Tookie Williams

“Tookie the Ducky Beats the Rap
A Golden Book Classic
By Stanley "Tookie" Williams

Once upon a time, down a bright sunny alley behind a magical cottage in a faraway kingdom called Compton, lived a little quacky ducky named Tookie. Tookie was brave and strong and all of the other duckies knew to respect him, because otherwise Tookie and his friend Sammy Sawed-Off would mess you up bad, understand?

One day, Tookie was feeling very, very sad, because he had run out of Kools. "Who will help me get my Kools?" he said. "I will help you get your Kools!" said Blackie. So Tookie and Blackie drove to the 7-Eleven in Tookie's Monte Carlo.

"Give me some Kools!" Tookie asked Clerky Ducky. Clerky Ducky gave him the Kools, but he was very very slow, so Tookie greased the quacker with Sammy Sawed-Off. "Boom!" said Sammy.

"Ha ha!" laughed Tookie. "Listen to Clerky's funny sounds! Gurgle gurgle gurgle!"

"#&%!$, Took, you one crazy ass muthaducka," said Blackie, who was so scared he dropped his Big Gulp.

Tookie was so proud of what a good job he had done that he started new duck club that he called the Quacks. He gave all of his Quacks friends pretty blue bonnets and Tec-9s. "If you see any muthaducka wearing a red bonnet, pop a cap in they ducktail," said Tookie.

The Quacks all loved Tookie and all the other duckies feared him, and soon he was King of all of Compton. But Tookie was still sad because he needed some money. So he drove his Monte Carlo to the Brookhaven Motel on Vermont.

"Give me some money!" said Tookie to Mister slanty eyed Hotel Duck and his family.

"You get out my motel!" yelled Mister Hotel Duck, in his stupid ching-chong Chinaduck voice.

"Boom! Boom! Boom!" boomed Sammy Sawed-Off, who turned their buddaheads into ching chong duck chop suey.

Then something very very bad happened. Blackie the Ducky turned into a stool pigeon. He went to the Piggies and ratted on Tookie. Tookie was very sad, because he knew then he should have killed Blackie at the 7-Eleven when he had his chance. The Piggies took away his best friend Sammy Sawed-Off, and put him in the San Quentin coop with the naughty duckies.

"Who is the new fish?" said some mean duckies in the exercise yard, watching Tookie do his bench presses. This made Tookie and his Quack friends angry, so they messed 'em up bad and made them into their #&%!$es, and that was the end of that #&%!$.

Still, Tookie was very sad because the piggies were going to roast him. He layed in the coop and wrote appeals. He dreamed of freedom and payback for that punkass #&%!$ Blackie, who had flown up north and was serving time for capping some Canadian geese. Then Tookie had a very very good idea: he would write a book of his adventures for ducklings.

The beautiful and powerful and noisy swans from Malibu heard about Tookie and his happy duckling books. There was Susan and Barbra and Sean and Danny and Whoopie and Bianca, and their friend Jamie the Fox. Together they honked, and what a loud noise the beautiful swans made! "Honk! Honk! Free Tookie the Ducky!" they honked. "Tweet tweet!" cried Tim the Robbin.

But Arnold, the King of the Piggies, was very mean and did not listen to their beautiful swan song. Finally, his wise Councilpigs told him: "if you roast Tookie then the Quacks will set all of Compton on fire. And then your goose will be cooked."

Just about then, something magical happened: King Arnold turned into a chicken. Tookie was pardoned, and he flew to Europe where the beautiful swallows gave him prizes and awards for his wonderful books. The beautiful swans in Malibu cheered and honked and offered Tookie documentaries and albums and biopics with walk-on cameos. Tookie eventually returned to Compton and the Quacks had a big celebration with hats and cake and 40s and Tec-9s.

And all the other ducks in Compton? Those #&%!$es remembered they better watch their ducktails. And they lived fearfully ever after.”

“Somebody (Obviousdude) needs to get their own troll.”

“What a crybaby.”

“If prison behaviour is any indication of being "reformed" then "tookie" may have come up a little short, he was far from the model prisnor. The media convieniently skipped that report. I won't bother linking, the liberals will rationalize and the ones with sense will already know what I'm talking about.”

“Need I remind you narrow-minded buffoons that not all liberals necessarily live up to your generalizations...”

“Stop interfering with the culture of death, treebeard. You're violating the prime directive.”

“my bad”

“Twas the night before Christmas and all through San Quentin, the crips were protesting, and liberals were ventin'.

The cyanide hung by the chamber wth care, in hopes that the reaper soon would be there.

The inmates were nestled all snug in their bed; except for Old Tookie, who soon would be dead.

And me with my beer mug, dressed warm in my flannell, had curled up to watch it, on the Fox News Channel.

I set up my TIVO to record the news station, and thoroughly loved the momentous occasion.

It seemed lady justice had gotten her way, and that there would be one less savage today.

When outside the jail there arose such a clatter, the cameras had turned to see what was the matter.

When what to my civilized eyes did appear, but a lineup of actors, all liberal, half queer.

The misguided freaks drew some curious looks, as they proclaimed his innocence; clutching his books.

The tears then flew out from Sarandon's eyes, as she nominated him again for the Nobel Peace Prize.

The actors were tethered to an ACLU sleigh, all towing the line of the urban decay.

On Asner, on Penn, on liberal cop-haters, On Sharpton, on Jesse and other race-baiters.

Then at 12:01 all curled up like a beetle, Tookie cried like a beeotch as they gave him the needle.

When up from the actors there arose such a cry, they had failed in their mission, and Tookie DID DIE !!

I heard Bill O'Reilly say, as I turned out my light, Merry Christmas to all...there was justice tonight !!”

“Margo, that was great!”

“a waxy poetic.....”

“Outstanding Margo!”

“Need I remind you narrow-minded buffoons that not all liberals necessarily live up to your generalizations...”
Treebeard
11:41:59 AM
12/14/05

You do.”

“Kill kill kill.”

“BP, go back to making America's rest area's safe from gays! Now, run along...”

“Obviousdude. Is it too hard to think of your own troll? If you're not smart enough to think of it in the first place, maybe you don't deserve the name.

Obviousdude is dumb.”

“birch hit on the issue that's been on my mind. While it's great and wonderful that he wrote those books and did all that work, he did start one of the most infamous gangs out there. Gangs surely existed before him, but he's responsible for one of the worst. You can't close Pandora's box.”

“Not to mention he refused to help police identify other criminal gang members. So much for being anti-gang.

Thank God the murdering scumbag is dead. I hope his death was as painful as the deaths of his victims.”

“Let's not forget there are hundreds of babies killed every day compared to how many put to death on death row there Mr. Culture of Death Violin. And the babies are innocent.

Talk about a culture of death.”

“But we can't see the babies, so it's cool.

Out of sight, out of mind.”

“There are some people who it's nearly impossible to defend. This guy was one of them. unfortunatley there are many more cases which are less clear cut and show up the problems with the death penalty.”

“Do away with the death penalty and decriminalize drugs. Problem solved.”

“As the death penalty is working so well at the moment. And I guess the "War on Drugs" has been won”

“Sorry Y2, that wasn’t sarcasm. It has been shown that the death penalty is a deterrent. But at what cost? As for drugs there are some 700,000 convicted drug offenders in jails right now and most are non violent recreational users. Joe Pothead down the street. Not Puablo Escabar. When we see that it takes about $20,000 a year per prisoner + the resources to fight the drug war which has gotten us absolutely no results sense 1963 when it was waged…well it becomes clear we’re wasting our time in trying to control what people put in there bodies.

In short the reduction in non violent drug offenders would more than make room for the life with out parolers.”

“Nigal, this year, my state decided to make pot busts less of a priority to concentrate on bigger crimes like you say. British Columbia is way ahead of us on that. They are very soft on pot busts. They have one area where the prostitues and pot sellers hang out and they don't bother them or at least they don't seem to. I drive by that area on my way to my favorite restaurant in B.C. Everyone is always on the street hawking their goods whether it's flesh or pot. I don't know if they have harder drugs being peddled there, but it seems to stay there.
last edited: 12/14/05 8:59:46 PM”

““Do away with the death penalty and decriminalize drugs. Problem solved.”
Nigal

There's a lot to what you say here. But, saying that the death penalty is a dterrant? I don't believe that. There's way too many out there these days that couldn't give a crap about consequences. What else would give the rationale of a crime that makes it to the "senseless crime" status? Take a look at states like Florida and texas. Has death row reduced violent crime in those states? I don't believe so. They remain some of the most violent in the U.S.
No, too many whack-jobs out there not giving a hoot about dying...”

“The death penalty is a "penalty". If it's a deterrant also, great, nice side benefit. Nevertheless, it's a penalty.”

“But, the deterrant thing has been used as a major rationale for its existence, Sarge...”

“source:Bureau of Criminal Justice

”

“boy that graph is convincing.
i was gonna pop a cap in treebeard's ass the next time i saw him, take his wallet, and rape his wife- but that graph just scared me straight!

thanks nigal, i owe you one!”

““But, the deterrant thing has been used as a major rationale for its existence, Sarge...”
Treebeard

That may be, but I don't have to agree with that. I've never used it for that.”

“You gonna take out Tree's butt??

Which cheek??”

“Once again, sacko brings nothing but rhetorical jib jab to the discussion. If a discussion is outside of your scope of reasoning then just stay out of it and leave it to the adults like me and Tree.”

“The graph is not convincing because it doesn't leave open the possibility of outside factors as reasons for increases and declines.

Policing, enforcment, community relations, economic conditions, education---just to name a few...

BTW, explain the amount of violence in Texas and Florida, also...


Also, do think it's possible that quite a few people in history have been executed and have truly been innocent? Have you read any stories of people being released from jail, due to beter forensic capabilities, that served many years, only to be cleared later?
last edited: 12/15/05 8:58:16 AM”

“i appologize for using such childish allegory, nigal.

in the future i will try to keep things more mature and concise, as you always seem to do.

what i should have stated was that i do not believe anyone with the intent of performing such heinous acts as murder or rape really cares about the eventual possible punsishment they may recieve.

BTW, what the hell's up your ass this a.m.? can't disagree without personal insults?”

“Nothing's up my ass sacko. Remember, "The greatest trick the troll ever pulled was conviencing the world he doesn't exist.".

I'm fukcing with you...

See? >>>>> :)”

“well you hurt me nigal, you cut me real deep.”

“Also, do think it's possible that quite a few people in history have been executed and have truly been innocent? Have you read any stories of people being released from jail, due to beter forensic capabilities, that served many years, only to be cleared later?
last edited: 12/15/05 9:58:16 AM”
Treebeard
9:55:15 AM


google my name!”

“Nigal Soze is in the house.”

“"BTW, explain the amount of violence in Texas and Florida, also..."

Florida murders in 1960- 527
Florida murders in 2000- 903

Murders per 100,000 in 1960- 10.6
Murders per 100,000 in 2000- 5.6

Texas murders in 1960- 824
Texas murders in 2000- 1,238

Murders per 100,000 in 1960- 8.6
Murders per 100,000 in 2000- 5.9

While most of the other states, including some that do not have the death penalty, rose in their murder rates. Even your home state where they have some pretty strict gun control laws it rose while Florida and Texas dropped.

http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/”

“"Also, do think it's possible that quite a few people in history have been executed and have truly been innocent? Have you read any stories of people being released from jail, due to beter forensic capabilities, that served many years, only to be cleared later?"

This is not the crux of my point. Look up the thread. I'm the guy that said to do away with it.”

“N - checkout the Jules WInfield Hockey thread.”

“I've seen that. Gawd that's funny! LOL!”

“I think the death penalty is a deterrent for certain people and those would be the more law abiding ones, and for the less abiding ones, it's a good way to get rid of them.

The fairly new law of getting the death penalty for killing a cop was not instituted for no reason. Yes, they still get killed but by the worse vermon on the earth who don't abide by more simple laws or morals of humanity.”

“The death penalty is societal RETRIBUTION.”

“Nigal, could the increase in murders in those states be for two reasons, an increase in the population and an increase of illegal immigrants? Just a thought.”