Need a good laugh?

“http://www.fox.com/tradingspouses/

Take a peek at Marguerite Perrin as she speaks her mind after returning from her experience on "Trading Spouses."

”

“why do i get the feeling this chick goes postal about once a month?”

“More often than that I expect.”

“I've gone to church with people like that. I've been close to that precipice myself. It's easy to blame your personal weaknesses on God.


Hopefully her family will be inspired to lock her away with the money from the show.”

“ME too! Hit me with your best shot....”

“great song”

“lol...good one!”

“wow.....youre easy....tickle tickle”

“I'm a total dork but I totally thought "great song" was funny...lol”

“is it just me, or does "lol" look like a star wars tie fighter?”

“sorta, is this an "x wing" xox?

no I am not offering to hug or kiss you.”

“Is it just me, or does "olo" look like ... uh, n/m”

“nevermind
last edited: 12/12/05 8:43:28 PM”

“o shuck it
last edited: 12/12/05 8:47:05 PM”

“Is this the look you were going for crash?

”

“>o<”

“(.)(.)”

“Dontevenreply.com


if you are bored or need a laugh Photos for this post are there.

Innovative Baby Products
Posted at: 2010-05-19 00:11:41 | 85 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
LARGE CRIB WANTED
I need a large(tall) crib for my 9 month old. The crib I have right now is too small - he keeps climbing out! I need a crib that is too high for my baby to get out of it. Please respond with pictures. Contact Julia @ ********@verizon.net


From Me to ********@verizon.net:

Hey Julia,

I may have the perfect crib for you. It is a very large crib that has some features to prevent your baby from escaping. Please let me know if you are interested.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

How big is it? Do you have any pictures of it?

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

It is very large. As I said, it has modifications to prevent escape. The entire top perimeter of the crib has been reinforced with a metal frame that is connected to a car battery. When someone tries to escape the crib, they will be given a gentile electric shock, which will discourage them from attempting to climb out of the crib again. The price includes a 12 volt car battery, but a higher-voltage battery can always be purchased, depending on how fat your child is. Here is a picture of the setup:



I am currently using the crib for one of my friends who happens to be a midget. He tends to frequently get drunk and violent, so we put him in this crib when he starts getting belligerent. The battery works great for keeping him in, so I am assuming it will work great for your child. The only reason I am getting rid of it is because the midget was recently arrested for arson, so he won't be around for a while.

I have something else that you may be interested in as well. Are you tired of waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of your baby crying? With this clever device, you won't even have to get out of bed to calm your baby.



It is a little mobile that I invented called "The Lullibinator." Simply hang it above the crib, and the microphone will detect when the baby is crying. If the crying reaches a certain decibel level, the box will spray a calming mist of pepper spray into the crib. It trains your baby not to cry in no time! It worked great on the midget when he started yelling. It comes with 2% CS pepper spray, which is practically harmless. It can be upgraded to bear mace if your child continues to cry. I have decorated the Lullibinator with friendly smiley faces to comfort your baby.

I am asking $50 for the Lullibinator, and $250 for the crib/battery combo. Let me know if you want to set up a time to stop by and check this stuff out.

Thanks,

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

Oh my god

From Julia ******** to Me:

Please tell me you're kidding. You're kidding, right?

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

Why would I be kidding? I thought $250 was more than reasonable. I got a lot of use out of these things before social services took my kid away. I still do whenever the midget comes over.

Mike

From Julia ******** to Me:

I...don't know what to say to you. You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. How dare you ever think that I would use this for my child. Don't you ever e-mail me again, you scumbag.

From Me to Julia ********:

Julia,

I've been called some harsh things for my haggling tactics, but you seem to have been very offended by the price I have offered. I am sorry; I had no intention of offending you. I will drop the total price to $200 for everything, and I'll even throw this in for free:



Now you won't have to get up to give your baby a bottle when he is thirsty. This handy crib-bottle will allow your baby to quench his thirst any time he wants. It doesn't have to necessarily be filled with tequila (like I said, this crib was set up for a midget). It can easily be filled with Gatorade, breast milk, or whatever else your baby prefers. Throw in a can of food and the baby can practically live on his own!

Please let me know when you are going to pick this stuff up. I am going to Atlantic City for the weekend, so I need you to get it before I leave.

Thanks,

Mike


85 comments | Add Comment”

“Its electric, boogey-wooogy-wooogy!”

“LOL check out dontevenreply.com”

“i need a good laugh, but i need a hug more.”

“Hugs to you Diz...

I loved some of these.....those who know me, know I have an evil streak.....I LMAO at some of these......”