My wonderful neighbors

“Yeah, plant a nice bush that will just bush right out next year right on the edge of your property. It’s on your side but whatever grows onto his side is his to maintain. Be sure to keep your side nice and trimmed so his die looks like shlt. LOL!”

“go ahead and fire the bushup yourself. when the guy comes out start running around the yard chanting Yahweh...then if he walks over tell him he's gotta kick off his shoes cause he's walking on sacred ground...this could get even better.
last edited: 10/14/05 9:22:33 AM”

“Good idea, dayhiker! Maybe I'll go over to Home Despot this weekend and pick out the ugliest bush I can find. Even better, maybe I'll plant a female gingko tree there. The one down the street is dropping its seed pods right now. Ever smell squashed gingko seed pods? They smell like dog crap. And the wind usually blows from my house toward his! Score!”

“CreatureofhabETTE, you are quicky becoming the funniest woman I know. LOL!”

“I want video!”

“They smell worse than dog crap BM, especially when the weather is still hot. Jeez they're enough to make you puke.”

“Both of those are great.”

“ginkgo trees DO smell revolting, LOL...good idea!”

“Fortunately, the rest of the gingkos on the street are males!”

“Guess what. I just saved a bunch of money on y car insurence by switching to Geico.

”

“it's getting real close to holloween...you should decorate it with lots of nice flammable holloween decorations, maybe even put a nice dry bail of straw next to it and a scarecrow”

“Shape the bush so it looks like a face sticking its tounge out at your neighbor.”

“or better yet a hand flipping the bird!!”

“Still have their Christmas lights on!!! Also their christmas tree is still up!! They have no little children!”

“AND its florida!!! WHO the heck has christmas in FLORIDA??? :O!”

“did you check to see if they're still alive??”

“You might want to sniff around a bit there.”

“They are waiting for the next hurricane to remove it for them.”

“The lights are off during the day, well they could have them on a timer. Ha ha

Oh yeah and they have one of those HUGE inflatable snowmen that lit up too!”

“there might be some truth in that SC...”

“Ug - I hate those inflatable things! There's still one up near me. I want to shoot it so it'll die!”

“you think thats bad? I have a neighbor that has halloween yard crap all over her yard...AND it lights up at night!”

“Smiley LOL!!!

Okay SC you win! Halloween! Jeez!!”

“I'll have to take a picture to prove it :)”

“I want to market a gutter system that has lights in it so all you have to do is throw a switch for Christmas...........(remember, this is MY idea). I'll call it "GutterGlo"..LOL.
last edited: 1/18/06 8:15:11 PM”

“The upstairs squatter OCD-Alcholic neighbor just knocked on our door:

Squatter: "Can I use your Oven?"
Dani: "No"

End of conversation. LOL. And yes, it's quiet entertaining to watch an alcoholic OCD come home but usually it's damn annoying.”

“He probably wanted a safer place to hide some stuff.”

“I dunno. He seems to be losing it. Methinks he's off any meds he should be taking.”

“I just had an interesting experience with some of my neighbors. There's the ones to the north of me, in general; they're all involved. And there's the people 3 houses north, and on the block behind us. They are the reason for this particular posting. I can't say I'll miss the wildlife too much, if they're sort of human.

I'm going up to Charlotte NC early tomorrow morning. I'm trying to get the car packed and the house cleaned tonight. So I just took another load out to the car, and I hear this honking noise. It's very loud, and I notice the people in the next house north are out their yard looking for the noise too. Then I notice them; some people having sex in their back yard by the light of the tiki torches. The woman is honking away like a goose in distress. I can hear the man grunting the entire time. I don't know what they were braced against, since they have a 6 foot privacy fence that is woefully inadequate when one is standing 4 feet above the ground on one's front porch. I start hearing catcalls and whistling from other houses around here; the woman getting the action starts yelling "They can see us! They can see us!" The man's just pounding away saying "I don't care!" I went back in my house and got the toy trumpet Laurel has; it sounds like several squeakie toys going at the same time, somewhat honk-like. :)
The woman finally says "Okay that does it! You stop now!" I don't know if she was talking to me or husband/ boyfriend/ whatever
because we were all laughing too hard at them.”

“pics?



(someone had to ask)


:)”

“Nope, no pics thank god.”

“tree, years ago I had an apartment and the neighbor behind me had a rather vocal girlfriend who could be heard OUTSIDE the building. The design of the bedrooms meant out bed backed up to a common wall.

One morning they were getting "jiggy wit it" and I walked over pounded on the wall and said, "Hit'er in the other one...I did."”

“Both stories are hilarious. They had lights on and were 2' below fence line and didn't want to be seen? That guy knew they would be seen and just didn't point out this fact to the wife...sounds like.

That's great on the horn too.
last edited: 11/03/06 8:46:42 AM”

“It looks like now you and HPM have to keep up with the joneses, and try to out do them....lol”

“Years ago I had to sit in on a termination hearing for a firefighter who had gotten caught "Flagrante Delecto" in a truck.

Apparently he had checked out a reserve truck one Saturday afternoon to do some 'driver's training". We heard the truck go in service for the training.

Then about ten minutes later the radio opened up. In this truck the front seat was a BENCH seat that had a two separate cushions, you could get three people on the front seat but the seat itself was two cushions. Since the clip for the microphone was old it was often easier to drop the mic on the seat when you were driving rather than clipping it back on the radio. Apparently the mic had gotten wedge between the cushions....

So we hear this static and a girl say, "This is neat, are you sure this is okay?'
Then we hear the fireman say,"Yeah everyone does it."
Then next thing we hear is, "I always wanted to do this, thats why I didn't wear any underwear...."

After that it got rather obscene and somewhat pornographic. We got a literal "blow-by-blow" description of this couple doing the spotted shark dance.

The best part was just as they are starting to hit the moment from no return you hear the door open (LOL). Apparently the Chief had called the Duty Captain and sent him to find the truck. But for about 10 minutes we were in stitches as we listened to the radio.”

“That sounds like an episode of Rescue Me. LOL!”

“Yep, it's an interesting neighborhood.”

“LOL to both stories.”

“Are you sure it was a woman and are you sure you don't live by Ted Haggard?”

“No idea.
The gay couple in our neighborhood is much more discreet.

I just have these visions of some dude banging away slapping some chicks butt yelling...
"HONK LIKE A GOOSE BABY! DADDY LIKES IT WHEN YOU MIGRATE!"


I'm going to go claw my eyes out now.”

“LOL...HPM. We had an older guy (60 ish) who had married a 20 something and one evening they were making the beast with two backs. Well they had decided to try the HALL WAY. So she is holding on to the railing of the hallway above the first floor and he is going for it. The railing gives out and they go over. She broke her pelvis, and he broke an arm, and a leg. The bad part is that his 15 year old daughter came home and found them out cold.”

“charlie my neighbor passed away last night. i have to tell you he was the best neighbor i have ever had. he never ever said anything bad. with all of parties we have had and some well into the night, he never said stop and hush up. real stand up guy. he used to trim my hedges sometimes.


Charlie you were a great neighbor and you will be missed :(

hug your neighbor if you like them”

“My neighboor drinks Busch Light and watches NASCAR”

“My neighbor wears a hat like this guy.

”

“Hope that gun isn't loaded!”

“He doesn’t mess with me because he knows I have a bigger arsenal.”

“My wonderful neighbors?

          No Comment.”

“My neighbor wears a hat like this one. My dog loves him.

”

“lol your all nuts!”

“Sorry about your neighbor btw. It's always a nervous time when you know you'll be getting new neighbors. No telling who may be moving in next.”