Must See ''The Aristocrats''

“Tagline: No Nudity No Violence Unspeakable Obscenity

Plot Outline: One hundred superstar comedians tell the same very, VERY dirty, filthy joke--one shared privately by comics since Vaudeville.


Credited cast:
Chris Albrecht
Jason Alexander .... Himself
Hank Azaria .... Himself
Steven Banks .... Billy The Mime
Shelley Berman .... Himself
Lewis Black .... Himself
David Brenner .... Himself
Mario Cantone .... Himself
Drew Carey .... Himself
George Carlin .... Himself
Mark Cohen .... Himself
Billy Connolly .... Himself
Tim Conway .... Himself
Pat Cooper .... Himself
Wayne Cotter .... Himself
Andy Dick .... Himself
Frank DiGiacomo
Phyllis Diller .... Herself
Susie Essman .... Herself
Carrie Fisher .... Herself
Joe Franklin
Mike George .... Himself
Todd Glass .... Himself
Whoopi Goldberg .... Herself
Judy Gold .... Herself
Eddie Gorodetsky .... Himself
Gilbert Gottfried .... Himself
Dana Gould .... Himself
Allan Havey .... Himself
Eric Idle .... Himself
Dom Irrera .... Himself
Eddie Izzard .... Himself
Richard Jeni .... Himself
Penn Jillette .... Himself
Jake Johannsen .... Himself
Alan Kirschenbaum
Jay Kogen .... Himself
Sue Kolinsky .... Herself
Paul Krassner .... Himself
Cathy Ladman .... Herself
Lisa Lampanelli
Richard Lewis .... Himself
Wendy Liebman .... Herself
Bill Maher .... Himself
Howie Mandel .... Himself
Merrill Markoe .... Herself
Jay Marshall .... Himself
Jackie Martling .... Himself
Chuck McCann
Michael McKean .... Himself
Eric Mead
Larry Miller .... Himself
Owen Morse
Martin Mull .... Himself
Kevin Nealon .... Himself
Taylor Negron .... Himself
Rick Overton .... Himself
Gary Owens .... Himself
Trey Parker .... Himself
Otto Peterson .... Himself
Emo Philips .... Himself
Peter Pitofsky .... Himself
Kevin Pollak .... Himself
Paul Reiser .... Himself
Andy Richter .... Himself
Don Rickles .... Himself
Chris Rock .... Himself
Gregg Rogell .... Himself
Jeffrey Ross .... Himself
Jon Ross .... Himself
Rita Rudner .... Herself
Bob Saget .... Himself
T. Sean Shannon .... Himself
Harry Shearer .... Himself
Sarah Silverman .... Herself
Bobby Slayton .... Himself
Dick Smothers .... Himself (as The Smothers Brothers)
Tom Smothers .... Himself (as The Smothers Brothers)
Carrie Snow .... Herself
Doug Stanhope .... Himself
David Steinberg .... Himself
Jon Stewart .... Himself
Matt Stone .... Himself
Larry Storch .... Himself
Rip Taylor .... Himself
Teller .... Himself
The Amazing Johnathan .... Himself
Dave Thomas .... Himself
Johnny Thompson
Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson .... Himself
Peter Tilden .... Himself
Bruce Vilanch .... Himself
Jonathan Wee
Fred Willard .... Himself
Robin Williams .... Himself
Steven Wright .... Himself
(more)”

“There is this joke that has been around since the days of vaudeville. It's mostly an "insider" joke amongst comedians. But, it's subject to interpretation (usually filthy) and individual touch. This movie is 100 comedians telling the same joke. Here's the template for the joke:

GO (VERB) YOURSELF!
A man bursts into a talent agent’s office and says, “Have I got a show for you! You’re going to love it; it’s a family act.” The agent says, “I’m a little pressed for time here, but go ahead, tell me what you do.”

The man grins and says, “Great! Here’s what happens: I come out on the stage and immediately start to verb my body part. Then my relative comes out to verb me, while I verb her body part. At this point, liquid is getting all over the interior location, so our pet comes out and verb ending with s on the same interior location, at the same time my same relative is verb ending with –ing herself in the body part and screaming, ‘command!’

“Next, my another relative brings out a adjective musical instrument and begins playing name of song. While this is happening, number plural animals enter and they start verb ending with –ing my relative, which is great because my same relative made sure to verb with a object.

“Okay, by this point the crowd is really starting to get strong emotion. Naturally, that’s our sign to bring on the number oppressed ethnicity plural of profession associated with chosen ethnicity, who immediately begin to ply their trade while I verb their body parts with my household object.

“The audience hasn’t seen anything yet, because that’s when the well hung farm animal verb ending with s out onstage. A hush falls as the beast verb denoting bodily function, ending in s all over my relative as I recite passages from name of Danielle Steel novel. Just then, number midgets-not ‘little people,’ mind you, but honest-to-name of popular God or prophet midgets!—burst out of the cake we’ve wheeled onstage and one of them verb ending with s on his own body part. From a certain angle, you can’t even tell he has a same body part at all!

“The midget’s equally runty hermaphrodite friend comes along and inserts a cannonball in his/her bodily fluid-filled orifice, causing his/her genitalia to blow off. A African mammal in a fez action verb ending in s in and gobbles up the exploded genitalia like a ripe banana and washes it down with a container of its own bodily fluid. And here’s where it gets interesting. The midget, the same African mammal, the hermaphrodite, all the assorted relatives onstage and two volunteers from the audience verb the well hung farm animal while my grandmother—who’s busy verb ending in –ing the same well hung animal, with the decomposed body part of her dead father—picks up a big-band instrument and verb ending with s it. The ensemble showers the audience with liquid, after which they join hands for a show-stopping rendition of ‘Deutschland Uber Alles.” And that’s that.”

The ashen-faced talent agent, agog, asks the man, “What do you call this act?”

The man replies...
last edited: 8/04/05 12:53:02 PM”

“Got locked out of editing it. It's like a mad libs thing, where you fill int he bold underlined commands...”

“Listening to the same joke 100 times?”

“Apparently every comedian tells it a little different.”

“I thought this was abotu Aristocats. I have it on Laserdisc if you want to watch it.”

“What's a Laserdisk??

Just kidding, I remember Beta too....”

“I heard about this on NPR. Sounds like a cool movie and the guy said it never gets redundant.”

“man, i already started a thread about this and no one replied!”

“Sorry, Crash. I have limited times of the day that I can browse threads, so I missed yours completely. I know that Dick Walsh, president of AMC theaters, has banned this movie from all his theaters. Why he has a hard-on for this particular picture, I have no clue. More double standards, I guess...

I hope it makes it to all markets”

“to be fair, i think it is amc's stated policy to not run un-rated movies, but i do know that he did make some kind of announcement about it”

“I like a good belly laugh and this movie does has them, quite a few. Grant it, it is the same vile or should that be bile incestuous fecal laden disgusting joke with a touch of beastiality told over and over and over again ,,that may test every moral fiber in your body to the extent that you just might not make it through this movie but you will,,, why?, I really don't know. Why,, do some rubberneck when driving past an auto accident who knows,,, but this will be one the funniest movie you'll never want to talk about because,,,there is no humor in fisting a family member unless the delivery is done the right way.

I wonder what the odds are now of getting a rusty trombone from my gf?”

“i wanna see dis movie

but i dont wanna know what a rusty trombone is”