Math for the Sexes

“ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

“That last one is classic.”

“I like the last one too!”

“LOL!!!!”

“I never was good at math :(
That last one gets my vote too.”

“Tomorrow is Square Root Day! 3/3/09! Only happens 9 times each century.

Time to partaaaaaaaaaay”

“Guess I'll take the day off.”

“I was about to make a joke about a square peg and thought, "naaaaaaaaah....."     LOL”

“Girls that do math are sexy.”

“Yup!



Danica McKellar, from "The Wonder Years".

She wrote a book to help girls with math, she's a frickin genius.
last edited: 3/03/09 4:43:11 AM”

“The girl who played Blossom, Mayim Bialik, has a BA in Hebrew and Jewish Studies and a Phd in neuroscience. Not as stunning but still pretty.

”

“Yah but she was in Beaches. Permanently stained by that fact. Ugh.”

“I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

(Square root of three poem from Harold and Kumar)”

“Hyway, thanks for posting that nice poem about this special day, instead of hot chicks pictures. Why oh why can't the rest of you be just like hyway??????”

“

you do the math...
last edited: 3/03/09 5:04:10 AM”

“That looks suspiciously like "1+1=3"...”

“Engineers Love poem (I didn't write this)

I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love

But now that you are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You've turned the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid

You load things from my memory
Onto my system bus
My life was once assembly code
It's now like C++

I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage 'cross your diode is
much more than just point six

With your op-amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You're my function generator

You've changed my world, increased my gain
And made my discrete math
So now I'll end my poem here
Control, Alt, and Delete.”

“not if you factor in the middle condom shape...
last edited: 3/03/09 5:07:55 AM”

“My life was once assembly code
It's now like C++

Women will do this to you.”

“(This one should get me laid)(i didn't write this either)

I thought my life was going as planned,
Parallel, congruent, and right,
Until I met you,
My supplement,
My perfect square.

But now I don't seem to know acute from obtuse,
Alternate from consecutive,
I find myself thinking of your proportional smile,
Rather than the Pythagorean theorem,

Our lives are perpendicular,
Each point has lead to our intersection.
I hope you can see through my skewed logic,
And realize the potential of our congruent love.”

“that is so not hot hyway. And to think some people think engineers are geeks and nerds...”

“I find myself thinking of your proportional smile, isn't hot? Ok fine, i'll try a non-math one:

you are my sun, my moon my starlite sky. without you I dwell in darkness. Come to me....TONIGHT let me worship you in my arms! I love you! My heart is beating like never before! (out of fear) out of love! (I can stop you....I'll kill you) death next to love is a trivial thing. Your touch is worth a hundred thousand deaths!”

“This is more my level.....remember SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK?

Three is a magic number,
Yes it is, it's a magic number.
Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity
You get three as a magic number.

The past and the present and the future.
Faith and Hope and Charity,
The heart and the brain and the body
Give you three as a magic number.

It takes three legs to make a tri-pod
Or to make a table stand.
It takes three wheels to make a ve-hicle
Called a tricycle.

Every triangle has three corners,
Every triangle has three sides,
No more, no less.
You don't have to guess.
When it's three you can see
It's a magic number.

A man and a woman had a little baby,
Yes, they did.
They had three in the family,
And that's a magic number.

3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
Multiply backwards from three times ten:

Three time ten is (30), three times nine is (27),
Three times eight is (24), three times seven is (21),
Three times six is (18), three times five is (15),
Three times four is twelve,
And three times three is nine, and three times two is six,
And three times one is three of course.

Now take the pattern once more:
Three! . . .3-6-9
Twelve! . . .12-15-18
Twenty-one!. . .21-24-27. . .30

Now multiply from 10 backwards:
Three time ten is (30 - Keep going), three times nine is (27),
Three times eight is (24), three times seven is (21),
Three times six is (18), three times five is (15),
Three times four is twelve,
And three times three is nine, and three times two is six,
And three times one...
What is it?!
Three!
Yeah, That's a magic number.

A man and a woman had a little baby.
Yes, they did.
They had three in the family.
That's a magic number.”

“Next one is April 4, 2016, BTW.”

“When it comes to more than basic math I am probably the square root of retarded.”

“no wildbill, I don't remember that song.

Then again, I am not as old as you are.”

“Heyyyyy, I ain't that old. Maybe this will help.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11N-BD1aBo0”

“Someone please stuff a couple of cheeseburgers down Danica's throat.....she needs some meat on her bones.

She's hot though.....Too bad I never followed that series.....”

“Why oh why can't the rest of you be just like hyway??????”
Creek Dancer
6:11:45 AM
3/03/09


Because we don't want to wake up spooning some guy at trail days wearing a corny looking hat.”