My Mother Drives Me Crazy

“Anyone else have a mother who tries to control your every move, gets unhappy with you when you have a life outside of them, and makes you feel like you are the one who is always wrong? Mind you, my mother did not raise me. My dad did. Which is why I have a hard time with her.”

“Put her on ignore.”

“Move away.”

“She lives in Florida and I live in Michigan. I have thought about another country, trust me.”

“disown her. It'll mean you aren't in the will, but so what.”

“I moved out at 18 because of this. Now, going on 40, I am about to put her in my trunk in a sack for the same reason. Nothing that a shovel and a back of quick lime won't take care of.”

“She has taken me out, put me in, taken me out, put me back in that damn will so many times, it's not even funny. Thing is, and I have told her as many times, I don't want a thing she has. Never had it before, don't want it then. I am 40, also. With the way she is, though, you would think I was 16 and had no life at all. I guess I just wish she would realize that before I am her daughter, I am a human being. I'm done venting now. Thank you for listening. LOL!”

“you and spirit coyote could share a story or two”

“[i]PLAYS DEVILS ADVOCATE[i]

I was always the loner. I guess the black sheep of the family. I would drive right by the neighborhood and not stop in to see my folks. I don't know why, I just did. I am about your age and didn't always see eye to eye with them.

Now after my father was taken away suddenly with a heart attack my mom is alone.

They were married almost 40 years. My Mom had retired only 4 months. Months! before my Dad passed away.
That is how long she had to spend with my dad after working to raise us.

I spend as Much time as I can with her now.Doing things she wants to do.

[i]DONE PLAYING DEVILS ADVOCATE[/
i]

do what markO said!!”

“MarkO has a point. You don't have to read her letters. You can get caller ID and don't answer her calls when you don't want to.”

“I think it's hard to ignore your Mom. On the one hand you (I) love my Mom but she is quite stifling, and I feel guilty about not wanting to speak with her sometimes. She voices her fear of almost all the things I do, whether it is a business decision or solo hiking to the safari in Africa. I have tried to tell her to keep her fears to herself. I even went so far as to tell her her job as a Mom is support not doubt. She said her job as a Mom was to worry.

I remember about 2 years ago I was spending alot of money on a business deal and she was all "I hope you know what you're doing... what if... what if..... what if....." So I let her go on, at nearly the end of the conversation I said "Here's what I need you to say to me Mom 'I have faith in you and I know that you've done your research and I support you in all you do. Good luck." I actually made her say it I said thanks and before she could go back to the fear I ended the phone call.

Good luck Wolfeyes I feel your pain. I don't know if your Mom's interference comes from a place of love, I know mine does, it doesn't make it much easier to deal with.
last edited: 9/19/05 7:16:34 AM”

“Some people just need to learn to relax.

Let it all hang out!!!”

“I hear ya, Wolfeyes. Part of my problem is my mom in law is at the end of the block, and my mom is just under 3 miles away. Baaad juju!”

“ + + ”

“tb - A 2-3 hr travel cushion is a nice thing. OTOH, you have free baby sitters.”

“True dat, DH.”

“I know how you feel wolfeyes...

On the other side fo the coin...
The kidlets mom is always complaining to my son about me...

I have NO idea why, LOL...
;)”

“Oh I think I have a pretty good idea......

Hoohoohahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!”

“no way MarkO - really?! LOL...

:)”

“as with any relationship, the mother/child dynamics will take extra special effort to evolve into a healthy adult/adult relationship as we age along with our parents. i think it takes tremendous time, effort, patience and communication to acheive this. this seems worth to to avoid alienating oneself from our kin, LIFE IS TOO SHORT”

“Regarding what Tango said...it almost seems like the previous generation prefers to keep the Parent/Child roles firmly in place, and can't seem to unbend.”