Kids say the darndest things

“lol! Too cute.”

“Last night we're having supper with my sister. Emma is up to her antics.

dayhiker: What do we say about Emma?
Reece: Save the drama for your mama.
Emma: I'm not a drama queen, I'm just a queen.”

“Lol! Yep, Laurel calls herself a princess already.”

“We're in Wal-Mart yesterday getting some new fish for the aquarium. The lady is bent over getting the fish. My son steps next to her and slaps her on the backside. There was a long, silent pause followed by profuse aplogies. Talk about wanting to crawl under a rock.

Lately I've been getting him to "spank mommies fanny." When he did that at Wal-Mart I got the look of death from my wife. He face pretty much said, "You're responsible for this." She's correct of course.”

“HA HA HA HA!!!!

It's a good thing I didn't have any coffee in my mouth! My keyboard would have been toast. That is hilarious!!!!!!!!!

How old is your son?”

“Have you taught him about standing next to your wife, quietly farting and then walking away without a word?

Next time you go to the store with the whole family take all the kids somewhere and leave your wife alone. When you catch up to her start crying and yelling, "When are you coming home!? The kids and I miss you!".”

“A chip off the ol' block?”

“As I told the lady, he's old enough to know better, but still too young to care. He just turned 5.”

“Oh boy. My Luke is the same age. He's 5 in a few weeks. He just warmed my heart when he requested a camping birthday party.

Isn't this a fantastic age?”

“Too weird, Ruby. My soon-to-be-5-year-old wants a camping b-day party, too. So she's getting one (no complaints from me). I'm building a large swing/jungle-gym set next month for the kids to play on, we're going to have a small campfire, we'll have one of those air-filled bouncy things (called what?), and all the things in the goody bags are outdoors related.”

“It is great. He overheard me talk about camping the other day and thought we were heading out the next day. He turned 5 on 2/24.”

“speaking of the bouncy things...have yall heard of a place for parties called Pump It Up? Check out pumpitup.com That's where we had his party a few weeks back. It's a room filled with inflatibles.”

“Luke's party will be at the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore campground. I'm lucky that they will have just opened it for the season. Gonna do a campfire with the obligatory hot dogs and marshmallows. We're going to go on a short hike, visit the Visitor Center, and do a scavenger/treasure hunt with goody bags for the kids. Hmmmm, wonder if I can implement a GPS or geocaching in that? Maybe some ghost stories around the fire. Then we are staying overnight. I will set up all five of my tents so that any of our guests who want to spend the night can do so.

Luke is already getting his gear ready he told me this morning. He found his little binoculars and his little backpack.”

“Wow, a 5 year old sex offender.
I think it is called indecent assault.

Better teach him not to do that before he makes the national register and the police have to notify your neighbors.

Now was that the US definition of fanny, or the British ??”

“That's funny. We always play slap ass at work and get the strangest looks from the customers. I bruised my right cheek on Paddys Day so Friday & Saturday were miserable.”

“My son Tucker (10 years old) rented some video games the other day from the rental place. He and his buddies had fun playing the new games. Later he was excitedly telling me about the Godzilla game they had rented. He told me what was really cool about the Godzilla game was that it was the old-fashioned Godzilla, you know, the one from the '90s.”

“That's great. It was old-timey, you know, from after you graduated HS.”

“Me? Naaaa, I graduated from high school in '88. I'm ancient. ;)”

“'90 here. This May will be 15 for me. I graduated college in '94 and '97 so it's been awhile there too.”

“uh, dayhiker, us really old folks didn't need to see those dates...

College: 1990

:)”

“dang Roam - I think we're the same age. From your pics I thought you were much older... : )”

“Roam - yeah, it's not like I'm 35 or anything like Ruby”

“yalll are sooooooo funnneeeeee.”

“lol

I'm so old.”

“Dang kids! Hush! ;-)”

“You ain't old. It was 1973 for me!”

“Ruby - if you want to put age in perspective then go back the that NGA issue we talked about the other day. Turn to the page for things to do when you're 100 and read that page.”

“I was born in '73!”

“Dang Currahee, you're 2 years younger than me.”

“So one of the scout dads recounted a story of when his son was younger.

Alex got a tv in his room when he was in elementary school.One day he runs out of his room...

Alex: Dad Dad! The TV broke!

Alex explains the the picture is all messed up so dad goes in to give it a look.

Dad: Alex I don't see anything wrong.
Alex: But Dad! The color is all messed up! The color is all gone!

The TV show he was watching was Casablanca.”

“Funny.

Not too long ago we were playing the Wizard of Oz from the beginning. Emma went nuts and kept yelling, "Not that one, the otha one, the otha one. Not that Oz, the otha one." The Wizard of Oz starts out in b&w and she thought we weren't showing her the correct movie.”

“Stove Stomper said "Dang kids"!

MoooHaaahaaahaaaaaa”

“You're making ME feel old. When you were "poppin'fresh" I was graduating from High school.





Didn't have a job then, don't have one now! lol!”

“My daughter was born in '73.

Currahee, stay away! You're not worthy.”

“Hey, I can join this party! Born in 72!”

“I was born in 70.

I remember back in the early 90s having a conversation with my then boss. He had been to Woodstock and was reminiscing about it with a starry look on his face. He paused a moment and looked at me and said, wasn't Woodstock great? I just laughed. I said, Ted, I wasn't even born yet.”

“Well, I came upon a child of God
He was walking along the road
And I asked him, 'Tell where are you going?
This he told me

Said, I'm going down to Yasgur's Farm,
Gonna join in a rock and roll band.
Got to get back to the land and set my soul free.

We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Well, then can I walk beside you?
I have come to lose the smog,
And I feel like I'm a cog in something turning.
And maybe it's the time of year,
Yes and maybe it's the time of man.
And I don't know who I am,
But life is for learning.

We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon.
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon.
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

By the time we got to Woodstock,
We were half a million strong
And everywhere was a song and a celebration.
And I dreamed I saw the bomber death planes
Riding shotgun in the sky,
Turning into butterflies
Above our nation.

We are stardust, we are golden,
We caught in the devil's bargain,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.”

“So that's what those words were!”

“Dang it. I wasn't quite old enought for woodstock.”

“I was in the bar a few weeks ago, about a week after the big tidle wave hit, and this lady was sitting at the bar having a conversation with another lady. We all overheard her because she was talking so loudly.

Her statement was;

"Can you believe how that big salami did all that damage, and killed all those people in..."

NO #&%!$, by this time we were all cracking up and rolling on the floor about the Big Salami and didn't hear the end of the conversation.”

“LOL Chief

I know a woman who is definitely not the sharpest crayon in the box. One day, she was putting someone else down for supposedly not being smart. In her negative comments about this other person she said, "Well, she's no rock scientist."”

“well, those geologists are pretty smart from what i've seen of 'em!”

“She's safe, Kabin Kamper would kill me before you had a chance.”

“I was old enough for Woodstock, but it was on the other coast and it couldn't be as good as Monterey.



Ruby, what woman meant to say was "It's not Rocket Surgery."”

“I heard of women like that. 8^)


So the kid comes over to take my daughter out.
I took him aside and said, "That little girl over there is the most important thing in my life...and after Vietnam going to prison just don't bother me all that much."”

“hahahahahaha!!! Kids are putting their clothes away. All of a sutton I saw Cameron running around wit my underwear on top of his shorts.

I asked him what he was doing with my underwear...and his big brother replied: those are underwear I thought they are elastic string.

hahahahahahahahahahahhaaahahahaha. that was the funniest thing I have heard for a while out of my teenager for a while.”

“You mean like, slingshot underwear?”

“How many times do we gotta tell ya..... PICTURES! (not the kid, you Gem)”

“Last night was my night to do Emma's bedtime routine. We alternate who does which child. After reading her bedtime story it was time for bedtime prayers. Emma usually likes to lay on the floor and wriggle around. I was in no mood for all of that so I sat Indian style and had her sitting in my lap. She kept trying to get free and when she realized I was serious she started crying. She got real loud. You'd have thought I was beating her. Finally, the door opens and Mommy sticks her head in and says, "What's going on?" Emma replies, "He's makin' me CRAZY!!!" We both hide our faces to laugh, my wife regains her composure and replies, "I know the feeling girl, I know the feeling."”

“LOL”