The B@tch

“now that you are no longer screwing around with her, ...






















how about some contact info ....”

“manuka, I was waiting for someone to say that..lol”

“LOL, Well have at her boys just don't get emotionaly attached.”

“jr - Ouch! I'm sorry for the pain, but you dodged a bullet there. It's a good thing you have no vows, or children to consider.

She cheated on you. Then she lied to you (or was lying to the other guy). The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

And Manuka even if you don't believe in exclusivity - honesty also counts for something.

I agree with Lee and Sarge.

And, don't let her take away your ability to trust. If you do, she will have cheated you of much more than she already has.”

“Ped, where has she been dishonest ? she says she loves him, why is that a lie if she also loves someone else ?

I have a wife and children, I love my wife, I also love my children, I love my father and brothers and sisters, does that make me a dishonest person ?

What the girl is accused of is sending "I love you" and "I miss you" text messages to another guy. That is the basis of the cheating and dishonesty. Nothing indicated they were having or had had sex, or ever intended to. There is platonic love also.

I think the hanging party is a little premature on the evidence I have seen.

When you do love someone, you do not 'own' them. Isolating partners from their friends is a controlling behavior, not a loving behavior. This is not suggesting anything about Irohner because I simply do not know enough about any of the parties involved to make any such judgement, but I have seen people get all bent out of shape on incorrect information before.

Love is not just a zero score in tennis, it is also frequently a form of address in the UK and some of the former colonies. I get e-mail signed 'love ..." from wives of friends, family members, ex-GF's (yes my wife knows and has met some, we just stayed friends) etc all the time, it is a term of affection, nothing more.”

“I tell my wife that I own her all the time!”

“but honest abe abolished slavery WK.

Oops my bad, he only abolished it in the Southern States right!”

“Manuka... she told jr she didn't love the guy - so she lied to at least one of them.”

“Geez - this was an advertised troll, but I'd still be doing it with a little more style if I could remember to log out before I post as me. Yikes!”

“manuka - uh, yeah. Right. An engaged woman does not send a message of "I love you" to a single man. And it doesn't matter if there wasn't any sex, emotional infidelity is just as bad all by itself. And even worse, it often leads to the physical infidelity.”

“And I thought the Taliban was in Afghanistan.
Stoning is so old testament.”

“Manuka, from you earlier: "So you want exclusive love from this girl.
Maybe she loves both of you. Does she love you less because she loves him too ?"

You have asserted in several ways now, including in your latest posts, that the situation is OK. Seems like you are trying to legitamize that girl's cheating, when she is (was) engaged and therefore in a monogamous relationship. Any of her male friends needs to be known to her fiance - if he doesn't know about them, that's wrong. And she should not be sending them messages of "I love you".

How many people do you currently love - in the intimate way - right now?”

“right now, .. none,

because I am at work LOL.”

“You aren't a dumb guy, you know what I mean. I don't mean someone that you are boinking right now, but a relationship where you love them in that way. Husband/wife thing.

Sounds to me like you do have an intimate relationship with more than one person right now. In a situation that should normally be monogamous. I'm not talking about a single guy in his 20's that gets around on Saturday night - there is no expectation of monogamy there.”

“Just when I thought this thread was dead. I would have to disagree with manuka due to the fact I was flexible and did allow her to have her own time with friends and go out. I even allowed friends of the opposite sex (one of these friends of her is the 20 year old single guy) On the other hand I was pretty much forced to stop talking to all forms of females except my sisters and now that I look back on it she would get upset when I would hang out with them. Just like she got really pissed off when I told her there was two girls on the Yellow River State forrest trip.

To make a long story short and please don't make fun but she owned me then cheated on me. I know she cheated because even as she was saying I love you to me her cell phone would ring it would be him and she told him to come over and for me to leave.

So I was replaced before I walked out the door. I just have to keep telling myself I'm moving on to better things now.”

“irohner, I specifically said that I was not suggesting that you were, I said I have seen possesive relationships and they are not pretty. Also said I do not know enough to make any sort of judgement on your situation.

Now you make a post that would indicate you were in such a relationship with her being the possessive.
Regardless of the cheating, or not cheating, you are better out because it does not seem that you two have the same values.

Patience, there are 300 million people in the US. Half are women 150 Mil, half of those are children leaving 75 mil. There has got to be at least 10 million women in your age range, one has got to be perfect, you will find each other as long as you have not settled for something less in the meantime.

Dont be desperate, be yourself and you will find her.”

“I love when people avoid questions, especially really incriminating ones.”

“Not avoiding techntrek, ignoring.
Who what and how many people I have relationships with has no bearing on your life.

I feel no obligation to satisfy your idle curiosity, and my life is certainly not interesting enough to sell newspapers.”

“check out the im hurting thread---”

“Not idle curiosity, manuka. There is a point. You have implied several times here - on a thread from a guy that is deeply hurt - that what she did isn't a big deal, and maybe even OK. We can all dismiss your blase' attitude and opinion towards cheating since you are just trying to justify your own actions.

On another thread regarding cheating I had this same go-round with another TTer. One thing I learned about cheaters - they lie their butts off to cover their tracks and then lie to themselves about the validity of their actions.”

“manuka,
Just to let you know I'm not trying to argue with you. You where right as the whole story wasn't told so how could one start to make judgement. I'm seeing things from just my side to it makes perfect sense to me. But yes she was controlling and possessive even threatened to break up with me over my trip I have planed in Glacier in August with two guys. Well guess I don't have to worry about her doing that anymore.”

“Ironer,
I am jealous of your Glacier trip, the nearest I have got is the Colorado rockies. After the first hour on the trail she will be history, have a blast.”

“techntrek,

What actions am I trying to justify ?

Oh! the ones you have assumed I have done because of your prejudice.

Judge not lest you be judged.
But you probably are correct in that we do not have the same values, I like to hear both sides, and see the evidence before pronouncing judgement. You will not hear my side because I am not on trial and the only judgement you can make on me is to not associate with me. As we have never met I can probably live with that.

I am amused in your positions here; ditch the b1tch, while telling the other hurting person it can all be saved. The difference is that one is after a marriage ceremony and the other was (just) before that same ceremony. One was a 7.5 year relationship, the other a 4 year relationship and your advice is the exact opposite.

Have a great weekend, heck have a great year :-)”

“Yes, different positions, based on context.

UP, on his thread, is married and still in love with his wife. That is worth saving.

jrohner isn't married, and now sees just how controlling she was. And how tenuous the bond was. Not worth saving.

Two completely different situations.

Why would you expect a favorable reaction on a thread about someone's hurt and pain due to cheating, when you basically tell the guy cheating is OK and oh, maybe he misunderstood her?

Your prejudice is showing, too.”