You Need 12 Biforumites for a ... (TR)

“TR's and pictures coming soon...if any of us can remember enough to piece together a report, that is.

This was one heck of a weekend...it's going to be hard to out do this one.”

“Wittle wood?”

“[Insert chuckle here?]

Man, if the trees in that campsite could talk...
last edited: 7/31/05 9:59:29 PM”

“They'd be screaming "GET HIM OFF ME! Get him off me!"”

“"YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO HUG ME! H-U-G! HUG!"

Geez...give backpackers beer & tequila and they turn from treehuggers to treehumpers instantly.”

“"...We started going west, and then things went south. Way South, real quick..."”

““Wittle wood?”
spindlette
10:50:12 PM
7/31/05

Wittle soft wood...”

“Is that something a dirty girl would do or a skanky ho?”

“Possibly both”

“You should ask no_granola, he's the expert on things skanky and dirty.
I'm still trying to figure it out...”

“So am I. But The Cajun did say you should always start with a regular hoe.

Though that may be a little out of context. lol”

“A little hoe or a backhoe?”

“He didn't say...just said a regular hoe.”

“A skanky ho would get paid to wittle soft wood, a dirty girl would just go find hard wood. Definitely skanky ho.”

“Visions of Gumbo Fairies dancing in my head :)

I don't know... Look at what he did to Prom Queen's hatchet.”

“You can't wittle soft wood, only hard wood.”

“Hey, This looks like another string that I saw. What's up?”

“If she wittles too fast hardwood can turn soft.”

“The thread title got the big edit. Dang it.”

“And we worked so hard on that.”

“Friday

This trip was the brainchild of a BP.com member that never showed up. We ended up having a parade of people from bp.com and TT over the course of the weekend, as well as a few non-bp’ers that we are working on converting. Chaos ensued almost immediately. The plan? Party on Friday, dayhike Saturday, party Saturday night. Here’s what went down (to the best of my recollection).

Phantom Soul, Green Monkee and I arrived at the campsite around 7pm on Friday evening to find Jersey Devil (Prom Queen) and Bateauxdriver setting up camp and starting on dinner. MsKatieBear and spindle had taken a trip to Cabela’s to get a stove. Bad Backpackers! No car camping stove!

Tents were set up and before too long, mehlerecuvt made an appearance as well. As bateauxdriver cooked dinner (the man flies all the way from Louisiana and ends up cooking for the MadAtlantic bunch all weekend!), Phantom Soul’s roommate and her boyfriend showed up. Now…we had started in on the plethora of beer and as we watched the newbies trying to set up their tent, we thought we should help. This is about the exact time that the whole weekend went to hell.

The conversation went something like this: “Need help setting up?” Shortly followed by 12 people with 12 poles doing their own thing.

“My pole is bent on the end”
“Stick it in the slippy-hooey!”
“I’ve got a nubbin’ – who needs my nubbin’?”
“I don’t know where the nubbin’ goes!”
“Pull it out!”
“Slide it in here….BE CAREFUL!”
“It’s bent and it won’t fit!”
“I’ve got it…it’s in…spindle, grab the end and pull!”
“But where do the nubbin’s go????”
“It says you need to get the middle up to get it erect”
Bottom line: It takes 12 biforumites to get a big erection.

Once we got it erect, we went back to drinking. Go figure. Why is Friday so fuzzy to me? There were Long Trails, Yeunglings, Hobgoblins and tequila floating around. There was much discussion about Lance Armstrong and the Tour de France. Just who will win it next year? We discussed Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow ~ are they one in the same or two separate entities? We took a classic photo of backpacker feet that will probably end up on some foot fetish website. Ewwwwww

The party moved to the campfire where mehlerecuvt busted out the midget chair and dinner was served! Beans and sausage and rice…oh yummmmmm…bateauxdriver became “The Ragin’ Cajun” as we feasted on this amazing meal. In need of firewood, Green Monkee pulled fallen trees out of the woods. Mehlerecuvt offered up his hatchet. The hatchet lasted about 10 minutes and when the Cajun took over, his strength was too much. The end of the hatchet went flying as he stood there with the handle. We burned the hatchet out of respect. It wasn’t long before the fatigued Cajun grew weary and layed down by the fire. Soon to be followed by {SNORE}. He was down for the count. He did awake briefly when he heard someone say “New Orleans”, a sudden {SNORE} N’AWLINS!!!” was heard…and then he went back to sleep.

Apparently bed time was approaching as the Big Erection couple, no_granola, spindle and MsKB headed off to the giant tents to sleep. Phantom Soul had other plans. “Let’s hike Pinnacle!” Oh no…

So Phantom Soul, Green Monkee, mehlerecuvt and I set out into the dark night with nothin’ but headlamps. Map? We don’t need no stinkin’ map! About 30 minutes later, we had no idea where we were. Up this hill, down that one. Trails intersecting left and right and pitch black. “I think I see a blaze!” “This can’t be right…we are going South…we’ll end up in Port Clinton if we keep going!” So we backtracked ~ unsuccessfully. “Is it THIS way?” “It can’t be…there is no way a spider built a web that fast” Somehow, we managed to find the right trail again, though we had pretty much accepted that we would be sleeping in the forest tonight. By 2:30am, we managed to find camp. Everyone grabbed there sleeping pads and headed over to sleep by the fire. The Cajun woke up and journeyed to the tent while PS, GM, mehlerecuvt and I crashed out in the dirt. Morning would be upon us soon….

(anyone care to fill in some blanks?) ;) Saturday's dayhike coming soon...”

“get to the saturday night party... i wasn't there for any of the other fiascos lol.”

“oh yea! it was good talkin to mr bearmagnet on the phone.... too bad he couldn't make it to the licking festivities that went on saturday night!”

“I agree with Scorchfire, get to the good stuff.”

“I was full of beer and had somewhere to go but no map. Drunken night hiking sounds like a great idea if you're drunk. PS was still semi-consious by the fire so I told him of my plans. It did no good since he couldn't remember the next morning. I set out with my daypack, a couple of beers, and a fleece. After another failed attempt, I finally found the yellow brick road and was off to see the pinnacle. I arrived before sunrise to beautiful views of mountains in a sea of fog. I laid on a slab and had a beer. There were clear skies and a nice crescent moon but, when I looked at it, it kept moving around. Time to crash...
I was awoken by a bp'er and his lab around 9:00. I had remembered we were having pancakes for breakfast so I hurried down after speaking with my alarm briefly. Everyone was up and glad to see I hadn't fallen off pinnacle or something. There was a pancake and a strip of bacon with my name on it :)”

“Oh Yes GM, you fit in with this group nicely. Do not fear us, fear leads to hate....hate leads to the dark side. Whata my talkin' 'bout, your already here!”

“I will use the Force to consume mass quantities of beer, trek over mountains and through valleys and bring balance to the order.”

“...and bring balance to the order

Hooo baby ~ good luck with that.”

“Sounds like a plan!”

“By order, I mean uniting the Dark and Darker side of the Force.

A task that you and others have already begun.”

“Where is the rest of the trip report? And how come I have never heard of half of you until today?

Who are you people? LOL!”

“Pixie, I just signed up yesterday”

“LOL! Ok. hee hee
Welcome!”

“Thanks. EarthNsky got me into all of this”

“Is someone trying to organize the drunks again? Didn't we learn our lesson last time?”

“Saturday

Upon waking up around 7:15am (thank you bagpipes…ugh…), we discovered that Green Monkee was nowhere to be found. His Z-rest, sleeping pad and camp shoes were sitting undisturbed next to the fire but no sign of GM. no_granola had to leave to go into work for a bit so we all just puttered around camp trying to wake up and shake out the cobwebs ~ and shake off the giant daddy long legs! They grow ‘em BIG in the Pinnacle. Right when we were at our Worry Limit, Green Monkee strolled into camp. He had done a 3am trip to the Pinnacle and slept up there. I don’t know how he finally found his way in the dark but we were relieved to see him.

The Cajun made us all breakfast of bacon and pancakes. We decided to stick around camp until no_granola returned at which time we would head up to Pulpit and Pinnacle. Nobody was in much of a hurry to get moving. Phantom Soul dragged himself out of his sleeping bag around 10am and mehlerecuvt took three naps before 10:30am. hehehe Gearboy showed up around 11am, with Nikki and Mojo, a couple of Golden Retrievers, in tow.

By noon, no_granola had returned and we were ready to head off! We decided to loop down to Blue Rocks to extend our hiking time a bit. As we reached the rocks, we discovered an Irish festival going on. Men in kilts everywhere! Yee haw! Blue Rocks were pretty cool and some of the group did some boulder hopping while the rest applied sunscreen.

The weather was beautiful for a hike. Clear blue skies and not humid at all ~ The Cajun was loving life! We had a nice little climb up to Pulpit…stopping a couple of times for some water and to listen to the dogs pant in unison (yeah, this amused us for about 5 minutes straight). The Pulpit had a great view of Blue Rocks so we stretched out on the rocks and enjoyed the day for a spell. mehlerecuvt had to leave early to get home so we said good-bye to him on Pulpit and were on our way to Pinnacle.

A moderate hike that brought out the best in the PA rocks ~ we were happy to share the ankle biters and boulders with our LA recruit. He almost took a tumble when Mojo and Nikki stopped short right in front of him but he did a graceful two-step and averted disaster. Nice move, Cajun! We found the giant heaping pile of rocks near the summit of Pinnacle. A few of us added a rock to the pile while a few others chose to climb it. It’s not that stable sooooo….it was a little funny watching them get off of it. no_granola did claim it for Spain…but he should have claimed it for the MadAtlantic.

Pinnacle was amazing! We were greeted by the Red Baron who waggled when we waved. heh. Everyone removed their packs and picked a rock to stretch out on. A few explored the boulders ~ discovering the secret entrance. Oooooooohhhhh a secret entrance!!! GM, Cajun, Prom Queen and I inspected the deep crevasse and decided we probably shouldn’t descend into it. We figured some wild creature lived in there and it was a bad day to die.

After having our picture taken by a Brat Camp kid with 15 pounds of metal in his face, we took off for the campsite. Nobody had brought lunch with them and we were all a bit hungry. It was a rather quick descent back to camp. The first 2/10 mile or so are straight down. The extremely dry dirt/dust and loose scree made for some interesting hiking. You kept hearing “woooooo!” “I’m ok” I am happy to report that nobody cried like a girl. At 3pm, we reached camp. After a firewood and water run, we organized camp, counted the beer, chilled the tequila, watched the Cajun make roux for the gumbo and waited for the rest to arrive…


Saturday evening report to follow…”

“Saturday evening? There was a Saturday Evening?

?... :)”

“That's what they tell me. Nothing like trying to write something you don't recall. Everyone needs to write their own Saturday evening report so we can get a full picture. ;)”

“I remember everything until it got dark”

“ 
last edited: 8/01/05 6:49:10 PM”

“Did I really just get licked by five girls?”

“LMAO!”

“You jealous? ”

“I wanna know what I did to deserve that; because you know I'll do it again...”

“you were quiet, we needed to cheer u up : D”

“Damm!!!!!”

“Nice TR so far LMG.

PhantomSoul the Mack :)

Where are the pics?”

“I suck, I should have at least came up for the day hike. I was down in Bucks county PA instead.”

“And so we start our Saturday night...

Where to begin…it started off fairly innocently if I recall correctly. We were all hanging around having a couple of beers and watching the Cajun do his thing at the Coleman. There was laughing and reminiscing about the prior night. We wondered outloud if we had enough beer to get us through the night, knowing there would be more folks arriving.

And then it happened.

Y2 came strolling into the camp with a cooler and a full bottle of Cuervo. ENS showed up with Ox and a cooler. They needed to leave by 10:30pm since the campground gates would be closed so they decided to take their car down to the entrance so they could stick around later. As they walked away, we placed bets on whether or not they would actually leave. We were going to see to it that noone left Site 87 on this night. The ExTerra Train arrived so we had CrazyPace & family toting a cooler (sensing a pattern, anyone?) and many Shoofly pies. Right behind them were Scorchfire and Alex…sans cooler but carrying a case of Corona. Ahhhh yes…let the games begin.

Spindle was avoiding the alcohol at first due to the fact that murder is illegal. It was too early in the night to duct tape her to the tree, so she held off for awhile.

Now….in no particular order…here are some of the events:

~ Debates on the differences between skanky ho’s and dirty girls. One needs clarification in order to establish one’s identity. Thankfully, all girls in attendance were free & clear (at least until Truth or Dare started).
~ Noodling vs. Canoodling. Apparently, spindle has done some hardcore canoodling since she came away with scratches and bruises.
~ Prosthetic dog testicles. Discuss. Also could be a benefit to Lance Armstrong (doesn’t just one throw of his aerodynamic style?). One of the boys (pardon my memory lapse) did state that if he were to get a prosthetic nut, he would request one the size of a basketball.
~ Y2 was kind enough to explain “snogging” to the non-english folks in the crowd.
~ Forgive me Father, for I F***ed Up was decided to be the theme of the weekend. no_granola explained his love of the “f” word due to it’s versatility. “F you, you F’ing F’er” and so on. We agreed and decided to say it as often as possible.

Would every person in attendance please report to Y2 ASAP for their shot of scotch (whiskey? Did it matter at that point?) spindle, Y2, MsKB and Ox finished off the Patron at this time as well~
Now….back to the regularly scheduled TR….

~bearmagnet couldn’t make it so we called him. We left two messages that I am praying to God he saved because they were something else. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??? I’m RICK JAMES, b*tch!” That phone got passed around from one person to the next. On the third call, he answered. hehe
~ CrazyPace busted out the bar and began making up some WaboRitas…oh yum. He came prepared! We had real glasses with salted rims. We had ice and the best f’ing margarita I have ever had in my life. Everyone had one and everyone drank one. Though I think Scorchfire snuck hers into ENS’s glass because his was almost gone and then miraculously filled up again.
~ Ox told a little story about ENS and I will say only these two things: “Schoolbus” and “Dude, we’re not going to get laid tonight”.
~ Cow tipping was a hot topic for a little while…proper technique and whatnot. MsKatie thought you pushed the cow from behind and we quickly established why that is so NOT a good idea.

Hmmm….methinks that’s about all I have from the pre-Truth or Dare Debacle. Now the question is…how much of the Truth or Dare Debacle should be made public? Yeah…all of it…that’s what I thought…

Coming soon: Truth or Dare Debacle: MadAtlantic Style”