Look what Bush's FEMA is up to now

“Nah, it sucks that there are a bunch of stumble bums in this country that would vote for that idiot. :)”

“Buddha, You should move. I know it kills you to be a Red Stater.”

“I've spoken to more than a few stumble bums who now wish they had voted for the other Christian.”

“Glory Hallelujah!

The FEMA inspector finially made it to my house last Friday, only 3 months after the hurricane hit me.
He did his inspection and I'm very encouraged I may get some help from FEMA yet.
No dollar figures but he said I would receive a letter in 7-10 days telling what aid I qualify for.”

“For some weird a$$ reason there's several hundred FEMA trailers sitting in a vacant lot in Jacksonville Beach, collecting dirt. Nobody seems to know why they're there. I've watched them being trucked in over the past 2 months, and they're still coming. A local reprter asked a FEMA representative about it and they knew nothing. Nice.”

“FEMA came to my house last week.
Only 3 months after the storm surge flood damage.”

“http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/04/26/katrina.congress.ap/index.html

Like they'd actually do this.”

“Brownie did a heckuva job!”

“FEMA is like the Norwegian Blue......??”

“so let's see, FEMA is broke dikkkked, the Hurricane Season is upon us, yep, better say ya gotta start over and do it NOW...that way, when they screw up again this year, ya got a WHOLE NEW excuse.......”

“I must say FEMA finially came thru with soem $ for me. Slow, but they did help some.

ALLSTATE is coming around also. They have admitted they underquoted my roof.”

“I'm glad to hear it stove. I finally settled up with my insurance company after 26 months and lots of borrowed money.”

“FEMA is the only government agency that needs to be junked?”

“The C.I.A. is The Gang That Can't Shoot Straight(can't get accurate information about WMD, etc.) and the N.S.A. is spying on citizens.

Any others?”

“The Federal Reserve isn't a GA , but needs to be extinguished. Its' only purpose is the keep the working man from getting a decent wage.”

“FEMA genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.

His horse has already died from thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what seems to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook and a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well cowboy", says the genie, "You know how I work, you have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this," said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation and it looks like you're a goner anyway."

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides the genie is right.

"Ok, I wish I was in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

POOF....

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen, and he is surrounded by jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"Ok cowpoke, what's your second wish?"

"My second wish is that I am rich beyond my wildest dreams."

POOF....

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"Ok cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. You'd better make it a good one."

After thinking for a few minutes the cowboy says, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want me and need me."

POOF....

He has turned into a tampon.

Moral of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there is going to be a string attached!”