Got a strange package.

“This week, we received a package for my wife's stepmother, from someone whose name we don't recognize. We emailed her and asked if she had bought something and had it shipped to our house. She emailed back and said no, she hadn't.

My wife's stepmother hasn't lived with us for almost three years, which was while she was in the middle of a nasty divorce from my wife's father.

Should I return it to the sender, open it myself and see what's in it, call the cops, what?

Isn't paranoia wonderful?”

“Forward it to the wife's stepmother.
Problem becomes hers.”

“Dare ya.

(Keep us posted.)”

“She lives in Curacao. I suppose we could do this anyway, but it would be expensive. It was also sent UPS, so I couldn't just forward it anyway.

I am trying to think of clever ways to open it from a distance, just in case there's "a big surprise" inside.”

“If Spirit Coyote would have started this thread, I would have thought she was referring to something in CMB's pants!”

“Or it would be a jar with a fart in it, or something like that.”

“I Double Dog Dare Ya!!!
Open it, but only after soaking under water for 2 days. (the package, not bitpusher)”

“I'm curious.

BTW,. soak 'em both and keep us posted.”

“See, the really curious part is that today is my daughter's birthday, so normally we would expect something from my wife's stepmother for our daughter this week. (We are still on good terms with her)

It just seems suspicious.”

“Call in the FBI....”

“She got any enemies that want her dead?
The StepMom, not your little girl.”

“Yes, her ex-husband, my wife's father, my kids' grandfather.”

“I SENT it.

It’s a NOVEL FROM THE FUTURE for your daughter’s birthday.

HOPE SHE likes it.”

“Come to think of it, with the way preteen girls are nowadays, she might just have enemies that want her dead. ;-)”

“lol, well I hope not. But that would certainly be a roundabout way of doing it.

I realize I am being paranoid here. I almost opened it myself last night.

There's a clear return address on the package, with a name. I will probably try and contact this person and figure out what it is.”

“I'm with Marvin.”

“Maybe it's those "cookie girls" doing their thing. :o)”

“Those damn do-gooders! =)

Bit, tell us what happens after you contact the person (and hopefully open the package).”

“lol...maybe!

You think maybe I could sue and become a pariah? Oh wait too late...”

“Well, if I don't get back to y'all later this evening, I've gone to that big mainframe in the sky...”

“We could treat you like a pariah if you want.”

“Maybe I should get one of those free Frostys first...”

“Look for bodyparts as you eat.”

“OK”

“You've got a strange package?

I understand plastic surgeons can do amazing things these days.”

“Personal experience Violin?”

“The Vile Man is pretty dang strange.”

“But what about his package?”

“Yeah bit, go ahead and open that package on Friday the 13th! Good move!”

“weird, bitpusher!

Marvin Gardens, what an appropriate day to make an appearance...speaking of the 13th.”

“Oh you mean getting the package. Yes.

I thought for a moment you were calling me weird, which would be akin to calling water "wet". OK.”

“you said it, not me!”

“Yup.”

“Speaking of weird, how's the monkeys doing, lyra. Haven't heard about them for a while.”

“oh, ya know, they're monkeying around!”

“RIP that sucker open real fast....”

“RIP=Rest In Peace...”

“OK, so I was killed.




Just kidding.

It was a mother's day gift for my wife's stepmother from my brother-in-law. He sent it thru a third party, and never bothered to tell us it was coming.”

“so what was it? fancy panties?”

“Um, yah, that's it.”