliana has scheduled a hospital appointment for tests to determine the cause of what he termed “the worst case of the sh*ts I’ve ever had.” A White House spokesman denied even the suggestion that foul play was involved and recommended the former mayor cut back the dosage on his “paranoia pills.”

- bobsfridge.com”

“C'mon Mort, this is hardly your best offering.”

“(AP) Bernard Kerik once enjoyed a national reputation as a brash, self-made law enforcer. As New York's police commissioner, he was at Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's side during the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks. By late 2004, President Bush wanted him for homeland security chief.

Kerik's fame faded after allegations of ethical lapses doomed his nomination. His troubles, however, have endured.

A grand jury in the Bronx has been hearing testimony about a possible corruption case against Kerik involving reputed mob associates, alleged influence peddling and a questionable home-renovation project.
[...]
In a civil complaint filed last year, New Jersey authorities now working with the Bronx prosecutors alleged that most of the $240,000 renovation was secretly paid for by a construction firm in that state with ties to the Mafia, Interstate Industrial Corp. In return, Kerik allegedly vouched for Interstate with city regulators, charges both he and the company's owners, Frank and Peter DiTommaso, vehemently deny.
[...]
New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement filed court papers seeking to revoke Interstate Industrial's license to work on casinos in Atlantic City, N.J. The papers cited testimony by mob turncoats that the DiTommaso brothers were associates of the Gambino organized crime family.

The civil complaint also detailed Kerik's cozy relationship with an Interstate official. In 1999, he sent a series of e-mails to the official that "indicated his lack of sufficient funds to both purchase and renovate his new Bronx apartment," and "indicated he would provide information to Frank DiTommaso regarding New York City contracts," the papers said.

Kerik later met with a regulator at the city's Trade Waste Commission, which was investigating Interstate, telling him was interested in "alleviating the agency's concerns" about the firm, the papers said. (The official has said he didn't believe Kerik improperly tried to influence him, Kerik's lawyer said.)

The complaint said when the gaming division sought answers and documents from Kerik, he invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/05/26/national/main1662787.shtml”

“That's still funny as hell.”

“Former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani was called as a witness before the Bronx grand jury investigating allegations that a mob-connected builder paid for tens of thousands of dollars in renovations to the Bronx apartment of former Police Commissioner Bernard B. Kerik, one person who has been briefed on his appearance said yesterday.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/10/nyregion/10rudy.html?ex=1150171200&en=391e9d155ff678c6&ei=5087%0A”

“Corruption ....New York???? SAY IT AIN'T SO. ...I think my opinion would be pretty close to ...'Who gives a rats patootie."”

“NEW YORK (AP) — A year and a half after his Homeland Security nomination sank over ethics questions, former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik pleaded guilty Friday to charges he accepted tens of thousands of dollars in gifts while he was a top city official.
Kerik was convicted on a pair of misdemeanors in a deal that spared him any jail time. He instead was ordered to pay $221,000 in fines at the 10-minute hearing.

Kerik acknowledged accepting $165,000 worth of renovations on his Bronx apartment from a company attempting to do business with the city — a New Jersey construction firm with alleged links to the mob. He also admitted failing to report a loan as required by city law.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-06-30-kerik-guilty_x.htm?csp=34”

“Federal prosecutors have told Bernard B. Kerik, whose nomination as homeland security secretary in 2004 ended in scandal, that he is likely to be charged with several felonies, including tax evasion and conspiracy to commit wiretapping.

Kerik's indictment could set the stage for a courtroom battle that would draw attention to Kerik's extensive business and political dealings with former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who personally recommended him to President Bush for the Cabinet. Giuliani, the front-runner for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination according to most polls, later called the recommendation a mistake.

Kerik rose from being a warden and police detective to become Giuliani's campaign security adviser, corrections chief, police commissioner and eventual partner in Giuliani-Kerik, a security arm of Giuliani Partners, which Giuliani established after leaving office in 2001. Kerik resigned his positions in Giuliani's firm after he was nominated to the homeland security job.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/30/AR2007033002425.html?nav=rss_print/asection”

“hmmmmmmmm.”

“WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. -- A federal judge says former top cop Bernie Kerik is displaying some worrying behavior in jail.

Judge Stephen Robinson did not describe the symptoms today. But he said the Westchester County jail's psychiatric director expressed concern about actions that “were not ordinary.”

"There were things unexplained described to me that were either said or done that raised a level of concern for them," said Robinson, according to WNBC.com.

Robinson raised the possibility that Kerik would have to waive doctor-patient privilege or even undergo a court-ordered examination.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bernie_has_jail_psychiatric_director_ljX1cFCs4QBelou30iGOqJ”