My complaints about backpaker.com

“As a citizen of this country, which I believe in and which I have seen King All WhoPostToThisThread tear apart, I must address the real issues faced by mankind. Here's the story: King WhoPostToThisThread's perversions are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, I wonder if King WhoPostToThisThread really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? King WhoPostToThisThread doesn't want you to know the answer to that question; he wants to ensure you don't carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against King WhoPostToThisThread's expositions. Wanting to irritate an incredible number of people is one thing, but why would anybody possibly want to brainwash the masses into submission? Let me give you a hint: His arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. It will be objected, to be sure, that King WhoPostToThisThread doesn't honestly want to waste taxpayers' money. At first glance, this may seem to be true, but when you think about it further, you'll honestly conclude that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to justify condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridicule of him and his lethargic claims have no right to complain when he and his factotums leave a generation of people planted in the mud of a humorless world, to begin a new life in the shadows of prætorianism. Here's some food for thought: His mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life.

It would be impossible, even between the covers of a thousand volumes, to list and describe all of the annoying things that King WhoPostToThisThread has done. To cap that off, there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like King WhoPostToThisThread. Only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to present a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be. But the first step is to acknowledge that "King WhoPostToThisThread" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses, I tell him or her to stop "King WhoPostToThisThread-ing". This will become even more obvious in the years just ahead. Surely, he is not too sinister to realize that. On a closing note, I hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that King All WhoPostToThisThread is deeply involved emotionally in his attack on truth and real”

“This letter may seem a bit long, but Rev. Sarge's unreasonable memoranda cannot be adequately described in less than a long essay. Note that some of the facts I plan to use in this letter were provided to me by a highly educated person who managed to escape Sarge's scummy indoctrination and is consequently believable. I wish he would vanish into the same logistical nothingness that his arguments invariably lead to, as evidenced by the way that he holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who remake the world to suit Sarge's own inconsiderate needs. What's interesting is that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with self-centered cadgers on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to deface property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols.

A colleague recently informed me that a bunch of self-indulgent sots and others in Sarge's amen corner are about to create division in the name of diversity. I have no reason to doubt that story because Sarge's salacious ploys leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that he thinks it would be a great idea to mold your mind and have you see the world not as it is, but as he wants you to see it. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed. Sarge's biases will send us to hell in a handbasket some day. Interestingly, Sarge doesn't seem to care about that. Though I am really not a proponent of conflict, we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with him. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that a person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Sarge has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise.

As hidebound as his factotums may be, they are also the worst kinds of anti-democratic, predatory marauders there are. Sarge's treatises sound so noble, but in fact, Sarge is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Sarge and a pigeon is that Sarge intends to manufacture and compile daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against him. That's why I must protest Sarge's use of meretricious twaddlers to provide the worst classes of disorderly cult leaders there are with an irresistible temptation to give lunatics control of the asylum, and everyone with half a brain understands that. This hasn't sat well with fastidious drongos. But even if we disregard all that and examine only his gloomy off-the-cuff comments, this seems to me to be enough to show that I have a New Year's resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the choleric conclusion that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues.

My goal is to throw down the gauntlet and challenge Sarge's lapdogs to reinforce notions of positive self esteem. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I truly do have to try. But don't despair. Rather, take comfort in the knowledge that I know more about antiheroism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that I, not being one of the many morbid, feral stirrers of this world, normally prefer to listen than to speak. I would, however, like to remind Sarge that his brainless inclinations achieve total world domination. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to hinder the power of depraved, flagitious devotees of conspiracy theories like him. I have a message for Sarge. My message is that, for the good of us all, he should never spit on sacred icons. He should never even try to do such a blockish thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never", I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that I wouldn't put it past Sarge to produce a new generation of loud Sarge clones whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.

Some people say that that isn't sufficient evidence to prove that he is secretly scheming to defile the air and water in the name of profit. And I must agree; one needs much more evidence than that. But the evidence is there, for anyone who isn't afraid to look at it. Just look at the way that there's something fishy about his vituperations. I, for one, think he's up to something, something unsophisticated and perhaps even power-hungry. Finally, whatever your thoughts or feelings about Rev. Sarge are, I urge you to help me present a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be.


This generator is to damn funny!!
last edited: 8/04/05 9:19:11 AM”

“I'm going to start using it to write letters to the editor of our local paper - they'll print anything!!!

A major step in my life goal of becoming a full time gadfly....”

“In this letter, I will try to describe Lord LongJohnson's histrionics in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that Lord LongJohnson is becoming ever more audacious in his unappeasable hatred of us. As this letter will make clear, Lord LongJohnson tries to humiliate his opponents rather than win their understanding. Am I being too harsh for writing that? Maybe I am, but that's really the only way you can push a point through to Lord LongJohnson. From what I know of his equivocations, he is saying essentially three things:

He is a martyr for freedom and a victim of neopaganism.
He has achieved sainthood.
There is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of condescending stereotypes.
Obviously, all three of these are doubtlessly snotty.

It is true that he is so intolerantly devoted to his own prejudices that his perception of reality is completely warped, but if Lord LongJohnson is going to fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, he engages in pietistic babble that nauseates even some of my more religious friends. And second, he managed to convince a bunch of contemptuous lotharios to help him deprive individuals of the right to kick butt and take names. What was the quid pro quo there? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that he wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because even if one is opposed to damnable, larcenous fogyism (and I, hardheaded cynic that I am, am), then surely, when he tells us that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is, he somehow fails to mention that I avoid pouty killjoys like the plague. He fails to mention that with that kind of thinking, it's sincerely time to put up or shut up. And he fails to mention that he has been deluding people into believing that denominationalism brings one closer to nirvana. Don't let him delude you, too. I recently overheard a couple of apolaustic, soulless marauders say that Lord LongJohnson's schemes are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Lord LongJohnson-induced era of slogans and propaganda. Let me close by reminding you that the statements I made about Lord LongJohnson in this letter are in earnest. I will not equivocate. I will not excuse. I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard.”

“LOL, He is a saint, and I will not retreat a single inch! LMAO!”

“You are all TOO GOOD!

But can you pull off the intent of this thread in a single sentence like this next one?

"You would not believe the superfluities of the indigenous words I use."
last edited: 8/04/05 9:25:38 AM”

“This thread is simply sententious.”

“some of you have waaaaayy too much time on your hands...it's a freakin internet forum and some of you are treating it like a phd thesis”

“Holy #&%!$! First let me retreive my dictionary, then I will have to spend some quality time here at work reading all this.

Don't anyone bug me for the next 2 hours!”

“The nature and extent of our current national crisis, as well as its causes and cures, are the subject of intense political struggle. I offer this letter as a contribution to that struggle and debate in hopes of helping to weaken the critical links in Mr. Sarge's nexus of scummy pauperism. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. The whole premise of his intimations is false, and his arguments are specious at best. Although this has been overlooked or ignored by the established scientific community, it's unfortunate that he has no real education. It's impossible to debate important topics with someone who is so mentally handicapped.

We must indisputably make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change without the slightest consideration for any screams and complaints that might arise. Added to this is something else: Sarge's tactics are based on hate. Hate, quislingism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. All I'm trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the nerdy tendencies that make Sarge want to twist the truth.

If there is one truth in this world, it's that he makes no sense at all. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. He labels anyone he doesn't like as "politically incorrect". That might well be a better description of Sarge. His taradiddles express themselves in thousandfold manifestations, with one of Sarge's apologists in despair and hopelessness, with another in ill will, anger, and indignation, with these apolaustic extortionists in indifference, and with those in furious excesses. I oppose his expositions because they are offensive. I oppose them because they are ugly. And I oppose them because they will put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse when you least expect it. In a nutshell, Mr. Sarge's hatred knows no bounds.”

“Oh, this is funny. I was worried about a major meltdown for a while.


As if that many of us would know and use that many big words and could actually punctuate and spell properly. LOLOLOLOLOL


But it sure sounds good!!”

“Yo......taradiddle !!”

“There are a number of things I can't stand about Mr. Nigal J Mcgillicutty, and I would just love to share them with you. For starters, Nigal's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. He has called innocent children ridiculous, loathsome kooks to their faces. This was not a momentary aberration or a slip of the tongue, and hence, we can safely say that you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with self-centered, militant cutthroats?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that he is not just stupid. He is unbelievably, astronomically stupid. You might have heard the story that Nigal once agreed to help us make this world a better place in which to live. No one has located the document in which Nigal said that. No one has identified when or where Nigal said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Nigal would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being raucous. I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "I doubtlessly find that unsavory skinflints are no different from antisocial pikers".”

“"I doubtlessly find that unsavory skinflints are no different from antisocial pikers"

This is my new personal mantra. LOL!”

“I've been thinking that taradiddle could be a good trailname. I don't like what it means but it sure sounds good.”

“diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle!

I like it! :)”

“1. If you don't like Backpacker Mag, don't buy it.

2. If you do like Bakcpacker Mag, buy it, read it, and maybe give subscriptions to everyone you know.

3. If you create a post like this, call if FUEGO so innocents like me can keep our heads in the sand.

4. Haven't y'all heard that brevity is the soul of wit????

5. I can use big words, too, but only after a couple of stiff drinks.”

“pepper... read the first post again. and, more importantly, click on the link. it's a joke. all in fun. well, mostly, anyway. some of the "complaints" ring pretty true... lol”

“What it means??”

“pepper - You are assigned as nowslimmer's friend for the day.”

“Lol, Sarge!”

“tara - I must confess I rarely have the attention span to read posts of more than 5 lines, and rarely to follow any links. I gathered that there was a joke in there somewhere but vaguely figured that it was a joke on me.

Sarge - You are giving away your friend that easily?”

“Over the past few weeks, I've learned to look past Mr. Super Troll's disgraceful dissertations. I've learned to look past some of the drossy things Mr. Troll has said. I've even learned to look past his attempts to take the focus off the real issues. But I cannot stay silent about Mr. Troll's incomprehensible and unforgivable audacity regarding a specific event that recently occurred. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, Mr. Troll is capable of a large array of negative feelings. But you knew that already. So let me add that Mr. Troll has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to progressively narrow the sphere of human freedom. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that the public is like a giant that he has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Mr. Troll leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to restore the ancient traditions that Mr. Troll has abandoned. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that Mr. Troll has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and make it virtually impossible to fire incompetent workers -- all by trumping up a phony emergency.

So what if Mr. Troll hates me for pointing out that his suggestions are unrealistic? Let him hate me. I consider such hatred a mark of honor, a mark of distinction. What, then, does "chromatographic" mean? It means considerably more than any dictionary is likely to say.

We can't stop him overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to stop this insanity. If you were to tell Mr. Troll that he is a paragon of evil at its most wicked, he'd just pull his security blanket a little tighter around himself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world.

Regardless of whether we consider him a lunatic, an evil aggressor, or whatever, if Mr. Troll gets his way, none of us will be able to issue a call to conscience and reason. Therefore, we must not let Mr. Troll use mass organization as a system of integration and control. He faces moral disaster in his neighborhood, political disaster in his country, and an impending world catastrophe with a blank and smiling countenance. To prove this, I shall take only a few cases from the mass of existing examples. Never have I seen such a gross error in judgment as his decision to take rights away from individuals whom only Mr. Troll perceives as mindless. He dreams of a time when he'll be free to promote violence in all its forms -- physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and social. That's the way he's planned it, and that's the way it'll happen -- not may happen, but will happen -- if we don't interfere, if we don't create and nurture a true spirit of community.

This is a classic example of a zero-sum game. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must prevent the production of a new crop of gutless bums. I will surely be happy to have your help in this endeavor.”

“This gets funnier by the minute. I loved BackSlacker's post about Long Johnson not retreating an inch. And the numbnuts that keep posting not realizing its all just in jest. LOL!”

“I represent that comment!!

My only defense is back to my comment about not having the attention span to read more than 5 lines.

Now, about that friend that Sarge is trying to foist upon me - is that a good sign or bad sign? I don't have the patience to read between the lines....
last edited: 8/04/05 11:00:00 AM”

“This is probably one of the best "tear each other apart with words" threads I have ever read. There is some serious "word elequence" going on here, I applaude you all! Outstanding job!”

“numbnuts?...i'll have you know i have full feeling in my...umm...nuts”

“Oh my God! I'm with Ox. You guys make my brain hurt!

I'm going to get more coffee and forget all the words you pulled out of your "arses" that I didn't understand. LOL!

You're freaks! All of you! (But I love ya!)
*smooches*”

“We love you too, Pix!

I've got a bone to pick with Princess Pixie, Esq.. Note that some of the facts I plan to use in this letter were provided to me by a highly educated person who managed to escape Princess Pixie's postmodernist, egocentric indoctrination and is consequently believable. If she were as bright as she thinks she is, she'd know that she has completely stepped off the deep end. And here, I contend, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in her fairy tales. Princess Pixie intends to create a new social class. Pushy, juvenile pop psychologists, slatternly, laughable-to-the-core rascals, and huffy, witless thugs will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their advocates. To close, let me accentuate that if we present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future, we shall not only survive Princess Pixie, Esq.'s attacks; we shall prevail.”

“Will my new social class be required to wear pink? LOL!”

“Unprincipled. Uneducated. Counter-productive. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Princess Pixie. The first thing I want to bring up is that if I have a bias, it is only against sniffish prevaricators who take a condescending cheap shot at a person that most prodigal hostes generis humani will never be in a position to condescend to. One last thing: Princess Pixie's myrmidons can't defend their dissertations.”

“My duty to you, dear reader, constrains me to the disagreeable and almost painful task of giving you a significant amount of information that you may be unwilling to accept. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. My girlfriend's horrible cooking has a strategy. Its strategy is to interfere with a person's work performance, bodily security, physical movement, or privacy rights. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with my girlfriend's horrible cooking. If my girlfriend's horrible cooking wanted to, it could break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international Fabianism. It could let down ladders which the libidinous, conceited, and destructive scramble to climb. And it could flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet. We must certainly not allow my girlfriend's horrible cooking to do any of these.”

“I just want to say one thing: Pixie Productions is a bacillus in the unenlightened gut of pauperism. But before I continue, allow me to explain that even acknowledging Pixie Productions's brutal bruta fulmina is beneath my dignity. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that if Pixie Productions is going to exploit the masses, then it should at least have the self-respect to remind itself of a few things: First, this view dangerously underestimates the filthy quality of interdenominationalism. And second, no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how I, hardheaded cynic that I am, claim that its opinion is a lazy cop-out. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities. My argument gets a little complicated here. I feel that there are lawsuits in Pixie Productions's future, even though that presupposes a dialectical intertwinement to which a tyrannical turn of mind is impervious. The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. After having read this, you may think that we must fix our sights on the distant future, when we will have finally cleared away the spiritual and physical debris of the Pixie Productions era. Nevertheless, you should always remember that it would be a semantic quibble to deny that Pixie Productions frequently plays on our emotions.”

“This letter is not a debate contest in which I convince you to agree with me or vice versa. This letter is concerned only with establishing the truth about Pres. George W Bush. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: Pres. Bush is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's mephitic to establish democracy and equality; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that Pres. Bush doesn't care about freedom, as he can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to him. That doesn't necessarily mean that he utilizes a narrow and static view of human nature, although it might. Rather, it means that since their emergence on the stage of history, manipulative ideologues have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens. An equal but opposite observation is that he argues that I am nefarious for wanting to change the world for the better. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago. I am asking the readers of this letter to be aware that Pres. Bush's revenge fantasies are utterly morally crippled, regardless of the way, shape, or form in which he presents them. I know because I have experienced that personally. Pres. Bush's publicity stunts are a load of bunk. I use this delightfully pejorative term, "bunk" -- an alternative from the same page of my criminal-slang lexicon would serve just as well -- because I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Pres. Bush to jawbone aimlessly, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Pres. Bush claims that he defends the real needs of the working class.

If natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species, then he is clearly going to be the first to go. If you read Pres. Bush's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that children should belong to the state. But if you read his writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he has no real regard for other people's rights, privacy, or sanity. (Actually, thought should precede any attempt at intellectual writing, but that's not important now.) Pres. Bush's fairy tales are part and parcel of a larger game plan to turn me, a typically mild-mannered person, into a prudish, offensive vat of autism. He vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would, because I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: You don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: Were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Pres. Bush to help him eavesdrop on all types of private conversations. Pres. Bush's premise (that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Pres. Bush uses this disguised morality to support his pronouncements, thereby making his argument self-refuting.

You may wonder why for him, Comstockism is indubitably the name of the game. It's simply because it's time for him to stop his systematic assault on religious freedom. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Pres. Bush does, and that's why I am fed up with his resentful and incomprehensible behavior. Yes, I could add that his politics are not just retroactively ineffective but proactively inert, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that just the other day, some of Pres. Bush's silly collaborators forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Pres. Bush's blueprint for a world in which cruel chuckleheads are free to extinguish the voices of opposition. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that I overheard one of Pres. Bush's rank-and-file followers say, "Divine ichor flows through Pres. Bush's veins." This quotation demonstrates the power of language, as it epitomizes the "us/them" dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to stop this insanity. As for me, I have no bombs, no planes, no artillery, and no terrorist plots. But I do have weapons and tactics that are far more deadly: pure light and simple truth. If I recall correctly, Pres. Bush will push all of us to the brink of insanity because he possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses the worst sorts of scornful schemers there are with maladroit and uncontrollable rage. His loyalists are quick to point out that because he is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, Pres. Bush is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, Pres. Bush is a victim of his own success -- a success that enables Pres. Bush to cultivate the purest breed of irresponsibility. Although he would like us to believe that profits come before people, he has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. His sophistries, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that there are three fairly obvious problems with his tactics, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to challenge him to defend his apologues or else to change them. First, I urge you to join me in my quest to fight abysmal tyrants. Second, Pres. Bush, using every conceivable means for his purpose, is determined to bad-mouth worthy causes. And third, if he truly believes that the best way to serve one's country is to worsen an already unstable situation, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101.

His deeds are continually evolving into more and more flighty incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how it's quite easy for Pres. Bush to declaim my proposals. But when is he going to provide an alternative proposal of his own? I mean, like a verbal magician, he knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. Pres. Bush is hooked on designer victimology but fails to notice the real victims: the entire next generation. The picture I am presenting need not be confined to his remarks. It applies to everything Pres. Bush says and does. He coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his hatchet jobs sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary. Clearly, Pres. Bush's older ramblings were heartless enough. His latest ones are unquestionably beyond the pale.

Pres. Bush's view that society is supposed to be lenient towards frightful used-car salesmen is sheer make-believe. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: Pres. Bush's secret agents will have to stop shouting "Me, me!" and learn to harmonize on "Us, us!". As will become apparent in a lustrum or two, Pres. Bush has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. Call me a cynic, but he can get away with lies (e.g., that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy), because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Pres. Bush is lying.

He offers two principal reasons as to why sin is good for the soul. He argues that (1) all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la, and (2) the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. These arguments are invalid for the following reasons: First, he never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. Pres. Bush presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, he seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that I honestly wouldn't want to glorify the things that everyone else execrates. I would, on the other hand, love to reveal the nature and activity of his buddies and expose their inner contexts as well as their ultimate final aims. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. The greatest quote I ever heard goes something like this: "Pres. Bush is like a jellyfish in that you can't see his stings coming." The key point here is that in order to convince us that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders", Pres. Bush often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes.

If you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will doubtlessly find that I've heard of clueless things like jingoism and antipluralism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves -- ideas which his ignorant, unthinking, jackbooted brain is too small to understand. For the most part, the most perceptive members of our society respond positively to my message that there is no honor in Pres. Bush's press releases. Still, Pres. Bush speaks like a true defender of the status quo -- a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. To state it in stark and simple terms, this is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact.

One other thing: I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by Pres. Bush and his adherents. And just let him try and stop me. Why he would even pretend that the Earth is flat is beyond me. But there I go again, claiming that he uses the word "anthropomorphical" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated. Although everyone has goals, Pres. Bush's goal seems to be to caricature and stereotype people from other cultures. I find that some of Pres. Bush's choices of words in his morals would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted "self-centered" for "consubstantiationist" and "fickle" for "photochronographical."

Mutual efforts against unstable despotism are not just an educational process designed to teach people that Pres. Bush's criticisms are a syncretism of morally questionable absolutism and grotty, brusque collectivism. These efforts also serve as a beacon, warning the world of the witless consequences of Pres. Bush's shabby conclusions. Pres. Bush has stated that censorship could benefit us. That's just pure pharisaism. Well, in Pres. Bush's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that Pres. Bush's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. To simplify, I want to thank him for his jokes. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how xenophobic Pres. Bush can be.

To parody the old song, "Fish gotta swim, Pres. Bush gotta pit the haves against the have-nots." His maneuvers manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: create massive civil unrest. Phase two: advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills. My usual response to his solutions is this: We must educate, inform, and nurture our children instead of keeping them ignorant, afraid, and in danger. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little noxious, so let me be more specific. His exegeses have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. And there you have it. Mercantalism is sustained by rigid ideological categories.”

“LMAO, are you sure you're not talking about my wife's cooking SD? Oops, did I say that out loud? This post will self destruct in five seconds.....”

“I don't know that your Disorder is such a big Secret.....”

“I wanted to respond to treebeard's dinner earlier, but I was so busy, I simply did not have the time. Nevertheless, what I need to say is so important, I knew I simply had to allocate a few minutes to write a brief letter on the subject. I guess I should start by saying that when treebeard's dinner was first found trying to rewrite and reword much of humanity's formative works to favor sexism, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that treebeard's dinner is planning to skewer me over a pit barbecue, I'm definitely terrified. If I had my druthers, treebeard's dinner would never have had the opportunity to exercise control through indirect coercion or through psychological pressure or manipulation. As it stands, if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that treebeard's dinner is entitled to transform our whole society to suit its own bloodthirsty interests. In fact, that's exactly what it does as part of its quest to dress up its profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism. If treebeard's dinner gets its way, I might very well wander around in a quagmire of self-pity and depression. I think I've dished it out to treebeard's dinner as best as I can in this letter. I hope you now understand why I say that treebeard's dinner often starts with a preconceived story and then plugs in supposed "information" in order to create a somewhat believable tale.”

“The whole mess is anathema, but only from a escatalogical perspective. :0
"Give me liberty, or give me thanatos (with a little cream and sugar please)."”

“oy vey!!! I haven't read so much boring drivel since I was were stuck on the HMS Beagle in the Pacific in the heat of August, not a breeze to found.”

“Wow 90 posts in less than 24 hours....you've ben busy!”

“"treebeards dinner"?”

“Maple's new job means she will have to do the cooking from now on.”

“yada yada yada”