The Name Calling Thread

“Rules:

Names will be judged on the following criteria in order:

1. Humor
2. Creativity
3. Sting
4. Use of backpacking phrases

The winner gets a free compliment from each of the losers. I'm the final judge. The game ends at 3:00pm ET Friday, March 25.

BTW, anyone getting ignored due to a name call gets bonus points.

GO!”

“butt-crack-spelunker”

“What the heck did that 'biner-brain Phaedrus have to say anyways? I've ignored him a long time ago.”

“How appropo. Phaedrus hosting a name calling thread.”

“Sorry, I couldn't do any better than "BBW" for you. Speaking of "appropo".”

“Boot-snifen-tentpole-smugglen-thermarest-busten-crosseyed-map-readen-son of a -monkey-horse$hit-slingen-hiker.

that should cover all the criteria.”

“My boy, violin, will put all of you naughty boys to shame!”

“Dogdeepthroating Bushvoter.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence StoveStomper.”

“How appropo. Phaedrus hosting a name calling thread.

LOL! And he's not even losing a debate!! Liberals sure are amusing.”

“Give them heck, honeybun!”

“Douchebag slapdick!”

“Violin's nanny? Why you couldn't keep an eye on a stuffed animal, you dizzy, floor mopping, pencil-neck, mucus sucking, crampon toting son of an aardvaark!”

“Red-haired, flat-chested, whining, Pennsy's-tent-hogging, obnoxious, boring, flabby-thighed-failed-dancer, needs-a-compass-to-navigate-an-elevator, spreads-her-legs-for-anyone-with-a-TT-account, Twinkle Toes”

“Now, I can't give any real grades until Friday, but I have to say... niiice.”

“Friday !! why you thread-starten,name-callen,
violins nanny-licken, never-met-you-before-so-I'm-assuming, and just-because-I'm-bored, but-still-getting-paid-to-type-this,hiker-dude.”

“You mud-covered tent stake.








(shoved through a steaming pile of bear crap that was pissed on by a pack of wild coyotes)”

“Calling Phaedrus, calling Phaedrus.

There, your name has been called.”

“Umm... BOOOOOOOO!!”

“I thought that was pretty good! :-)”

“Hey tech! How was the FEMA concentration camp? Did they reprogram you?

Phaed you froggy fag lovin' Frenchman!

too obvious?”

“skinhead-wart-on-a-chair


Maybe we should insult the previous poster sorta like the "let's play a game" thread.
last edited: 3/23/05 2:55:55 PM”

“Wormtounge, because he speaketh in whisperings and with many a forked barb, plus he stooped lower than the low, when he dissed my mother...May the hair on his back transplant its growth area to the top of his tounge.”

“stick-makin'-sack”

“Dirty, stinkin', wantin to have Jimmi Hendrix’s baby, patchouli wearin' commie hippy! :)

Never change MarkO!”

“MarkO was that a slight towards me?”

“I'm just a new guy here and don't really know anyone well enough to call them names, but you have to wonder just who the stump water sucking, swamp mud stinking bear scat chewing nasty mouthed roach eared son of a feather merchant who started this thing is.”

“dakotahike is obviously a troll, as the account was opened today. whoever you really are, yours is the funniest so far”

“that was a slam at twinkle toes”

“of course it was. thats why im sure that its a regular trolling.”

“Phaedrus, you, you, you ... Ohio Hiker!”

“your mothers an oryx”

“Oh yeah? Well, you're a Buddha Bear wannabe!”

“You incapable loaf of putrid turkey puke.

you drivelling stack of fossilised skunk waste.

You are a shockingly revolting vermin and a gaudy, gossip-mongering curse on society”

“I've got a TT account, but if ya can not dance, ya ain't fer me. hehe”

“Fascist, Pinko, Commie dog”

“Stikmon, you once called me ButtPlugDriver and I have yet to recover.”

“hey dakotahike you left these out about Twinky Toes

white skinned, big nose, deep throated, no butt, its all about me, wishes she was scorchy, be in school forever, ruin a guys life, smelly chelle witch. I mean all of this in the nicest way...lol”

“You people would not even qualify as Monty Python's Upper Class Twits! Dan Quayle and Ice Tea can spell better that you guys can name call. Gore Tex has a better chance of climbing Everest without oxygen than you guys have of coming up with good insults. You're all dumber than Ohio Hiker. If you ever rob banks, you'll all end up on the Stupid Criminal Tricks thread. Any wonder that Marvin Gardens doesn't post here anymore? He doesn't want to associate with people who can't make sense!”

““MarkO was that a slight towards me?”
Stikmon
3:36:52 PM
3/23/05

Well, I've now seen two of your sticks and they have sacks.

Aren't I clever?

Stikmon, I suppose it was a slight slight.


Geo, you are a crustified street dog turd, the kind that has lain in the sun on the piss-soaked, cracked concrete long enough to become bleached and desiccated.”

“"Hey tech! How was the FEMA concentration camp? Did they reprogram you?" - Nigal

Huh?”

“You disappeared in mid post on the consperecy thread so I figured the FEMA thugs got ya. Obviously they have wiped your memory clean.

Another one bites the dust!”

“Who are you? Where am I? Hey, what are those guys in the white lab coats doing here with that really big syringe full of”

“MOLE! Moley moley moley moley! MOLE! Bloddy MOLE!”

“Yo MarkO....

you Cantaloupe Turd!”

“In addition to all your other shortcomings, y'all don't know when you've been beaten.”

““hey dakotahike you left these out about Twinky Toes

white skinned, big nose, deep throated, no butt, its all about me, wishes she was scorchy, be in school forever, ruin a guys life, smelly chelle witch.”

"Deep throated," huh?

Hmm... when's the next Harriman trip?”

“A young couple , a Long Island princess and her childhood
sweetheart who had just finished his residency got married and
went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride
immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so
how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So
romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon
as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language
-- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful
4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "Calm down! You need to stay
with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could
be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter,
"I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME,
PLEASE!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so
upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words
like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.”

“Okay, I'm ending it a little early. First place is obvious:

“Red-haired, flat-chested, whining, Pennsy's-tent-hogging, obnoxious, boring, flabby-thighed-failed-dancer, needs-a-compass-to-navigate-an-elevator, spreads-her-legs-for-anyone-with-a-TT-account, Twinkle Toes”
dakotahike
11:14:56 AM
3/23/05

Second place is succinct and has lots of sting:

“Phaedrus, you, you, you ... Ohio Hiker!”
Geobeet
2:32:03 PM
3/23/05

Third place is a lesson in cliche:

“Dirty, stinkin', wantin to have Jimmi Hendrix’s baby, patchouli wearin' commie hippy! :)

Never change MarkO!”
Nigal
1:08:37 PM
3/23/05

Have a loveley day, Dakota, you da man!”

“Dang, and that was just my second best. It was the more succinct, though.”