TEAM OF 'UNDERGROUND SUBMARINES' STALKIN G IRAN

“U.S. MILITARY HAS TEAM OF 'UNDERGROUND SUBMARINES' STALKING IRAN

By MICHAEL FORSYTH

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- America's military arsenal includes a deadly new weapon: Submarine-like craft that travel underground instead of underwater!

Dubbed Subterranean Underground Vehicles, or SUVs, 14 of the top-secret vessels are already roving far beneath the sands of Iran, poised to launch a surprise attack if it becomes necessary to overthrow the rogue regime.

"They're mega-gasguzzlers, but that's no problem since they clandestinely tap into Iran's oil wells," said a reliable Pentagon source.

"SUVs are already in place near Iraq's most strategically important cities -- including Tehran, Hamadan, Bakhtaran and Mashad.

"The White House is hoping diplomacy will persuade Iran to abandon its nuclear program.

"But if President Bush gives the word, elite troops aboard those craft could emerge and easily overrun Iran's unprepared defensive forces."

Each SUV's nose is equipped with powerful drills capable of boring through solid granite and the craft's six giant, retractable digging claws allow it to tunnel like a mole. Under farmland, the vehicles can travel 20 miles a day.

"Under sand, they're faster -- capable of slithering up to 45 m.p.h.," the insider said.

The source refused to provide details of the highly classified technology. But he warned: "If Iranian officials don't play ball with Uncle Sam they'll face dire consequences."

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Conspiracies & Secret Organizations seem to be in favor on TT these days.
Here's another just as valid!



From that fine example of first rate news, The Weekly World News!

LOL
last edited: 2/12/06 9:09:08 PM”

““Stovie, I had a mental picture of marines with picks and shovels digging tunnels like mexicans under the border. Undermining the enemy is still used in warfare today. Cruise missles are a heck of a lot easier though.””

“Sorry Bateaux, the Marines were never assigned these new SUV's, the Army Rangers got them all. They were developed in the late 1990s and were first tested at the Groom Lake research facility. This location was chosen because the sand compostion there was so similar to the sand in Iran. These vehicles were developed specifically for use in Iran.
The first tests had limited success using only four digging/propulsion units, the vehicles were later modified to use six of the digging/propulsion units and only then achieved the 45 MPH speeds.
While I have never driven one the units I did help develop them while I was being held, err, I mean employed at Area 51.”

“Loose Lips Sink Ships!”

“These ships are already sunk! Under the desert that is. HAHA”

“DOH!!!”

“Marines never get the new equipment. Their SUV consists of a pair of boots and an E-Tool.”

““Loose Lips Sink Ships!” - StoveStomper

You beat me to it.”

“Actually, PETA is protesting these machines because they have killed a lot of moles.”