Survivor - New Orleans

“George W. Bush
DICK Cheney
Karl Rove
Tom DeLay
Trent Lott
Pat Roberts
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Neal Bortz
Don Rumsfeld
Anton Scalia
John Ashcroft
Rupert Murdoch”

“All of the castawys are dropped into the worst hit, teeming with disease section of New Orleans with nothing but a sack full of Treasury Bonds and a full set of golf clubs. Ann Coulter is provided with a garbage bag full of condoms.

OK, somebody start with Day 1!”

“In a total Survivor surprise, the survivors get calls from home. Georgie Bush gets a call from his mom, who tells him he is fortunate, because being underprivileged and forced to compete for $1 million, he never had it so good.

In the rewards challenge, Pat Roberts and Ann Coulter assassinate Hugo Chavez and win a night for two on the smelly shores of Lake Ponchartrain.

The immunity challenge is a contest to correctly name the mayor of New Orleans. Nobody wins it, so the entire tribe goes to tribal council with their heads on the block.

They take the vote, and Mike Brown is voted out of the city. This marks the first time in the history of survivor that a survivor not even in the game is voted out. The weary survivors head back to camp, exhausted, but now they have fire.

On the way back to camp, Scalia drops his torch in the water, which explodes in flame because of all the oil floating on the surface. As the show concludes, Jeff Probst informs the audience that this marks the first time in the history of Survivor that an entire tribe was voted out in one fell swoop.

While Survivor New Orleans concludes early, Probst informs the audience to look out for the next series, Survivor Baghdad.”