New wrinkle on the Nigerian money scam

“Dear sir,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for
me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.
My name is JONATHAN CARU, a merchant from Norway,I
have been
diagnosed with Esophageal cancer .It has defiled all
forms of medical
treatment, andright now I have only about a few months
to live, according to medical experts.
I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I
never really cared for anyone(not even myself)but my
business. Though I am very rich, I was never
generous, I was always hostile to people and only
focused on my business as that was the only thing I
cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know
that there is more to life than just wanting to have
or make all the money in the world.
I believe when God gives me a second chance to come
to this world I would live my life a different way
from how I have lived it. Now that God has called
me, I have willed and given most of my property
and assets to my immediate and extended family
members as well as a few close friends.
I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul
so, I have decided to give alms to charity
organizations, as I want this to be one of the last
good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed
money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E,
Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself
anymore. I once asked members of my family to close
one
of my accounts and distribute the money which I have
there to charity organization in Bulgaria and
Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to
themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as
they seem not to be ontended with what I have leftfor
them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the
huge cash deposit of Twenty Eight Million
dollars($28,000,000,00) that I have with a
finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to
help me collect this deposit and despatch it to
charity organizations.


I have set aside 20% for you and for your time.

God be with you.


JONATHAN CARU”

“You'd be a fool not to go for it. This guy has been trying to give money away everywhere: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=JONATHAN+CARU&btnG=Google+Search”

“There went that B+!”

“"The last of my money which no one knows of is the
huge cash deposit of Twenty Eight Million
dollars($28,000,000,00) that I have with a
finance/Security Company abroad."

Good thing he pointed out that $28 million is a huge amount of money. I never would have understood otherwise.”

“"It has defiled all forms of medical treatment,"
last edited: 2/02/05 11:36:07 PM”

“Them scammers are getting smart... i'm guessing lucky. I just got a letter informing that my uncle(or someone with the same name as my uncle that I haven't talked to or seen in 4 years) died 6 years ago in Nigeria while working for some Shell company or something and left me a fortune...”

“Shell company !! what a great pun.

Shell game”

“Really? I got one that said if I send money to Nigeria that the size of my #&%!$ would increase by 70% and I\'d get 4.25% intrest on my morgage.”

“I had to bring this thread back. I loved the name of the guy who sent this email to me. Besides the obvious Salami, I think his last name means something too but I can't figure it out.

FROM THE DESK OF MR. ABDUL SALAMI USTAHD,
DIRECTOR/OFFICE OF THE CHAIRMAN,
CONTRACT AWARDING COMMITTE:
EUROPEAN UNION CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT.
BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.

Dear Friend,

I Mr.Abdul Salami Ustahd, the Chairman of Contract Awarding Committee
of the EUROPEAN UNION CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT(ECC) in BURKINA FASO West
Africa.
I got your information in a business directory from Burkina Faso
Chamber of Commerce and industries, when I was searching for a reliable,
honest and trust worthy person to entrust this business with. I was simply
inspired and motivated to pick your contact from the directory. After
discussing my view and your profile with my colleagues, they were very
much satisfied and decided to contact you immediately for this mutual
business relationship.
We wish to transfer the sum of USD$36.000,000.00 (Thirty Six million
United States Dollars only.) into your personal or company's bank account
This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by
us for the supply of equiment,hard/soft wares, pharmaceuticals/medical
items relating to constructing tool's, light and heavy duty vehicles,
apparels and other administrative logistics etc for the Burkina Faso
Projects. This DEAL was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected
with all the attendant loop holes sealed off.
As the Chairman of CAC, I have the cooperation and mandate of the
Financial Director and the Secretary of the Organisation.
We arranged and over invoiced the contract funds supplied by different
companies from different countries. It was our consensus to seek the
assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to
transfer this money out of Burkina Faso.
This is borne out of our belief in the non-stable and sporous political
nature of this sub-egion.The original contractors have been duly paid
by the Bank of Africa Ouaga-Burkina-Faso in West Africa. (Bank of
Africa, Ouaga-Burkina-Faso in West Africa). Through our bankers - Societe
Generale Banque. This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting
claims by any foreign company of our choice. We intend to pay out this
fund NOW as the organization is winding up its activities and the coast
has been achieved. Based on the laws and ethics of employment, we as
civil servants working under this organization, are not allowed to
operate a foreign account. This is the more reason why we needed your
assistance to provide an account that can sustain this fund for safe keeping
and our future investment with your comprehensive advise, assistance and
partnership in your country.
It is however agreed, as the account owner in this deal to allow you
30% of the entire sum as compensation, 60% will be held on trust for us
while 10% will be used to defray any incidental charges and cost during
the course of the transaction.
This transaction will be successfully concluded within 14 days if you
accord us your unalloyed and due cooperation. You should provide the
followings;
YOUR COMPANY'S NAME WITH COMPLETE ADDRESS,
TEL AND FAX NUMBERS. (if available)
THE NAME OF YOUR BANK,
ITS ADDRESS WITH TEL, FAX AND TELEX NUMBERS AND YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER.
THE COMPLETE MAILING ADDRESS OF THE BENEFICIARY WITH TELEPHONE AND FAX
NUMBERS.
Upon the receipt of this information, the documents and approval with
the
text will be sent to you for confirmation and then forwarded to the
organization for ratification and subsequent payment. As with the case of
all organized (sensitive) and conspired DEALS, we solicit for your
unreserved confidentiality and utmost secret in this business. We hope to
retire peacefully and lead a honourable business life afterwards. There
are no risks involved regards in this business. I sugest you reply me
back for more intimate and details discussions.
Yours Faithfully.
Mr. ABDUL SALAMI USTAHD (ASU).”

“Dear sir, my name is Tony Phoney Baloney,

I think you are an idiot, please give me your bank account number so I can rob you blind,

Thanks for your help.”

“I received an email about a lottery from the Netherlands that would pay me 612,000 if I send them a copy of my id, and other info. No bank info required.I have not responded.”

“mr abdul salami?

that's great.”

“It's a scam. Don't reply.”

“Figured as much- thanks for the reply, bit!”

“I admitted a patient to a psychiatric hospital he was burned in a particularly nasty version of the Nigerian scam (involving a woman he met on line, so romance and desire were mingled with the classic phony checks).”

“I saw an article on 60 Minutes 2 about this scam and how some who got scammed went to Nigeria to get their money back and eventually lost their lives. Evidently, the country is ruthless and the Gov't is just as corrupt as the scammers.

Is it politically correct to call those from Nigeria "Nigers"?”

“My friend was selling an old car he had on eBay. A buyer from Nigeria contacted him. To make a long story short, it was a scam. They made there money by sending you a fake cashiers check from a ficticious bank in Florida for the cost of the vehicle plus shipping, which your stupid bank cashes. Then you send a good cashiers check for $3000 shipping cost to a phoney shipping company. By the time the bank finds out the cashiers check is no good, the scammers have about $3000 for the phoney shipping.”

“"Is it politically correct to call those from Nigeria "Nigers"?"

Reminds me of a time I was bar hopping with a buddy. We walked into one bar in particular and right away he failed to notice anything 'different' and just ordered two beers. I sat there and drank my beer and suggested we leave when we were done. He started shaking his head and looked around the bar. The next think I hear is, "Holy Shit! This place is full of fags!"”

“That's what happeened to this guy. Since he was so kind to her, she let him in on a chance to make money. She knew someone who needed an international cashiers check cashed, he could keep a huge piece of it if he helped out by wirting a check on his American bank after depositing . The idea is that money is gone by the time the check turns out to be bad - and the sucker is on the hook for it.”

“Hey a New One in my email (it slipped past spam filters):

Dear Sir,

I am Dr. Jan Misianik. and I represent Mr. MikhailKhordokovsky the
former
C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia. I have a very sensitive and
confidential
brief from this top (oligarch) to ask for your partnership in
re-profiling
funds US$42.3 Million. I will give the details, but in summary, the
funds
are coming via Bank Menatep. This is a legitimate transaction. You will
be
paid 8% for your "Management Fees".

If you are interested, please write back by email:
{Janmisianik33@excite.com} and provide me with your confidential
telephone
number,fax number and email address and I will provide further details
and
instructions. Please keep this confidential; we can?t afford more
political
problems. Finally, please note that this must be concluded within two
weeks.
Please write back promptly.Write me back. I look forward to it.

Regards,

Dr. Jan Misianik.







_____________________”

“Silent J...LMAO

That puts me in mind of Animal House when the boys are sitting in the bar then suddenly realize..oooops.

does the phrase "Mind if we dance wif your dates" ring any bells?”

“... and the author should not enter any spelling bees.

NIGERIA INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT
4TH FLOOR MARY LAND
LAGOS NIGERIA
MOTTO: SECURITY WATCH
From the desk of :MRS. ROSEMARY ANI.
Attention:BENEFICIAREIS
BE CAREFUL OF HOODLUMS.
Sir/Ma,
Based on the finding in this investigastion department we wish to warn
you against some touts.
We have been informed that some touts are contating you in respect to
the collection of your fund in the total sum of $35 Million U.S.A
Dollars that was long approved in your favour through the Wema Bank of
Nigeria.
As a matter of fact we have been on this investigation assignments for
some time codely known to no one but the Presidency and some top
government official who are in support of this investigation team to
help stop fraudalent activities in this country.
Although we have been able to come up with some good result about the
people that have extorted money from you illegally and i wish to list
them so that you will personally indicate them by writting back because
we want to make your payment to you without any delay but we must
surely deal and bring this names to book if only you will indicate
correctly
any of them.
The names of the Touts that have been arrested are as follows:
1) PROF CHARLES SOLODO
2) CHIEF JOSEPH SANUSI
3)DR. R.RASHEED
4) BARRISTER AWELE
6)BARRISTER UCHEUZO WILLIAMS.
7)Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Ebi
Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
8)Mr. Tunde Lemo Deputy Governor - Financial Sector Surveillance /
Board
Member
9)Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia
Deputy Governor - Corporate Services / Board Member
The above listed names are been traced/investigated by the police and
some of them have elope the country and note that if any of them is
caught and find guilty he/she we go to jailed for 25 years(twenty five
years) as it is under the Degree 47 of the constituition of this bank
under section of criminal law.
So we are waiting for you to write us and inform us if any of the
above names have once contacted you in respect to the your fund if yes
dont waste time to indicate it immediately. Note that the only office/paying bank that have right to pay or contact you in this Transfer is the Wema Bank of Nigeria which is been headed by the bank Governor. You must deal directly with them and do what so ever you are asked to do because that is the only way you will achive the success of the transaction.
We applogise on behalf of the President and the people of Nigeria for
any dealy and lost this most have coursed you and promise that such
thing will not happen again.And if you are dealing with any one of them
regarding this payment we urge you to stop because you are taking a big
risk and you never find your money any where because your money is
with the above named bank.
Finally, we are expecting to hear from you today
Thanks for your good understanding while we wait for your urgent
response to this mail.
Yours sincerely,
MRS. ROSEMARY ANI”

“Wow! Where do I sign up???


Easy Money!

:-)”

“I hate it when touts contate me!”

“I just signed up. All I have to give was my SS number, checking account number, Visa number.

I will be rolling in it soon!”

“Oh, you're rolling in it alright.”

“...and, yes, I am quite upset about the dealy this has coursed me!”

“Injustice for almost all
By Brian McGrory | September 16, 2005

Every once in a while, usually for brief periods of time, the world starts to gain the veneer of sanity.

Papi hits another game-winning home run. The moronic head of FEMA is sent packing from New Orleans. George W. Bush accepts blame for the miserable federal response to Katrina.

Then, just when you think that all the pieces are falling into place and that maybe, just maybe, this collective life isn't so crazy after all, something happens to remind you that, yes, in fact, it really is.

Take the case of Nancy Gertner, Palmer & Dodge, and an especially repugnant criminal by the name of Daniel LaPlante.

By way of acquaintance, Gertner is a US District Court judge. Palmer & Dodge is an elite downtown law firm.

Daniel LaPlante is a convicted triple murderer and not just any triple murderer, either. He broke into a neighbor's house in rural Townsend in 1987, raped and executed the pregnant mother who lived there, then drowned her 7-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son in separate bathtubs. He smirked at the jury that convicted him.

The Superior Court judge who presided over his trial, Robert Barton, now retired, said: ''Of the 150 murder cases I heard, he is one of only five that I would personally have no problem pulling the switch on the electric chair myself. He was incorrigible, he would never be rehabbed, and we'd be wasting our money feeding and clothing him."

We've also wasted our money doing something else: pushing a lawsuit on his behalf. Which is where Gertner and Palmer & Dodge fit in.

In 2001, LaPlante complained about his safety in prison, and he was placed under extensive lockup. Unhappy with that, he sued state officials in federal court. Among other complaints, he said he wasn't given unfettered access to the prison law library. He said he was mislabeled as a sex offender. He complained that officials intercepted ''sexually explicit" photographs mailed to him. He said a guard stole his shower shoes.

Palmer & Dodge took the case, supposedly pro bono, though please read on. In fact, it didn't just take the case, it seemed to devote itself to it, assigning a partner, a senior associate, a midlevel associate, and a junior associate -- four lawyers in all.

Before I go on, spare me the argument from all the Lexus Liberals that even the most heinous criminals have the right to legal representation. They do. But is a convicted murderer really entitled to a battery of downtown lawyers because he wasn't getting access to the library and his pornographic pictures in the mail?

Palmer & Dodge won the suit, and, lo and behold, its pro bono work wasn't free any more. Federal law allows a firm to submit a bill when it wins a civil rights case, and it did: $125,000 in all. Judge Gertner ordered the state to pay $99,981 of it.

That bears repeating: State taxpayers spent $100,000 on behalf of a convicted killer who slaughtered a pregnant woman and her kids.

''We did it as efficiently as we could," said George Olson, a Palmer & Dodge partner. ''When we took the case, we didn't expect to be compensated."

Of course not.

Gertner blamed the state Department of Correction for fighting the suit and running up legal costs. She didn't respond to a message yesterday.

Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly was the assistant district attorney who prosecuted LaPlante on murder, and I called him to see if he remembered the case.

''I'll take that case to my grave," he said, quietly recounting the green OshKosh overalls that the little boy wore when they pulled his body from the tub. He described LaPlante as a constant escape risk who, given the chance, would absolutely kill again.

''To be worried about his civil rights?" he added. ''The victims had no civil rights. He executed them."

In short, LaPlante gets top-shelf legal representation. Palmer & Dodge gets another hundred grand. And as too often happens, state taxpayers get nothing more than the bill.

Brian McGrory is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at mcgrory@globe.com.”

“This is why I had a hard time bringing a child into this world.”

“»¿
Â
 Our Ref : EFCC/NIG/FGN/21218864

  Your Ref
...............................

Â
Date.....................................

                                                     FUNDS
RECOVERY
NOTIFICATION.


This is to officially notify you that after due
investigation and assessment from our websites and inquiries,
the
Economic & financial crime commission (EFCC) have discovered
that you
are one of the victims of advance fee fraud known as 419
activities.


This commission (EFCC) has the power to assist you recover all
your
money (s) and also compensate you accordingly as part of
President
OLUSEGUN OBASANJO'S program on anti-corruption programs in
Nigeria and
Africa at large. The EFCC is in partnership with FBI & CIA and
other
security agencies in the world to see that you recover all your
funds
lost to the fraudsters in the past.

May I also inform you that
Nigerian government has agreed & also budgeted over us$2 billion
dollars to pay off victims just to redeem the great image of our
country and if you go to Nigerian websites you will see that the
commission EFCC is on daily basis working to put an end to this
illegal
act?

If you know any one or any information on how this fraudsters
can be apprehended by the commission EFCC, pls do not hesitate
to alert
us on our contacts below and also due visit our websites for
further
clarifications and immediate attention. Regarding your funds
re-payment
to you, you are requested to re-confirm the followings for
immediate
attention and further instructions to your payment.

1. YOUR NAME IN
FULL.
2. PHONE, FAX & CELL #.
3. AMOUNT INVOLVED.
4. CONTACTS OF
FRAUDSTERS. (if any)
5. AGE, PROFESSION & COPY OF DRIVERS LICENSE OR
INT'L PASSPORT.
6. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE TRANSACTION?

You are
hereby advised to work & cooperate closely with the Chairman of
the
commission and due make use of the contacts details below for
immediate
re-funds of your payment.

Congratulations in advance.

 Yours
faithfully.

MALLAMÂ NUHU RIBADU.
CHAIRMANÂ EFCC.
Direct Number: 234-1-
4367107
fax number   : 234-1-7590130.
Mobile           : 234-80-
60356079.
Websites         :www.efccnigeria.org”

“Check out the "Ig Noble Awards" thread!!”

“Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency
(NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
tip@nasrda.gov.ng”

“Ever read the Nigerian Scam buster pages? LOL Hilarious stuff”

“He's floating in a most peculiar way.”

“Ground Control to Major Abacha?”

“The longtime treasurer of Alcona County was accused Wednesday in an embezzlement scheme in which he may have served as both perpetrator and victim, sending up to $1.25 million in county funds and his own life savings to con artists after falling for one of the notorious online Nigerian banking frauds.

Thomas Katona, 56, of Harrisville was charged with nine felonies, including embezzlement and fraud, after a monthlong investigation by state authorities of numerous unauthorized wire transfers he allegedly made of county funds to overseas bank accounts.

The accounts were allegedly controlled by operators of a Nigerian advance fee fraud, law enforcement officials said.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070118/NEWS06/701180305”

“Awful... I grew up in Greenbush, the next town south on US-23 from Harrisville. My monther pays taxes to Alcona County.”

“OFFICE OF THE HEAD OF SENATE

FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTION PANEL ON COMPENSATION PAYMENT)
PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA

SCAMMED VICTIM/1 MILLION COMPENSATION PRIZE. REF/PAYMENTS CODE:06654 1MILLION USD.

This is to bring to your notice that The Nigeria Senate House delegated from the United Nations to pay 100 Nigerian 419 scam victims $1 Million each; you are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims.

On this faithful recommendations, I want you to your notice that during the last UN meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarmed so much by the rest of the world in the meetings on the lose of funds by various foreigners to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today, in other to retain the good image of the country, the president of the country is now paying 100 victims of this operators $1 Million USD each. Due to the corrupt and inefficient banking systems in Nigeria, the payment are to be paid by Office of the Paymaster General Federal Republic of Nigeria Dr. John Udala as corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

According to the number of applicants at hand, 84 beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States, we still have more 20 left to be paid the compensations of $1 Million each. Your particulars was mentioned by one of the syndicates who was arrested in Lagos Nigeria as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever, the US secret service is already on trace of the criminals.
For more vital information, please visit:
http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/news1jul.htm

You can receive your compensations payment via any of the both options you choose by ATM CARD CASH PAYMENT or WIRE TRANSFERS,

Now you are directed to contact the Office of the Paymaster General Federal Republic of Nigeria Dr. John Udala immediately so that he will pay you and fax you the payment Copy Slip.

Contact Person Dr. John Udala Email: john_udala2@yahoo.com Direct cell phone number +234-805-120-3272, Contact him now and inform him that you received an email from The Federal House of Senate Federal Republic of Nigeria, Instructing you to call him for immediate release of your compensation Funds and forward your Details to his office to avoid transfer mistake.

NOTE : We have mounted our security network to monitor every in-coming call, if we still find out that you are still dealing with all those fraudsters that have been frustrating, We shall stop and cancel your payment immediately .

Best Regards


DR. KENNETH NNAMANI Dr. Uffort Ekaette
SENATE PRESIDENT Secretary of the federation”

“If anyone is interested in getting their money out of Nigeria, contact me, we have agent there.”

“argh.”

“I've only had eight million emails on that one...........”