True Friends

“A True Friend

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series
of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass

This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask, because
you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get
depressed because you can only think of nine. Remember: A good friend
will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let
me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.”

“A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A really good friend will be in the cell with you saying, Damn that was fun!!”

“LMAO!!!”

“A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.”

“You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.”

“Well, you can, but it's kind of gross....”

“Excellent one Chuck D

Nice list ST.”

“LMAO!
Treasure your true friends.....
They are rare....”

“Not if you cook them thoroughly.”

“LOL, ped.”

“This past weekend we had a dinner party and one of our friends forgot to bring some shrimp he had promised to bring. On Monday morning at work I heard someone calling my name and it was my friend---with a pound of shrimp for me. :)”

“Nice!”

“"If you offer music and food
Strangers may stop with you;
But if you accord with the Way
All the people of the world will keep you
In safety, health, community, and peace.

The Way lacks art and flavour;
It can neither be seen nor heard,
But its benefit cannot be exhausted." -- Lao Tzu”

“Did you ban him from the dinner party?


LMAO


sorry”

“LOL”

“LOL 2 times”

“probably so Opie...and I'm not laughing.”