Christmas Party

“RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!

We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m..

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 5th November 2004

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.

There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have
other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline.

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees


DATE: 6th November 2004

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director


TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2004

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!

Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs; perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress: no cross dressing allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low fat food will be available for those on a diet.

We cannot control the salt used in the food; we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first..

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts.

Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: 8 November 2004

RE: The F****** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks, I've had it with you people!!!

We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too.

They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them
scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday; drink, drive and die.

The #&%!$ from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources
Director

DATE: 9th November 2004

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.”

“Tomatoes are not alive when you eat them. It offends me when people suggest fruits & veggies are alive when you eat them.

The only exception I can think of is sprouts. But know one should eat those, unless you like food poisoning.”

“LOL! I feel her pain!”

“I want to ask a "opinion" question here that involves teachers and children's "view" on other religions. Do you think that teachers play a huge role in creating bias among children or do you think that is created by family influences.

The reason I ask this is due to the holidays coming up there have been some "conflicts" between teachers, administrators and parents at a local school. I agree with the the argument that if you are going to show one religion's aspect at this time of year than its appropriate to show other religions' way of celebrating. BUT, a administrator tried to pin it on the teachers for creating a bias between children because there were occurences between children over differences in religion.

What do you think?”

“They both have a major influence on children's biases.”

“LMAO with Buck.”

“Everyone that has a role in a child's education is responsible for any bias that may be developed. It is the parents that should be talking to their children to understand what it is they are learning. The parents should be the ones guiding the children away from these biases.

Let's not forget the religious community’s bias of the children. Bias is everywhere and religious bias starts in Church, Synagogues, Shuls, Temples and Mosques. There are many levels and depths of bias. Some Christian churches teach that only their brand of Christianity is the right kind of Christianity and all others go to hell.”

“This administrator tried to lay the blame on the teachers for the child's comment.”

“good one Buck”

“Funny, but more true to life than many people know.”

“so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it

LMAO!”

“Buck...to true bro!”

“It seems to me that this subject was discussed on another string. I went through a soul searching period, while working in a supermarket. Previously, I had wished people "Merry Christmas" without a second thought about it. It was the time of the year for such a greeting. Then I began to wonder about it and switched to saying, "Happy Holidays." This didn't seem right or correct, so I said the hell with it. I was raised with "Merry Christmas," so that was my exit greeting with all the customers. It's a friendly greeting meaning no harm. So, if it upset anyone, they could select a different checkout line during their next shopping trip.

There's no Holiday like Christmas. So, Merry Christmas, everyone. And Happy New Year.”

“somehow, reading nowslimmer say "to hell with it" and then talking about wishing everyone "Merry Christmas" is kinda funny.

but i'm a little warped like that anyway.”