Unmask Sarge

“Here's the thread you've all been waiting for, will the REAL Sarge, please step forward?

Contestant One, what is your name?
Violin steps forward: "I am Sarge."

Contestant Two, what is your name?
Buddha Bear steps forward: "I am Sarge."

Contestant Three, what is your name?
Tilt steps forward: "I am Sarge."

Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, you will now be required to ask a series of questions so that we can all, "UN-MASK SARGE."”

“If anyone wants to talk about the issues, just let me know and we'll take it to a "real" thread.”

“I think that's the point. Most of us don't want to talk about the issues.”

“Nobody has forced anybody to any of these years.”

“Nope, but you just referred to time in the plural and your profile says you've been here just under a year. How long have you really been here?”

“dayhiker - This may surprise you, but people were talking about political issues on here before I came on board.”

“True, but we were talking under the context of this board.”

“True, but we were talking under the context of this board.

Yes Einstein. People were talking about political issues on here before I came on board.”

“By the way - Who's winning?”

“Well Fermi, I guess your post was just ambiguous to be read either way.”

“Sorry if I messed up your game dayhiker.

Go ahead ... start again ...

Pretend like I never interrupted.

I'll be quiet now.

Proceed.”

“Well Fermi, I guess your post was just ambiguous to be read either way. - dayhiker

I'll rephrase it for you:

Nobody, that is, no human being that I am aware of, has forced, pressured, or otherwise coaxed anybody who posts messages on this board by typing them into their keyboard or other computer input device, to respond or in any way interact via text messages (not to be confused with 'text messaging'), any of the years in which "TrailTalk" has been in existence on the internet as a part of thebackpacker.com, even before Sarge joined the forum, or anyone else for that matter.

Is that unambiguous enough?
last edited: 8/05/05 7:59:00 AM”

“Ok, now I'll stop and let you play your game.

Let me get some popcorn first. Hold on.

...

Ok.”

“otherwise coaxed anybody

Getting smacked with coaxial is painful. I know first hand.”

“Contestant Four, what is your name?
dayhiker steps forward: "I am Sarge



you have been know to troll =)”

“Thank you for finally being unambiguous. You demand it of us. You should toe the line as well.”

“When you say "toe", do you mean you nudge the line with your toe, or just step on it a little? Maybe you meant "tow", in which case, do you mean "tow" it with you, or individually tow my own line whilst you tow yours?”

“Come to think of it, when you say "demand", do you mean "to ask for", or "to require"? That one stumped me a bit. Thanks!
last edited: 8/05/05 8:24:05 AM”

“I always thought that phrase meant to toe as in step up to the line. I can see where it could be nautical meaning to pull a line or rope. Thank you for your continuous dilligence in demanding a lack of ambiguity in all posters. Haven't you been harassing Sass and birch because you perceive that they feel a need to correct other posters? Pot, kettle, black.”

“I always thought that phrase meant to toe as in step up to the line. I can see where it could be nautical meaning to pull a line or rope.

So you used it and don't know what it means. I'll keep that in mind when you correspond from now on.

Thank you for your continuous dilligence in demanding a lack of ambiguity in all posters.

When you say "all posters", are you claiming that you are all posters? Please explain how you manage. Also, if you were in fact "all posters", wouldn't that mean that you are me? If so, wouldn't that mean you've been unmasked? Are you the troll you want everyone to find? What kind of sick mind is at work there? And, if everyone is you, then wouldn't that mean you want yourself to find you, in which case that would mean you are looking for yourself? Is that metaphorically or literally?

Haven't you been harassing Sass and birch because you perceive that they feel a need to correct other posters?

No. They have been harassing me because they feel a need to correct me. I just asked them each time to do it in a Christian way since that is exactly what they were insisting of me. I found it ironic that their way of telling me to act like a Christian was done in a hateful way.

Pot, kettle, black.

Yes, I agree. They really should look in the mirror.
last edited: 8/05/05 8:31:11 AM”

“Most pathological people want to be found out. Do you?”

“I'm not the one looking for myself.

Or am I? I am if I'm you if you're everyone.”

“*Yawn*
Another bash Sarge thread.”

“That last post makes me want to sing the Coca-Cola song while standing in a large grassy meadow with hundreds of my closest TT'ers around.”

“Seriously StoveStomper. It's tiresome.

My original offer still stands.

Anybody wanting to discuss issues, let's go to a "real" thread.

I think dayhiker is discovering people have lost interest in this type of thread. Let's hope he catches on.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to string him along. LOL”

“That last post makes me want to sing the Coca-Cola song while standing in a large grassy meadow with hundreds of my closest TT'ers around.

Isn't that redundant? If you were all gathered around a campfire, by definition, they'd be the closest TT'ers around.
last edited: 8/05/05 8:37:05 AM”

“No one is bashing the good sergeant. We're just trying to find out who's behind the curtain.

S - I'll blame that one on the exemplary writing skills of most engineers, including this one.”

“Hey, a bash *anyone* thread is bound to be amusing. Sarge, you're the soup dujour. Enjoy.”

“I'm imagining DH dressed like Austin Powers trying to pull off Sarge's real hair.”

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”

“I'm starting to suspect Phaedrus, but the timezones don't work. He'd have to be up very early to be posting from CA when Sarge posts.”

“Was it a Leslie Nielson movie where someone tried to rip the hair off Margaret Thatcher?”

“Don't forget Ace Ventura trying to rip the hair off of Finkle/Einhorn.”

“LOL @ Mutt.
Need to spit?

Yep that's a classic gag.
Even further back Laurel and Hardy and the Three Stooges did the same schtick.”

“And don't forget about Hannibal Lector ripping the face off that security guard dude and putting it on his own face.”

“HAHA! dayhiker, you are hilarious!”

“Well no one is asking the type of deep, probing questions I'd hoped for. Sigh.”

“Could Stovestomper be Sarge?”

“ohhhhhhhh ... intriguing!

Or better yet ... maybe SASSAFRAS IS SARGE!!!!

BWU-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”

“dayhiker, I'm convinced Sarge is just as real as, say, violin. More so, I think.”

“deep and probing! so basically you want us to give Sarge a pap smear? i really think that's a job best left to his gynocologist. ya know, i never thought before that Sarge might be a troll, b/c he posts way too much. but it just might be ridiculous enough! i definitely don't think it's Violin, b/c Sarge is conservative, and why would Violin want to annoy his own kind? same with BB. and Tilt, for that matter! how come you think it would be one of them?”

“SS, funny you say that when I hear something else”

“He's just over the line enough to seem like that episode of Seinfeld where you had the bizarro characters. That's the only reason.”

“Ewker, you are not making any sense.
Please explain.”

“I do not have the patience or writing and typing skills to be Sarge.
Anyone should be able to see that. LOL.”

“Admit is StoveStomper! You're Sarge!

Nobody believes you!

...

Uhh, Wait a second!?”

“Dayhiker, I'm afraid you are going to have to probe Sarge by yourself.

BTW- I wasn't aware you were a proponent of open marriage”

“I won't and I'm not, but thanks for playing, ha!”