Lost Cove, NC--the real Trip Report

“This is so complex, it comes out in volumes.....



Wow, what a trip! This particular trip just seemed to unfold in stages. So much, in fact, that I decided to write this trip report in chapters. Let’s see, where do we begin?

Part I—The trip from hell

Ok, so I never really got instructions, but I did see the posts by both HOI and Jerbear. I first decided to go in the route HOI described. When Jerbear called me Friday morning I told him that and he said it would be a rather steep and maybe slick decent and that he was going in the other way which was relatively flat but required three (3) creek crossings. After reviewing the directions, it sure appeared that the ones given by Jerbear were simpler, so I decided that was the way to go.

I left Knoxville at 5PM, promptly hit rush hour traffic before I could get downtown, saw traffic was stopped, so I just went up to the outer loop, swung back around to the east side of town and hit I-40 where traffic was moving normally again. Ok, I think, cool, I am off to a good start. I stopped in Newport for something to eat and get gas and was soon back on the road again. By now it was raining hard and I figured it would be slow going through the pass. Everything went pretty smooth however and at 7PM I was in Asheville. Now I looked around and saw I had a TN state highway map. Because the NE corner of TN is due north of Morgantown, NC, my map included all the major highways in that section of NC. I figure, what the heck, I have time, I will go up the BRP. It will take longer but should be a nice drive. Just about the time I hit the BRP is stopped raining and a fog set in. I knew I had 75 miles to go, but after about 15 visibility had dropped to less than 50 feet. It was slow going and I found the BRP to be washed out in one lane a couple of times. It took me almost 2 hours to get to Spruce Pine where I found the BRP closed. Well hell, I figure it is detour time, so I swing through Spruce Pine, stop at Wally world for batteries (figuring I am in for a night hike) and continue on hitting the BRP about 20 miles south of where I needed to be. Now Jerbear was very clear that the turn off was at mile marker 305.5. Due to the intense fog, it had taken me three hours to reach this mile marker and at 10PM I see MM 306, so I slow down and crawl along looking for a road going to the East. Finally, I see a sign showing the exit for US221. Huh? What gives? Just past this exit, I find MM 305. Damn, how did I miss it? I turn around, go back the same way and guess what? Other than this exit, there is no other road.

Now I am puzzled, how am I going to find it? I think, maybe Jerbear just forgot the part about turning on 221. So, I go back, get off on 221, go up about a half mile and see a road turning to the South. So, I take it. I bump along a goat path for exactly 5 miles and see a couple houses at that point. Great, I think. This is the landmark in the instructions, so I pass them, and sure enough, just past the houses I come to a bridge.

No cars, no trailhead, nothing. I get out with the flashlight, examine everything thinking I must be missing the trailhead parking and confirm the first finding. Nothing here.

So, I figure maybe it is a little further. Of I go……another 8 miles and hit another road. Hell, what now? I make a left go on and on and on and finally hit NC 90. Wow, now I can see it on the map. Which way? Well my map shows NC 90 ending way before getting to the BRP. Do I go back? No, the road I came over could barely be defined as gravel (more like dirt) so I think well lets see if I can loop back to 181. When I hit Lenoir, I found out I had moved off of the area on my map. Oh #&%!$! I see US64 and being tired and frustrated, briefly considered just driving home. In Morgantown, I hit 181 and being stubborn, turned back to the north. 85 miles later I was back at the MM 305.

I go back up the BRP and decide I will just use HOI’s instructions. 1 hour later still no trailhead. I go back toward MM 305 and at 307.5, I see a road. WTF, might as well take this one too. Five miles later, two houses, a couple hundred feet later, the trailhead! Of course it is 0115 at this point so I figure with no map and a recent history of getting lost, there is no way I am hiking in. So I slept in the car waking up at daybreak to find the skies clear. I finally hit the trail. I make three creek crossings and feel I must be close when I come to another creek crossing. Did Jerbear make a mistake or did I miss the camp? I decide to go on and finally hit another creek. Trail changes direction to follow this creek now. Another creek crossing. At this point I am sure I am lost. The only good thing is that I made five crossings with boots on but know I will not be going back with boots on given the spacing of the rocks I hopped. I decide to go on and within 100 yards, I finally find the camp. At 0800……..15 hours after I left Knoxville.”

“Part two—Things get better

I find Om in camp, greet her, find Jerbear and HOI and quickly meet Spam, Ghost and his daughter, Pamster, Tightwad Bob, Cabana Boy, Skully, and Goose. After pitching a tent and chatting with the gang, I see Smoky Girl and Azmuth Coordinator come in. After meeting them, Jerbear and I get ready to hike out to the vehicles to pick up some grub he was going to prepare that night. We decided to take a semi bushwhack on an identified (on the map) but unnamed trail. We took off, and at the spot we thought the trail should be bushwhacked straight up hill. After a long climb, we hit a trail. Ok we think, we should go right. After walking back down the same hill we discover our mistake. Hell. So, straight back up hill and I mean straight up. A mile climb, no switch backs, steep grade and finally we hit the marked trail. From here we hiked on around to the trailhead for a final hike of a few miles. We were covered in sweat. Soaked.

At this point we decide to move the vehicles around to the other TH (where HOI went in). No problem, we get there in about 15 minutes. Pack up and hike down to camp.

The rest of the afternoon involved sitting around, chatting, enjoying the afternoon social hour and planning on the evening feast. When dinner time rolled around, we had a buffet. Hot dogs, hot sausages, quesadillas, cheese, meats, crackers, trout (caught right out of the stream by Spam), Spam’s signature dish (Spam and potatoes) baked onions. It was all great.

After dinner we crank up the fire, tell jokes, have a good time, listen to the guitar playing (ghost packed on in) and generally had a great time. At this point I forgot all about the troubles the night before and decided this was on of the best trips I had attended. Greeting old friends and making new ones. This was the life!”

“Part 3—What the f*** is this?

About 11, several of the crowd turned in. I am sitting out there with Pamster, Cabana Boy, Om, Tightwad Bob drinking some more Geo. Dickel (it was flowing pretty good by then) when I look up and see someone else.

Now there are times when bygod your eyes just plain lie to you. This couldn’t be. I see a person standing there with a petzl headlamp, trail runners and a tux…..full blown…bowtie and cummerbund. My eyes saw it while my mind began to think I had something stronger than whiskey in my system.

“How yall doin?” the stranger said. WTF? This guy sounds like he is from Lower Alabama! He quickly says “The hike in wasn’t too bad at dark, but those five creek crossings were tricky”. I am speechless. My mind is working so slow I am going in slow motion at this point. This guys is in a tux! Three miles from the trailhead! WTF!!!!!

After the shock wore off, I stood up, held out my hand and said “You must be naked ape”. Yep. Introductions were quickly made, he produces two bottles of wine, candy and other goods (all imported from Italy) and the party resumes. Let’s put it this way…..for the next hour and a half, Naked Ape provided me more entertainment than I have had in the last year and a half. Pamster and I laughed so hard we hurt. Finally, about 0030, we went to bed. What a day!”

“Part 4—Departing

We were up the next morning and within a few minutes apart, each departed camp. HOI, Naked Ape, Spam, Om and I went to eat at a great little restaurant. Spam left first, then HOI, then after a few minutes of telling Naked Ape how much enjoyed meeting him, we were both in our cars and headed south.

Drive home? Three hours flat. Very uneventful………thank goodness.”

“Great trip report Chili! My cheeks and ribs are still aching from SOOOOO much laughter! I don't know when I've had such a good time.

TWB gave me a new name on the hike up and out, 10 Steps. I'd take ten steps and stop. Hehehe. Nothing like staying up WAY too late, ingesting spirits (not to mention mixing my metaphors) and an all uphill hike.

It was wondeful seeing our old friends and making some new ones. Great time guys!

And for you curiosity seekers, there will be photos of Naked Ape in his finery.”

“WOW !! I missed all that fun just because I left my map at home on the table ?? I tell you this, that will NEVER happen again !!
I wonder just how far I actually was from you guys.... at the TH where I was. Oh well, Lost Cove is still LOST for me !!!
Next time will be my turn for the "new adventure".
Glad you guys had a great time and are back home safe and sound.”

“CHILI,humpf, map reading?
GreAT time and good hike. MM307.5 YO!
Good to see ya all”

“Sounds like a great time... ummm, was there a hike?? LOL! ;-P”

“Chili36 that was a great trip report!

I just want to say a few words to this gang:

Chili: It was great to meet you and you have very good taste in Whisky my new friend.

Goose: It was awesome to FINALLY make an outing with you. Onions were out of this world and was one of the first things that I bragged about when I got home.

Skully: The jokes were pretty good! And I'm not real sure iffin I should be braggin on Goose or you about the Baked Onions so I beg your forgivness if I was wrong.LOL!

Tightwad Bob: A first hike with you after all these years and your a purdy cool old fart that plays a mean guitfiddle. Cain't wait to here you playing the Gibson.

Pamster: Girl you run a tight campsite and I am heavily impressed at how you guys were organized as a family!

Cabanaboy:Dude you rock! It was so cool of you and Adrian to clean the trout for me and hang out withe me whilst I fished. Next time you'll be prepared to fish with me right?I was EXTREMELY impressed with your skills on the giutar.

HOI: I am so glad that I have informative friends such as you that know about maps that I didn't know existed. I can't believe all the spots so close to my home that I haven't visited. I'm already planning to explore the other side of the Linville Gorge.

OM: You are without a doubt a blessing to those people that are around you.You are one of the absolute sweatest souls that I've had the pleasure of being friends with!

Nakedape: One of my oldest TT friends....well what can I say man besides it was great to see ya again and have a safe trip back to Italy.My wife and daughter loved the candy!

YO Bear:Dude I can always count on you for entertainment and new gear wisdom, not to mention a great deal on slightly used gear. The next website I'm going to will be to find that COOL chair.

I also joined an exclusive club this weekend...I know HOI's real name!!!!!!!!!”

“Sorry I didn't get to finish.

Azmuthcoordinator: Man can this guy play the Blues and I heard from somone else that you were holding back!

Smokygirl:Thanx for the beer! Yehooooo!!We'll plan something soon for the Linville Gorge or surrounding area.

Ghost: Thank you! Thank you! I think Saturday night was without a doubt the most fun I've ever had with a TT outing!!”

“I thought Spam wasn't bringing spam?”

“"I see a person standing there with a petzl headlamp, trail runners and a tux…..full blown…bowtie and cummerbund."

lol.. reminds me when we went to Roan Mt.. and I kept hearing somebody playing a TROMBONE!”

“Good times, good people and good hiking - 'nuf said”

“I have to say that without a doubt, this trip goes down in my warm-memory files. Great and lovely group of people. I wish I would have stayed up later to see Nekked Ape come in - fooey! Next time, I will make sure to read the description because I didn't bring any eats to share, but I sure did feast on delicacies... and Spam was right, you would have to pay a pretty penny to eat as good as we did.

Although, I didn't get to dayhike like some of y'all, I got my journal and books out and sat my arse on the bank of lost cove creek. I floated and explored a small section of the creek instead of floating and exploring the trails.
Thanks again - what wonderful people I met and saw again!”

“Cabana Boy wanted me to tell you that he's up for a fishing/camping trip with you whenever you're ready. Poor guy had no idea there would be fishing involved this trip.

Also, drop me an email as to how much I owe you for feeding them on Sat. I know those three are walking stomachs.”

“$500 bucks ought to cover it......





*in a very quiet voice*

spam, I work on a one third fee”

“Pamster my fees are always paid in quesadias... I think thats the wrong way to spell it but anyways you are paid in full! I had a great time hanging with Cabanaboy and his friends.

Sorry Chili I ate your commision so I'll have to pay you with George D. the next trip! IOU

I want to see some pics guys and gals!”

“Sounds like a deal to me, spam.”

“trip sounds like a hoot. There are some great swimming holes down there, lots of trail, and few people once you get away from Gragg Prong Falls, Hunt Fish Falls or Harper Falls The roads are confusing down there. Mortimer Rd drops down to Edgemont between Harper Creek and Lost Cove. It intersects Old Jonus Ridge Rd by the little White Church a mile or so from the parkway just north of NC 181. Roseboro Rd, which also drops down to Edgemont below a few houses before you cross Gragg Prong.This sounds like your TH. It comes up from Linville, crosses the parkway, then heads down. The road up by 221 sounds like Edgemont Rd. All 3 intersect near each other down in Edgemont. If you head down from Edgemont you pass the picnic area at Mortimer, cross Wilson Creek and the road becomes NC 90, leading to Lenoir.”

“Thanks Spam. You'ra a doll no matter what Bear says (just kidding).

Chili: Geez. Here I was thinking we hit it off, and now your trying to collect fees off of my dealings with Spam. Guess you can take the boy out of law but you can't take the lawyer out of the boy;oP Don't forget to let us know when you're coming to Raleigh.”

“Great reports. Sure sounds like the best trip ever.”

“Pictures... we need pictures!”

“Thanks, Edoc !!!!
I'm MORE confused than EVER now !!! Because, I was AT the church on Edgemont !! Look at the photos on my trip report. http://client.webshots.com/album/361780952fkXIGd
WOW... Lost Cove may be my most challenging trip yet!! I've just GOTTA find this place now!! he he he he”

“Don't worry pamster, I would have converted it all to Dickel and we could have bonded some more on the trail.”

“Just uploaded trip shots to this site, go to pictures and view new albums...
also up on webshots....bpomer is the webshots name....i am too zombied out to write a decent enough trip report for this really cool hike....or even find the links to pics...
it was a remarkable harmonic convergence of beautiful people...to say the least ...lots of opportunity to hike a number of flowered and greened out trails or do the loop, lots of good food shared amongst us, lots of talented geetar players and there was MUCH laughter...which is a very healthy thing to do...i laughed til i cried until i gave out at 3 am~~~~~~~~~it will be a peak memory for me”

“chili, shoot me an email or call, re 24. yo b ear!”

“Trekker,

Drop me a line, I'll take you down in fall. Just remember all roads lead down to Mortimer/Edgemont (except FS 58 that dead ends at Kawana)”

“Om- Great photos! Thanks for posting them. I was sooo bummed that my camera was broken. It would have been the first TT hike without pictures.”

“http://community.webshots.com/album/363610928ShfoDh
om's pixs

Great pictures all! I can feel the karma.

Wish I could have been there but a conflicking trip had me. Glad everone had a great time.”

“Wonderful pix on!!! I already miss you guys!

We made it back to Italy, I'm bushed to say the least.”

“Pictures darling! Where are your pictures?

It was fantastic to finally meet you after all these years! Goose too! Hope we can get together again...soon!”

“In regard to Om's pics:

"We're sorry!
The Webshots page you have requested has either moved or no longer exists."”

“the ones she put on this site

sorry i missed this one. looks and looks like it was a great time.”

“Chili, I really enjoyed reading the trail report. : ).I Thanks for sharing. I look forward to meeting you guys sometime.”

“Thanks. It was an absolute blast!”

“ski, sorry, i thought i had captioned, workin on em, but they are also on this site...i kept thinkin on you during this trip...fond memories of the first one....”

“Whew, I thank we're all about recovered from jet lag! Great pix om, thanx for the link baume. Awesome hike y'all! Somebody ask Tightwad Bob if he can give Pamster "a little wood".... teeeheeeheee.”

“LMFAO, all over again.”

“Nakedape you plan a TT hike over there....I bet you would get someone to make it over!”

“naked ape....rofl agin too.!!!o my gosh, i have not laughed so hard...ever...i think.......
hey, how was turning in the tux...any little brown things fall out? LOL, glad u made it back to the boot....
spam is right on, if you plan it...i for one would be packing my grape stomping boots in a heartbeat...
what a great trip this was..
ciao”

“Om bless yo sole fer that "ciao"! If you and Spam an Mr Chili EVER want to come out to Itly, I promise to be an awesome host! 'Sides chili, ain't no tellin' what you'll find here in all these KinderEggs, hehe.

Been a lawng time since I laffed like that too. Pamster thanking of you wanting a little wood from Bob gets me to laffin' even now!

Oh the tux, no damage of course. Mebbe smelled a little bit, the pants leg bottoms a little damp and crinkly, but fo sho no little brown thangs fallin' out (I hope), LOL! They never said anything deeerogitory about it's returned condition.”

“yeah... trip was lots of fun... great seeing and meeting everybody...”

“My daughter had a blast and is already asking when we can go again. Thanks to everyone for hanging with her.”

“Bring her to the Smokies! :D”

“OK guys, sorry it took so long. You know how it is when you go away for a week, you're buried when you get back. Anywho, here they are on webshots. I'll try to caption them and also put them in a TT album as time allows. Enjoy!

http://community.webshots.com/album/371325538MHqWIN
last edited: 6/16/05 7:48:01 PM”