One of "those" days.

“You ever have one of "those" days? They say when life gives you lemons... make lemonaid. Well I'm tired of lemonaid goddamnit I want a beer every now and then.

OK... I think that vent will hold me over for the next 10 minutes.”

“Well, trade it for lemon vodka.”

“Get any new shoes?”

“why do you ask WK?

LOL”

“kamikaze, yum.”

“KAMIKAZE

INGREDIENTS
• 1 oz - Vodka
• 1 oz - Triple Sec
• 1 oz - Lime Juice


Mix ingredients with ice well to chill. Strain into a low ball glass.”

“"Always look on the bright side of life... (whistle, whistle, whistle)"”

“Nope... no shoes in a while. I did pick up a buncha clothes at TJmax though!”

“I only drink the blood of my enemies, and maybe a strawberry yoohoo …”

“Woman jailed for ripping off lover's testicle

12 minutes ago


LONDON (Reuters) - A woman has been sentenced to two and a half years in jail for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours".

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

Her lawyer said on Thursday her client had little memory of the night.”