Kids say the darndest things

“That sounds like going to see GWAR in 30-odd years.”

“I had lunch with Reece at school today. The kid across teh table kept talking and talking to us. I don't know him. Seemed like a nice enough kid. As I was walking back with them from the lunch room he said he wanted me to meet his parents. He said it another time or two then said he wanted them to meet me so that they could approve of me so that Reece could spend the night as his house. I sort of grinned and asked if they needed to test me. He said, "yes, so they can see if you're the right kind of people." I replied, "What's the right kind of people?" He said, "I don't know."

I obviously knew where they were coming from, but thought it was kind of a funny exchange.
last edited: 10/16/09 12:17:17 PM”

“did you pass?”

“I don't know.

Who is it that was quoted as saying that, "I'd never want to be in a club that would have me as a member?" WC Fields maybe?”

“i believe it was groucho marx”

“http://www.quotedb.com/quotes/4192

You are correct sir, thanks.”

“my wife took the kids to get their piggy flu shots yesterday...she was explaining what was going to happen to our 3 year old son...he started to get upset and then had a brilliant idea...he said "ellwe (his sister ellie) wants to go first"”

“Laurels been running around, proudly announcing to everyone that she got the Nasal up the Nose vaccine.”

“Those are both great.


The thing that has cracked me up lately is Addie (3) wanting to watch the movie, "Alice The Wonderland." Nothing will make her say it correctly. "Mama, I want to see Alice the Wonderland."”

“ours ended up getting the nasal mist too...hes been going around saying "now my nose not sick"”

“Enjoy it while you can.

My son let me know this week he is dropping out of college and joining the Coast Guard.

My daughter let me know she is getting a boob job when she gets to be 18.






The guy at the liquor store is calling me by my first name now.”

“Time to grab some ganja, too.”

“chili, look on the bright side, by then those natural fake boobs where they use their own fat cells might be on the market!

Seriously though, bummer dude.”

“Oh, and she is 15 and wants a car.

I am telling you guys. Everytime your little ones crap their pants, you should break out in a grin. Diapers are cheap!”

“my daughter is 15 and telling me she wants a jeep cherokee.

i`ll be buying a car for the boy in a week or two.

on the bright side it`s looking like he really will graduate high school this spring. he told me a few weeks ago that he`s thinking he might try to join the fire dept.”

“My 3 year old randomly started singing "Pants on the Ground," last night. I got a pretty good chuckle out of that.”

“:-)”

“you need to video that!!! :)”

“my 3 year old's pre-school is doing a pajama party today...he's been running around all day telling everybody, including his stuffed animals, that "i get wear jammys to school today, that so silly"”

“What a nice CHILD.....http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0212102haley1.html”

“100% the parent's fault”

“WHAAAT? No HPD, its Bush's Fault...geez I figured you would know that now (LOL)...

Seriously I totally agree.”

“Not enough background to place blame, but I suspect the kid has free reign at home.”

“my 3 year old invented a new verb this weekend...i back into him and hit him with my butt...he said, "daddy, you are butt cracking me"
last edited: 2/22/10 1:48:28 PM”

“LOL”

“ha!”

“My wife was taking the kids to visit her folks and mine over spring break yesterday and the kids needed to make a pit stop at the Flying J truck stop. Before going in she warned Reece that he would HAVE to come in the ladies room with the rest of them. He wasn’t keen on the idea. She explained that this was a big place, with lots of people, and that there might be some creepy people there and she didn’t want him alone in the mens room. They hit the front door and there is a huge crowd at the register. Emma surveys the place and announces to all, “Mom, I don’t see any creepy people!” Sadly, there was no where to run to, no where to hide.”

“+ 1 for Emma! LOL”

“LOL!”

“LMAO! Along the veins of when we moved to downtown Atlanta, we're walking down Marietta St. in the heart of downtown, and my five y.o. brother bellows at the top of his lungs, "ARE WE IN BROWN TOWN, MOM?"”

“My 9-yo is so blonde. We were eating subs the other day and she asked what was in her sub. "Coldcuts" her mother said.

< pause >

"Mom, it doesn't feel very cold to me."”

“uhh... that's actually the proper implementation of the term.”

“i'm so proud:

our son is newly potty trained so he still pulls his pants all the way down to pee...yesterday he walked out of the bathroom, pants still around his ankles...he lifted his dangle, pointed to his bag and said "Daddy, what's this?"”

“That's hilarious.”

“Doesn't count unless he does it in front of the Avon lady.”

“Well...? What was the answer?
Or does the answer go under "The darndest things parents answer"?”

“i gave him both the technical answer plus all the slangs i could think of, well the clean ones anyway”

“LOL”

“I miss those days.

son: Dad, I need $1500 for a new transmission.

daughter: Dad, I need a car and I found a Z3 Roadster I just adore.”

“a co-worker recently told me about keeping the nursery at church. He said a 3 year old referred to it as, "his junk." Evidently the dad is making sure junior is up on the slang.”

“chili, so you're buying her a beemer and a new pair of tits? You get cool dad of the year.”

“You would think Chili was taking lessons from Ozzy Osburne. ;-)”

“son: Dad, I need $1500 for a new transmission.

well son, i don't have $1500 but hows bout you and i go down to the junk yard and pick one up...we can swap it out this weekend together”

“This is still my favorite thread.”

“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4&feature=player_embedded

This is for all you parents.”

“SS, that is hilarious.”

“DH, not even funny.

She is now talking about going to Ole Miss. I just thank God she didn't mention Alabama.”

“Chili, it is ranked as one of the Best (Party) Schools in the nation.”

“A famous saying in Oxford.....
"We may not win every game, but we ain't never lost a party."”

“driving my 3 year old son to pre-school today there was a quick mention of the oil spill on the radio...my son proceeded to tell me all about it

son: there's oil in the water, ocean water. animals are getting stuck in it, burds, fishies, tordels, everything

me: yeah, it's sad isn't it?

son: yeah, they could maybe die

me: but there's a lot of very smart people thinking of ways to stop it and clean it up

son: maybe they should use a vacuum cleaner”