Lesbianville, USA

“Interesting article

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2005/10/09/square_like_me/

OK the link makes you register, so here is the article:

Square Like Me
Where in Massachusetts are family values alive and kicking? "Lesbianville, USA," actually.

By Elinor Lipman | October 9, 2005

Here in Northampton, we are lifestyle-friendly. When The National Enquirer called us "Lesbianville, USA" some time back, we said, Sure, OK. Not every burg can be "the Athens of America" or "the City That Never Sleeps." I drink my morning coffee from a mug that reads, "Northampton: Where the coffee is strong and so are the women," and I liked the ring of "heterosexual ally" when I was introduced at a domestic-partnership ordinance fund-raiser here 10 years ago.

It is a lovely place to live for all kinds of reasons. Last fall, my husband and I were at a dinner party. After the meal, our hosts (two women) rolled up the figurative rug and played a CD of oldies that had been the wedding music for two other guests (two more women). As Bob and I danced, I looked around and felt a wave of something like utopian bliss: Here in a happy social melting pot were two lesbian couples, two married guys, my husband and me, and a second heterosexual couple who provided another kind of magic - the husband hadn't said a word at dinner, but when he took the floor, executed the moves of a ballroom coach.

So how do I explain my puritanical shock - I of the I'm OK-You're OK lifestyle outlook - when I hear about the extramarital shenanigans of straight couples? For example: As I was drumming up business for a friend's reading at my local bookshop, I asked the woman weeding my perennial garden if she was looking for something to do that night. "Can't," she said airily, wedding band flashing in the sun. "Tomorrow is my boyfriend's birthday, and I haven't bought his present yet."

When I wasn't able to formulate a response, she added helpfully that she was in an open marriage and, further, that her husband - who'd be babysitting the kids while she was wining and dining the boyfriend - was helping her think of a suitable gift. Of course, I needed to know if the husband had a girlfriend and if the boyfriend had a wife. No and no. She was the brightest star in this particular emotional constellation, or so her happy smile implied. I should add that this woman was - how do I say this delicately? - no Maria Sharapova. Think Birkenstocks and knee-highs.

Tsk tsk, I thought as I listened to another philanderer tell me she'd left her husband and two children for the stranger in the middle seat on whose shoulder she had fallen asleep while flying to West Palm Beach. Similarly, I know that a goody-goody twitch crossed my face when another hostess, a new acquaintance, told me that her current husband started off - quite adorably, one was supposed to infer - as her children's nanny. How badly did I take the news that a cousin left the salt-of- the-earth husband we all adored because she'd married at 20 and missed the sexual revolution? And did I think much of the bum (he was a doctor) who announced he was leaving my friend because he wanted to have sex 2.5 times per week, the national average, and they were not?

I take divorce between my coupled friends hard, especially those whose troubled marriages and fooling around have escaped my detection. Do I want these people to remain in unhappy unions? Not exactly. My low threshold for breakups is less about puritanism than it is my own sheltered life and failure of imagination. I want my friends to be happy, their lives tidy, my address book unedited. It's about me. I don't like change, and I know from experience that life won't be the same, that in an effort not to take sides, I'll soon be dining with each of the exes and his or her odd choice of a new flame.

I must be a prude. Could it be that I have the moral and family values of those people who smirked at my "Very Kerry" button last election? But wait. Wouldn't those moral values be incompatible with Northampton civic pride and my wanting to be a bridesmaid at my gay friends' weddings? Maybe not. Maybe we Northamptonites are simply traditional, prescribing the same square things: Respect the laws, especially those minted in Massachusetts. Stand by your man or woman. Elect marriage, and leave the open ones to the wacky heterosexuals.
last edited: 10/11/05 12:55:16 PM”

“son of a...! I tried yahoo maps but it didn't come up with directions to Lesbianville.

"Hey Honey I found where we are going on vacation!"”

“It's just down the road from Swingertown.”

“Then again, I think going to Lesbianville for vacation would be like going to Disneyland when your 500 lbs. It's a nice place and everyone seems happy but you can't ride anything.”

“i think you might be looking for bisexualfemaleburg
last edited: 10/11/05 3:15:27 PM”

“Nigal, that's the quote of the day. Hilarious.”

“LOL @ @! That's a classic!”

“i'm just waiting for someone to plan a trip here”

“am i the only one to find it interesting that pedxing is eager to register with lezbean websites?”

“Crash: the website is the Boston Globe.”

“That name is soooo gay.”

“am i the only one to find it interesting that pedxing is in denial?

:-)”

“LOL! Actually I am in de Merrimack.

(OK,I admit it - although it is a cliche. Despite my clever disguise of being a man, I am actually a lesbian.)”

“Pre or post op? Have ya "split the banana" yet? You'r e good lookin' guy and all so don't get me wrong here but you would make ugly broad. LOL!”

“pedxing What's the point of this?

That lesbians are actually more ethical than heterosexuals?

Lesbians are just capable (no more or less) as heterosexuals at being wacky, unethical, immoral, or civic minded , monogamous, etc.

They are people; no more, no less.”

“It's his coming out thread. That's why he made it feugo so it'd have the little flame beside the thread title.”

“Next thing you know, there'll be Homosapiens running around all over the place!”

“sounds sexy, Aero! you got electricity back, or what?”

“After almost three days! I was taking stuff out of the refrigerator to keep it cold!”

“oh brrrrr!! well i'm glad you got it back. MT is crazy, maybe you should move to Lesbianville! LOL. although MA is pretty cold itself.”

“Guy here at works regularly goes to NorthHampton with his wife . . .

I sometimes get the feeling they are shopping for a co-ed.”

“Well it's more interesting the shopping for cornflakes.”

“Actually research suggests that lesbians are more monogamous than heterosexuals and heterosexuals are more monagamous than gay men.”

“Nothing shocking there just based on gender differences alone.”

“So the likelyhood of a relationship to fail (become unfaithful) increases with the number of men involved in that relationship?”

“rotflmao!”

“Hmmm, don't think I was going there, but maybe. That is the actual conclusion to what I said. I guess what I meant is that the more guys are involved the more sex that is likely to take place?”

“I think dayhiker is probably right.

William James was impressed with revelations he got while high on nitrous oxide, but couldn't remember them. He decided to do nitrous again and write down any brilliant revelations he got and evaluate it when he later. He was a bit dissapointed to read:

"Higamus, hogamus —
Woman is monogamous.
Hogamus, higamus —
Man is polygamous."

(I tried to verify the story, because it was told to me long ago - it appears to be basically true. I found one version Reported in the National Review see:
http://www.nationalreview.com/derbyshire/derbyshire200409300813.asp
)”

“"I think going to Lesbianville for vacation would be like going to Disneyland when your 500 lbs. It's a nice place and everyone seems happy but you can't ride anything.”
FrankeNigal
2:02:48 PM
10/11/05"

This whole thread was more than worth it for that post, even if it launched rumours that I am being retrofitted so I can go and play in Lesbianville. But heck, if they are all that monogamous, what's the point?”