I'm Hurting

“These guys are right. Let your lawyer do the work and tell him you want to be fair. Don't screw yourself, but be fair. If there's going to be a fight over something little, just say its yours, its not worth the fight. Let the rage burn out and start concentrating on making your life happy again. If you want revenge, that is the best there is... to let her see you being happy again. But you have to do it without sticking it in her face. Otherwise, it just becomes a game of who can get one up on the other. Once you start letting her go things will get easier. I promise.”

“this is your test. be strong and survive it. the only advice I have to add is "keep your mouth shut". You're paying for a mouth peice, let the lawyer be it. give all details to him, and don't share your knowledge with your soon to be ex. Leave on terms that will satisfy your soul. Don't be a pig. Always be able to look into the mirror and see yourself as a decent person.

Come to SE Missouri and float a river and let it all go! Go to the Grand Canyon and sit at the edge of dissaster and let the wind take from you what you most want to get rid of. Watch a sunset, then sleep a good sleep and then watch the following sunrise. That is YOU. Let one moment go and then welcome in the next moment with a smile on your face.

As Mack Bolen says..."Stay hard!"”

“If her e mail is displaying her true feelings it sounds like she is just trying to keep a slight hold on you -maybe you are a backup for her in case things dont work out with her boyfriend-in that case you need to get out soon -you need to be selfish -to keep your best interest in mind-to pretend she does not exist any more and get on with your life-good luck man--”

“Youve got mail”

“you're so much better off without her. It'll take time but you're come to realise it.”

“Many many good advice on here for Ultra and myself who was engaged to my GF of 3.5 years to find out she was cheating on me as well. One good piece of advice I got was when ever you feel the need to contact her via email, phone call or anything else call someone else.
Call your buddy or your family. I found that just the act of calling even if they didn't pick up was enough to get it out of my system.

Also this may sound crazy but if you have anything you ever wanted to do something(and your capable of doing it) then go do it. Go do those things you've been putting off or perhaps some place you haven't visited.

Myself it was a motorcycle I've wanted on for years and years. After I broke up with my ex I went out and got one. Every time I ride its like a soul clensing experince where I can get washed away in my thoughts.
Be strong and don't cave in.

I had my ex try 3 times since we broke to try and get back with me. The 2:00 AM drunk phone calls saying she made a mistake. But people are right it does feel great to say no and I do not want to get back together.
Move on meet new people and bring in new experince into your life to fill the void that she left.
last edited: 6/07/05 8:22:41 AM”

“Today I file for divorce.

I think next summer I'm going to go out to Yellowstone as a treat to myself.”

“Awesome make sure to post the trip dates and I'll join ya.”

“your on your way to a better life--”

“Yeah Ultra, maybe I can join you out there too!”

“you've been in my thoughts anyway. i have a feeling you will be much happier in the end.”

“UP,

Drunk off my ass right ow so who knows what I'm typin' I'm there too now, kindo of where oou are but not eacatly, bu if you plan something for Yellowstone next tsummer let me know, I'll be living in Devner dthen adn always wateted to go the the thoroughfare, spefcifically thourofgare to south boundary, look inoto it.”

“Well the WAR has started. We both have attorneys now. Mine is filing today. I don't know if her's has filed yet or not. I think she went to an attorney for the first time yesterday. I changed the locks and disconnected the garage door opener so she has no access to the house. I spoke with her yesterday. She didn't know I changed the locks and was coming by to get some clothes. I told her I need to be there and the reason why. She flipped out. She finally got an attorney because of it. She called me last night at work and told me she took some stuff from the house. When I got home the door mat and lawn furniture was gone. She also told me that she was advised by her attorney that changing the locks on the house was illegal. I told her to have me arrested. I work for a local Sheriff's Department as a corrections officer so I had already asked several police officers and my attorney if it was ok to change the locks and they said I could. I don't know what law school her attorney went to but he must not of graduated. I have the local Sheriff's Department doing welfare checks on my house why I'm at work.”

“One good thing has come of this. Since this all started about a month ago I've lost 17lbs! I've started exercising everyday and eating better. I've went from 210 to 193.”

“I am not so sure you can keep her out of the house as of yet. The house is still in her name also which gives her every right to go in until something is written up saying she can't. Remember she can live in that house until you divorce. No one can force her to move out.”

“Work on those "Pec"s so that when she sees you in court, she'll wonder why she gave it all up.”

“She moved out voluntarily. I'm just protecting myself. I haven't denied her anything. I told her she could have access to her stuff but I need to be there when she gets it.

I had my attorney file a restraining order with the divorce paperwork keeping either one of us from selling, hiding or conceiling assets.”

“Do what your attorney says to do.
Usually, you can't lock someone out. Since she left, you might can. I'm not an attorney. LOL

What ever you do, stay away from her and for God's sake, don't get into any physical fights with her.”

“She's coming over tomorrow to get some of her stuff. She told me not to have anyone with me when she gets here. I told her to do the same. Any advice? Should I have a deputy here? I really don't want to be alone with her because I don't trust what she might do or say I did. I don't want her coming to the house and raiding me either.”

“Get a deputy.

She will walk into a door, get a bruse, and then have you thrown in jail for 'abusing' her.
last edited: 6/10/05 2:11:35 PM”

“I say have someone there because right now you are weak of flesh. She probably wants to act like she misses you to get you to give into her wiles.

On the other hand, she is bringing someone to kick your ass.”

“Listen to the wisdom of the StoveStomper. Never, ever meet with her alone from this point forward.”

“She told me not to have anyone with me when she gets here.

That alone tells me to be damn sure you have someone there. A disinterested party like a deputy sounds perfect.”

“yep, have a deputy there!

gotta look out for yourself.”

“What you have to understand is you have now rejected her, over no good reason. The sleeping around thing she did doesn't count in her mind.

This tends to make future exs very very hurt and angry and prone to do very bad things.
Many false charges can be made against you with no penalties on her part. ALL her girl friends will rally around her and support her. Trust none of them.

Get you a damn deputy.


I've been thru it myself.
Protect yourself!”

“The mere fact that she said not to have anyone else there would cause me to have someone else there.”

“I guess I need to refresh before reading and posting.
last edited: 6/10/05 2:33:09 PM”

“I don't think that's a point that can be made too many times, V.

Your first one, that is...lol...
last edited: 6/10/05 2:32:05 PM”

“Never, NEVER be in a situatio9n where you're both alone. Have at least a friend there. I always had a witness, even when picking up the kids on the Friday.

Trust me on this.

Doug”

“Heck, I'd have a party at the house at the designated time. the more witnesses the better. Plus, parties are chances to get laid, and she knows it.”

“How much do you suppose it would cost to staff a fake party with swimsuit models?”

“Might be a good idea. He'd save on lawyer bills when her head exploded, AND he could collect insurance.”

“Ooh, Phaedrus brings up a good point. Got any Life Insurance with her as the named beneficiary? Change it quick, and be sure to let her know.”

“lol @ violin, that would be priceless. Hotties hanging all over him”

“LOL
In real life, it's best you remain celibate untill after the divorce.
If not, then YOU are guilty of adultery as well.”

“SS has a point. She can nail you (figuratively) because you nailed someone else. Maintain all appearances of being single.

I respect your decision. Like I said, you don't know what you are going to do until you are in the situation yourself.”

“yeah, they are right - you better not get caught with anything that even appears your hanging out with a gal or she'll rake you over the coals for abandoning her for some floosey.”

“Just hope the proceedings don't drag out for too many years.

LOL

You could go blind!”

“Oh how mature. She took the frickin' door mat. Petty petty woman.

Yup, don't ya think it's awfully suspicious that she said for no one to be there? Hmm. Yup, deputy friend would be excellent. Y'all can be hanging on the couch, watching sports or something. All casual-like. LOL!”

“ditto on haveing a cop there....that woman showed she could not be trusted already, and was petty enough to take the doormat and the patio furnature. Sounds like she's showing her real character. She could be pissed enough to bring a gun. Its better off to have witnesses.

If nothing else, invest in some secret spy cameras all over the house so if your found dead, or if she accuses you of something you have proof.
last edited: 6/11/05 10:49:40 AM”

“im willing to bet she's going to bring someone with her when she comes over. id have someone there to tell my side of the story, that's for sure.”

“you better make sure you are not alone with her like everyone else says--”

“Anyone heard from UP in awhile?”

“Hopefully she didn't take the computer ...”

“Ha Ha! Good one Sarge!

The brother of a good friend of mine came home one evening years and years ago to find an empty house. The #&%!$ even took the ice cube trays!”

“Ouch! Anyway, hope he's ok and still hangin in there”

“ultrapeckers last post was on june 10 where he said that she is coming over tommorrow to get some stuff-has not posted since-hope everything is ok with you--”

“Amen. Maybe she took the computer?”

“Bison, you got me on ignore buddy?”

“No, why you ask?”