Kids say the darndest things

“yep, my daughter thinks its great fun to eat the black olives off her fingertips! she's done that for years.”

“Emma's new favorite song to sing-a-long with is "Don't you think your girlfriend is hot like me"

The other day Reece told me, "Ok, I'm officially a little freaked out right now."”

“DANG!!!! I'm with Reese on this one! ;-)”

“SS - we ate a good bit of the honey from your hive with biscuits this weekend. Good stuff.”

“Just wait dayhiker.....


Mine are at the stage that I get statements like....


"Dad, can I go backpack in Europe" (the 15 y/o)


"Stop!!! Stop the car!!!! That guy over there is hot!" (the 11 y/o)


"But Dad, I AM old enough for makeup" (the 10 y/o).


Boy how I miss those innocent statements they used to make.”

“An 11 y/o scoping out a hottie? Oh, man. That's only 6 years away for me (5 & 3 y/o daughters for me). I'm moving to the wilderness in central Canada!”

“Great! This is what I should be prepaired for.”

“LOL>.hahahahahahahhah.....thanks for sharing!!!!!!”

“Over the weekend we rented Pipi Longstockings. Monday evening I get home and both kids are dressed as pirates. Reece has a pirate hat on and a patch over his eye. They're running around acting goofy and Reece stops, looks at me, flips the eye patch up to expose both eyes and says, "Dad, it's me, Reece."”

“dayhiker - have I ever told you I love your choice of names for your children?

cute stories, too, btw.”

“Whew, for a second there I thought the house had been boarded!”

“we just bought our 8 year old nephew a watch for his birthday...he put it on, looked at it, and said "humm, 6:45, whatayaknow"”

“Thanks Tara.

Yep, we were boarded. He loves pirates, star wars, space, and swimming. Emma having the pirate garb on was pretty funny too.

TC - very good on the time telling. Reece will come downstairs every 10 minutes during nap time until he sees the clock with a 3 in it. He knows that Three - zero - zero means it's party time.”

“hey lets not foget what OLD people say too.

the other day twignut came home with two of her friends. they were boy friend and girlfriend.
both have very long hair. well it seems my mother in law asked if they were Lesbians.
(it was a boy and a girl)
I about feel on the floor when i heard this.

old people are sure funny!!”

“sorry :)
last edited: 8/11/05 7:49:46 AM”

“What are you sorry for?

That was funny, btw.”

“Darn it, my oldest has said two things in the last 3 days where I've said to myself "I need to get that on the TT kids thread".

And then when I'm on here I've completely forgotten what she said. :-(”

“I've had that happen a bunch in the last 2 weeks.”

“the background:

i've been wacking a lot of weeds/brush. i've got an handtool-type weedwacker that's bascially a hockey stick only it's real sharp at the bottom. over the weekend i did a lot of wacking with it and got some decent blisters.

the conversation:

i was talking to chrissy (my sorta fiance) on the phone at work. we were talking about getting some more clearing done in the evening. i told her i'd like to rest my hand (blisters) another day instead of re-opening them. she asked why i don't just wear gloves, wouldn't they help?

with no intention of inuendo i said:

"nah, just not comfortable for me.
i gotta have my bare hands on the stick when i'm wacking."

biting her lip she said: "what did you just say?"

i repeated, a little louder "i don't like wearing gloves when i'm wacking."

i think she almost died from laughing so hard.
meanwhile, i work in a cubicle style office building and the giggling of the surrounding co-workers was furious.”

“Very funny.

What's a "sorta fiance?"

I don't like wearing gloves at all.”

“I don't think poor sacco understands this thread is about children.
No wait, he may be that mental age! ;-)


If you dang people were better parents, you would remember those funny kids sayings and type them up here. ;-)

I love this thread.”

“We were going to a restaurant the other day and was picking at Emma. She says, "Daddy, stop aggravating me, you're pushing my buttons!"”

“There we go, a good kid quote!”

“i don't think poor SS understands my mental age.
No wait, he may after all!


a sorta fiance is someone who may go to vegas this winter for a long weekend.”

“Last night Reece is still finishing supper and Emma and I are in the kitchen harassing each other. I lighty pop her on the fanny with a dish towel. She runs into the breakfast room and goes to Reece. When I round the corner he has her in a comforting, sorta, headlock. When he sees me he says, "Don't worry Emma, I'll handle this." My wife and I both hit the floor from laughing.”

“Laurel the 3 year old just told me to go make her some coffee, please. Yikes.”

“A little caffeine fiend, eh?”

“Like she needs any stimulants. Crikey.”

“1 cup @ age 3, a whole pot by age 10!”

“My kids still think that coffee is a vile, disgusting substance consumed by their father because he is an ancient human being without working taste buds.


Leaves more for me.”

“I did get howls of disgust from them the other day when I told them if they hurried and got up quick they would get some coffee.”

“Over the weekend Emma was singing farmer in the dale. There is a line that goes, "the farmer chased a duck, the farmer chased a duck,..." At the top of her longs Emma was singing in the Cades Cove campground, "...the farmer chasted us, the farmer chasted us,..."

We got the Willie Wonka DVD from Wal-Mart for $5. The kids hadn't seen it. It comes on and at the begining there is a scene in the candy store. The guy behind the counter starts singing, "who can take a sunrise, ...." Reece looks at me deadpan serious and says, "He's a good man."”

“My wife and I were getting ready to go out Sunday, and we told our kids we would be dropping them off at Aunt Kimmie's house for the day. Our oldest (5) asked my wife where we were going, and she told her, "to a wedding."


"But Mom, you and Daddy are already married!"”

“bump for the usual crowd, which doesn't seem to be around today...”

“I cannot wait to get these kind of responses from my little one.”

“When my first son was very little we took him to the Chicago Botanic Gardens. We love taking the kids to see the vegetable garden to remind then that food doesn't come from the grocery store...

In any regard, my little boy ran up to a patch of leafy red lettuce and squatted down. He pointed to the top of the plant and said in a very excited tone, “LOOK DAD, SALAD!”

I blew Coke out my nose I laughed so hard. We keep going to the vegetable garden at the Chicago Botanic Gardens to remind them where food comes from as a result of this little incident! :)”

“LOL...hahahahahahaha.....
...my favorite thread.....thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!”

“HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10
( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who
you're stuck with. -- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then. -- Camille, age 10
( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married. -- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

( 1 ) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

( 1 ) Both don't want any more kids.-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. --
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

( 1 ) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. --
Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

( 1 ) When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7
( 2 ) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that. -- Curt, age 7
( 3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do -- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

( 1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

And the winner is.....

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

( 1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck. -- Ricky, age 10”

“excellent stuff.”

“Laurel's preferred entertainment (other than helping us dig a koi pond) lately is Mary Poppins. She gets so excited during the credits when you first see Mary in the clouds. Laurel likes to shout "Mommy! It's the witch! She's back!" So, when she asks for the witch, it's Mary Poppins. Iguess it could be a lot worse.”

“Ok I forgot to post this one last weekend.

So my parents take Laurel out to eat. While there a very obese woman walk past the table they are at. My mom estimates that this lady was at least 400 pounds.

Laurel looks at the woman and looks at my mom with dinner plate sized eyes and loudly exclaims...

"Grandma! Did you see how big that woman are??? She's HUUUGE!!!!"”

“So did your folks want to crawl under the table?


When in public restrooms in the stalls Emma likes to yell out, "Eww, stinky poo-poo!"”

“Laurel can do one better Dayhiker: When she's about to go, she yells out "Are you ready for the poo poo Mommy? It's a big one! Here it comes! Yaaaaay!"

Also, the in laws thought it was very funny. At least mom in law thought so.”

“OH MY GOD! That is the funniest thing I have heard treebait.”

“Give it a couple of years WK and you'll hear it too!”

“That is hilarious tb.

I think I passed this one along way back when, but Emma used to really be afraid of the auto flush toilets. She calls them "Magic Potties". At Disney last year my wife couldn't get her to go and would say, "Come on Emma, let me hear some tee-tee." The next time my wife is going and Emma says out load, "Come on mommy, let me hear some tee-tee."”

“LOL, these are great!”

“tb - we're flying out Tues for Disney. Work conf on site. So close to yall, but yet, so far away.”

“My boss's wife is pregnant and they have a precocious 5 year old...
While on vacation, they were on a bus or some similar transportation and she was talking up a storm (loudly, the kid IS loud) to the woman in the seat behind them.
She tells the lady her mommy is pregnant, the woman says oh that's nice...then she says, "and it's gonna come out her vagina!"
LOL...”

“I've had to take my grandkids over to my dads now and then (they'd never been before) it's like it never dawned on the littlest one that I'm somebody's kid too...

First he told me my daddy is real old, then as I was cutting cucumber for him, he said, "you're allowed to use knives?"
last edited: 9/16/05 1:04:19 PM”