I'm Jealous of the Animals

“LOL, NAAA ENS, not that one.
Tango, he had no clue what the heck he was singing...discovery channel blablabla... that's all... I didn't even know they words. Tells you how much I listend to it.

Roam...you completely missunderstood. Completely.”

“lol,

yeah right! lol.”

“you people need to get out and hike”

“Moahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! He started it!!!
I didn't say it..whatever he thought I said...hey...it's not true!!! I deny EVERYTHING!!!!!”

“green for envy, huh??

I think it's those hidden messages in my music I am listening too. yeah...I think that's it...
last edited: 1/10/05 10:03:33 PM”

“pigs do it for fun too.”

“
Monkeys...#&%!$, it's worth repeating...here it is...

Do monkeys truly masturbate as much as people do, or is that just a lie told by our friends to make us feel stupid for masturbating?

Oh Christ, this is number 300. Well, we had a contest for this and this is the best you all could do? Congratulations are in order to smappdi, who submitted this. Fine job.

Monkeys don’t masturbate. They have no need to. When they’re horny, they have sex with each other. There is no such thing as monkey porn. Alright, there is, but it’s not mainstream by any stretch of the imagination. When monkeys want some, they get some. How are they able to do this? Because monkeys are like men. (Oh yeah, that’s going to be misquoted) Regardless, both men and monkeys see sex as a biological function. This works great if you’re a monkey because both male and female monkeys see sex as a biological function. So they have sex whenever they want to. Female humans, however, attach all these feelings and pre-conditions to sex to throw a wrench into the works. Hence, huma males masturbate and monkeys don’t.


NOW Phantom Soul....match this sucker!!!!
last edited: 1/10/05 10:09:50 PM”

“Gemini, if there is one thing I don't want to see, it seeing your monkey post. Although, that would be one smart monkey. Could make big bucks with a monkey that posts.

dang, she edited, now my post is not as funny
last edited: 1/10/05 10:09:00 PM”

“Heeheeheee!!!!!!
anyway...did you know that...
Two pigs cannot have sex on Kingsville airport property.

West?? huh??? (yeah and psychic too!!!)
last edited: 1/10/05 10:14:38 PM”

“Gemini is the fastest "edit button clicker" in the west and east
last edited: 1/10/05 10:13:17 PM”

“heeehee, you are SO luck that you do not live in LA:

Eggs and sausage, anyone?

Two Louisiana men recently were accused of having sex with animals.
Timothy Garner, 35, purportedly has admitted having sex with chickens in the chicken house of a neighbor.
And Austin Gullette, has been accused of having sex with a Vietnamese potbellied pig. He reportedly was turned in by his sister, who owns the pig and who apparently caught her brother in the act.
The molesting of chickens we'll never understand. But those potbellied pigs ... they're really cute.”

“DONE.

Your turn. Oh, and why's it gotta be about the envy?”

“Sh*t on the ground
See in the dark

Talking Heads”

“Was the sister jealous?”

“Did you know?...A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. A pig's #&%!$ is shaped like a corkscrew and it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky...unless of course, you played 'pig-tipping'.


Did you know?...The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this dilemma, the male uses his curved #&%!$ to drill a vagina into the female. Ouch!!!!

Did you know?...A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

Did you know?...Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

Did you know?..."Ithyphallophobia" is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect #&%!$.

and...for BearMagnet:

Did you know?...Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.”

“Biochemically speaking, I usually don't orgasm after eating chocolate.

The one exception was when B&J Came out with their LE Chocolate Chocolate Cookie ice cream. I savored the pint for hours but did complete the job.

I do love chocolate!”

“Did you know?...Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.”
Gemini


i believe that. it's probably why women love chocolate so much. they don't have to console the empty candybar wrapper, "yes, honey i still enjoyed it, even though i didn't get there"”

“Do M&M's only melt in your mouth?”