what do you do......

“What do you do when you are having a REALLY, REALLY BAD DAY ???? I'm looking for a nice cliff to throw myself off :(”

“A hot bath or shower helps. Loud upbeat music, too.”

“i beat my dog




that was a joke by the way...why don't you, um, i don't know....go hiking?
last edited: 1/17/06 12:37:51 PM”

“Think of the worst job I ever had that I never have to do again.”

“spank it”

“Gawd Sarge, not in front of the children!




OH! You mean the day......nevermind.
last edited: 1/17/06 12:51:48 PM”

“I hear you, daydreamer.

I never should have got out of bed today.

1) My alarm didn't go off. I have to rush a shower and get to work ASAP.

2) I walk out my door and the top of a Power Roof vent from my house is sitting in my front yard.

3) This morning is when they get the railroad bridge fixed and I get stopped by a long long slow train for the first time since the hurricane.

4) It starts a hard blowing rain as I get out of my car and my umbrella is useless. My pants legs are soaked from the thighs down.

5) I get in and the network has lost two routers so email isn't working and the internet is dead slow.

6) I leave work around 9:30 to check on rain entering my house from the capless vent.
Yes it is. I have to juryrig a temp fix from inside my ceiling. To wet and dangerous to get on the roof.

7) Return to work and the damn email is still broken.


Soooooooooooooooooo.......Kinda makes your day look not quite so BAD! LOL!”

“hpm - yeah ... the "day" ... That's the ticket!”

“I would recommend the Day of Atonement For Men thread if you can find it.”

“I go to my spiritual place.”

“i was having a crappy day the other day, then i watched 'murderball'.. that documentary about quad rugby players, and i realized life ain't so #&%!$ty!”

“Was 'murderball' any good?”

“There are some really nice high cliffs out west, but I would think there must be something closer to your area.”

“yeah, i definately recommend it. i didn't know mtv was involved in the production aspect of it, and it shows in the presentation, but still a good, make ya think, hour and thirty minutes. i watched it 2 days ago and i'm still thinking about it.”

“Atonement is not what it used to be - it got moved to fuego for some unknown reason: http://www.thebackpacker.com/trailtalk/thread/39967,-1.php”

“A bad day! I just get on TT and try to aggravate the trolls. Of course, I try to do that on good days, too.”

“I went to the bank this morning and found out someone got into my accounts and WIPED ME OUT !!!!! My accounts are locked down and I have NO MONEY !!!! They wiped out my checking AND savings.
I am in full blown panic mode. I feel a primal urge to kill something (not my dog ).
I can't win for losing !!”

“I beat my dogs. And my rats. And my spouce....but I beat him in a diffrent way...”

“OMG ...how horrible for you daydreamer!!!!..I wish you luck!!!....

SC...you are sooooooo bad :0”

“tuesdays....i could never get the hang of tuesdays”

“When your new wife calls you, very upset, to say her ex cornered her in the grocery store and proceeds to tell her how upset he is that he lost his best friends "because of her"? A thinly veiled "grief" over the fact that he's pissed that they are our best friends now, that we are married (which he learned about a week before we were married), and that the friends hosted our wedding on their farm. Forget that he's a self indulged prick from hell that has no "filters". And he's very good at alienating everyone. That his therapist tells him he needs to express his feelings this way.

What would you do?

I jumped in my car and drove down to WholeFoods, hoping to grind the #&%!$tards face into the pavement. I am very much looking forward to our next encounter, to berate him and beat him if he doesn't apologize and promise never to speak to my wife again, which is her desire.

Is that wrong? I can't stop thinking about it. I also know where he lives....it's been a long time since I've been violent but I'm #&%!$ing pissed off beyond belief and it's not going away.

Thanks. I needed to vent a little.
last edited: 7/24/06 6:31:39 PM”

“Now see, THAT is why we have standards for gun possession. LOL!

OK, no joking now. You have got to grab that shlt sandwich with both hands and smile and chew. You have got to show this guy exactly why you have his wife and his friends. Because you are not like him and you don't do things like everything you just described wanting to do to him. Or, go down to Gun Valley and get ya an untraceable peice and shoot him in the face. Your choice really.”

“LMAO! Yes, I should never own a gun. Sometimes my Sicilian side just bursts out. So wait, i tell him off but no violence? Can i threaten a little ultra violence? The boy has no concept of right and wrong, that's why I'm thinking some violence is required, no?”

“Walk away. Oak trees make acorns,can't change that.”

“He's such a #&%!$ing coward, though. he wouldn't dare say anything to Dani in front of me. What if I get him to hit me? I'm pretty good at riling people up.”

“Bear....dude...if it was legal I would drive up there tonight and teach him how to scream from WAY DOWN INSIDE.

THe sad fact is that he is sick. If one of us Sh____ed our pants...the others would give us grief. But if one of us was puking and crapping with Dysentery we would do everything in our power to help them.

The fact is he is sick. I deal with that everyday. He knows the buttons to push to piss your wife off. This is not an excuse, it is an explanation. There are jerks who are suffering a hell all their own. When we respond we often give them the wierd positive response they want. We become like the GI Joe doll that squawks when you pull the cord.

With many of these people you have to learn to disarm the buttons. As with other CHILDREN when the toy won't work they leave it alone.

Now for what to do. IF he threatened, or grabbed your wife, call the cops. Charge his ass. IF necessary get a Peace Bond filed on him.

I am sorry you are going through this. I just spent 3 years or more protecting a woman from a VIOLENT ex. THE SOB knew her buttons and he kept pushing them until she fled this city with my best friend (her new guy).

For Dani...I assume that is her name, tell her the next time he "confronts" her. She is to tell him to LEAVE, GET AWAY FROM ME as loud as she can. If he doesn't call 911. Let the Cops handle this. You do not need me having to drive up there to bail your tail out of jail.

Finally dude, you are right he is a coward, cowards live off creating fear, the way to end it is to make him understand that regardless of what his psychobabblist says if he grabs her THAT IS KIDNAPPING AND BATTERY, if he obstructs her, THAT IS unlawful imprisonment. CALL THE POLICE and LOCK HIS ASS UP.

My email on my name works. If you need some help let me know.”

“And just so you understand I have to stand there...literally stand there and take the abuse from similar people. We have one particular twit who is a drug addict, alchoholic who blames 3 weeks in NAM for his problem.
He used to get away cussing and threatening people. Then one afternoon he decided to threaten a young friend of mine. He explained in GRAPHIC DETAIL what he was going to do to her.

I walked out to my Jeep, called for a Sheriff Officer. Walked into the club and we arrested him. We walked him out to the car (he called his psychobabblist) and explained he was having flashbacks.

I know his doctor, I explained that if something happened I was holding the DOCTOR responsible for letting him out. Jacko Spent three weeks in the happy ward. He is much less violent and obnoxious around me.”

“Damn XL. Thanks!

He is a sad sack of #&%!$. It's unfortunate the best thing I can do is not get physical. This growed up #&%!$ sucks. LOL! Dani was taken off gaurd by him. Next time she promised me she would scream bloody murder. She's a petite thing, the #&%!$tard has more than half a foot in height on her. I'm sure a Knight would rush to her side and do what I shouldn't do. ;) In fact, some burly man asked her if she were OK while she was on the phone with me.”

“Its one thing to react violently in the heat of the moment, its another to do it after the moment has passed and you have to seek him out. I don't know your wife or anything about her, but I will assume she is a decent person so I will also assume that she will think less of you if you make a jerk of yourself to show how manly you are. You have her and his friends, let him have his pity party.

With that said, if he ever does it again, then #&%!$ this advice, make their be a cleanup in aisle three.”

“XL is right. Besides, if you were to get violent you just made us all accessories after the fact. We would all go to jail and not be able to go backpacking.”

“That's the problem, hyway. It's the second time he's been a complete douchebag to her while she's been with me. The first time was in our backyard, early in our relationship. I promised her I would stay inside while she had it out with him. She told him in several ways that he can't treat her like this, talk to her like this, to leave her alone, etc. This was not a calm fight in the backyard That was tough to sit through.

So when she called, I didn't think twice. The store is about a five minute drive.

In fact, He was disrespectful in much the same way to the Wife of his former Best friend. That is the reason they are no longer friends.

I'm not trying to be all Macho. But that is disrespect I can not tolerate. And cowardly. Nothing worse then bullying someone, especially someone you completly physically outmatch.

He needs a talking to, to say the least.

I'm getting all agitated again.”

“When I was a teen ager, my Aunt's ex-husband dropped by our house when she was visiting shortly after he had harrassed her. I was proud of my dad...he stood up for her in an interesting way.

Rather than threaten him, my dad just kept saying that if he did that again, he would end up in jail. No matter what he said, my dad just kept assuring him it would land him in the penetentiary...very effective.

Can you get a restraining order against him?

Now, having said all that, I am not qualified to give any advice here.”

“Bear it is particularly aggrivating to us who believe in TAKING ACTION when we are told to "stand by".

I cannot tell you the number of times I have been called to "intervene" in a situation only to have the "caller" tell me to back off and stand there.

One particular event I walked up (ex boyfriend standing there) and I apologized to the guy, took the girl out of hearing range and asked, "What do you want ME to do?"

She said, "Stand there." Then she proceeded to allow him to treat her like crap and call her every name in the book. When it was over she was angry at him, she #&%!$ed that he did this or that. You know what conclusion I came to?

It is a repeat of the battered spouse syndrome. Where the woman gets the crap repeatedly beat out of her to the point where the guy gets arrested and she for some wierd reason keeps thinking .SHE WAS AT FAULT. I know perfectly intelligent women AND men who go through a relationship failure and think it was THEIR FAULT.

I ended up telling this particular girl that if she needed to call someone next time call 911. I explained that I did not enjoy being a dog on a chain that had to watch that stuff. Then I told her my belief that there in domestic situations there are NO UNWILLING VICTIMS.

LOL that was two years ago...anyone want to hazard who she is "married to" today? Yep Married and safe becuase he finally beat her enough to end up in prison...and she is STILL MARRIED TO HIM.”

““So wait, i tell him off but no violence? Can i threaten a little ultra violence? The boy has no concept of right and wrong, that's why I'm thinking some violence is required, no?”



No! No violence. The first thing you MUST do is do nothing until you can deal with it without losing control. Beating his ass is like spanking a kid. You show them that violence is the answer to get the response that you want. You have to show yourself the bigger man. If you talk to him begin with an apologetic statement. Now hear me out! When you begin a tense situation with a sympathetic statement you trigger a change in the person’s brain. They switch to their part of there brain that uses sympathy and not anger. Works great on kids too. Tell him, “Hey man, I’m sorry our marriage came to you as a shock…but [insert your displeasure with his behavior here].”.

When you stay calm and cool you show him why he lost everything to you. And if he is still an #&%!$ and needs warned you tell him very simply and calmly that if he presents himself as a threat to you or your wife you will kill him without a thought. OK, maybe tell him you will “ruin his life even further”. If you yell and scream you’re gonna kill him it’s all emotion. Tell him calmly and they will stop and think, “Oh shlt, this guy is saying that and he’s not freaking out? Oh shlt.”.

If you fall into your most base emotions and do not maintain control not only are you showing the ass hole you are no better than him but what are you showing your wife?”

“As usual Nigal is right. Bear when I have to intervene in tense situations my first action is to introduce myself and "set ground rules". Many of the people I have to deal with are used to getting people to back down by being A$$holes. I had one lady who was 6'5" and about 380lbs. She had left a number of messages telling a staff worker she was going to "TEACH HER SOME MANNERS."

When she showed up I (at 5'8" 185lbs) walked out introduced myself and explained that I was going to hear her problem and treat her as an adult and I expected the same. I explained that any derrogatory comments, terroristic threats or abusive language would get her a ride in a grey (Sheriffs office) car.

We resolved the situation and she left. No one but me noticed the butt of a revolver in her sweat shirt. She had come to shoot someone....but approaching the situation with a calm demeanor can help.”

“"I had one lady who was 6'5" and about 380lbs."

Goony Googoo Gus. LOL!”

“Thank you Mr. Murphy.”

“If you fall into your most base emotions and do not maintain control not only are you showing the ass hole you are no better than him but what are you showing your wife?”

That I care. She became convinced that he has Asperger's Syndrome. :p

Your points are well taken and I will remain calm at our next encounter. Thank you.”

“UM..bear it could be worse.

http://www.break.com/index/keystone_beer_commercial.html”

“1) tell her to stop shopping at that gay little foofoo mart. walmart is cheaper and would have more bystanders if he approaches her again.

2) fatten her up so the douchebag won't want her anymore.”

“

always use wood, there's a good chance it will break while you're beating him and then you can stab him with the jagged edge”

“I haven't read all the answers, but I can tell you that I would NOT forget/forgive if my husband wouldn't do anything about a person that threatens me in any way. That being said... you've got to walk away. your wife won't understand, and if she acts like she does understand...trust me...she doesn't. women like a man who sticks up for them.

okay, I hope i did not confuse you just a little bit more when it comes to women. heeheehee...

what about a protection order?
and honestly...I would kick anyone myself the moment someone would corner me!”

“grow up”

“Next time you see him bonk him on the head and drop him off in Annacostia.”

“better yet, bonk him on the head, take his ID, credit cards, cash, etc and put him on a Trailways bus with a 1 way ticket to podunk, west virginia”

“I dont think bonking on the head should be considered violence. It's a calm natural response to people being morons. "You're a Moron!" BONK!”

“little bearmagnet foo foo
hopping through the grocery store
scooping up the ex-husbands
and thonking them on the head.”

“Enter clever Bonking Haiku here:”

“In the legalistic age we are in the really bad part is that the Ex can claim some "mental illness" and will not belocked away with Nurse Ratchet. Rather he will be returned to the street as a VICTIM (obtaining the ultimate in protection cards).

His actions cannot be Prevented by the police. Since you cannot arrest someone until they DO something, you have to find a way to make him worry about his freedom.

If your wife knows who his Psychobabbler is, get a couple of police reports (even minor incidents carry more weight with a police report number) and forward them to the Psychobabblist with a letter stating that HIS client is showing destructive and dangerous behaviors. Ask him (the Psych) if he believes that disregarding these actions are in the best interest of the client. And ask the Psychobabblist to respond if, given the antisocial behavior his patient is exhibiting "Does the Doctor feel allowing his patient to remain in an unsupervised state will be in the best interest of the patient."

What you are doing is formally asking the Psychobabblist to establish that his actions are meeting the first law of medicine (yes I know Psychology is to medicine like Snake Oil Sales is to Pharmeceuticals). The first law of medicine is "DO NO HARM". In essence you are advising this "doctor" that you believe his patient is not healthy and asking him to make a PROFESSIONAL decision.

Bear, a couple of years ago I got a call on a Saturday from a friend who was out of town. He was in the process of divorcing his wife and she had asked if he "still loved her and was planning on living with her forever". She was every bit as psychotic as this ex seems to be. When he said he felt a change of life may be in order she answered<"WELL then I know what I have to do."
He was calling to ask if I could go check on her the next day. I had to ask a VERY important question,"In my capacity I am REQUIRED by law to report a suspected crime. DO YOU BELIEVE she is capable of committing suicide?"
He replied she had tried a number of attempts before. Given that I advised him to call her Pshychobabblist and tell him what had transpired.
The long and short was she had tried to OD on a S-Load of meds.
She died three times on the table. And less than 3 days later the Psychobabblist was planning on releasing her. My friend asked the same question I just directed you to ask the ex's psych. As a result the lady was put in in-patient care for another couple of weeks.

Now if you do EXACTLY as stated, and Psycho 1 says ex is safe...then something happens...YOU HAVE GROUNDS TO GET RICH! YOU HAVE GROUNDS TO SUE!”

“Ex husband? Or ex boyfriend?”